Nymphomaniac
by touttoi
Summary: Nymphomania: An abnormally excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire in women. Bella makes an interesting first impression on Edward.
1. Chapter 1

**Nymphomaniac**

_Synopsis:  
__Nymphomania: An abnormally excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire in women.  
Bella makes an interesting first impression on Edward._

Chapter One

"I'm not a nymphomaniac!" I screamed loudly.

Several other customers looked at me shocked. Mothers covered their children's eyes, the older man behind me looked disappointed and the extremely good looking checkout boy in front of me laughed awkwardly and continued piling my 'purchases' into a plastic bag.

...

I knew the minute it blurted out of my mouth I'd made a mistake.

"What about condoms as balloons?" I thought out loud amidst the party planning for my best friend's 21st.

I don't know why I'd said it. It seemed like a brilliant idea inside my head. Well, actually it is a good idea.

I'm not sex maniac and neither is Rosalie. I'd known her since freshman year of high school and we became friends after our first Sex Ed class.

She'd boldly asked how big an erect penis is. It stumped the teacher, Mrs Flannigan, a substitute who'd been forced to take this class. She had greying hair and I'd worried Rose's comment would go straight to her heart, especially when she started clutching her chest. I thought she was going to drop dead in front of the class.

"Did you know a panda's penis is only 3 cm long?" Shy little I bravely said.

What, it's true!

I was trying to break the ice, ok. Or at least prevent a heart attack.

Mrs Flannigan promptly changed the subject to the female menstrual cycle after that.

Rose had always been known for her gutter mind track and was the first of the three of us to, ahem, play the fiddle, so to speak.

It was, and still is, code for the act.

Tyler was her boyfriend at the time, he was an alright guy to steal little Rose's _bow_ (so to speak) until he dumped her. Let it be known I have one hell of a karate kick and we were all worried whether any little Tyler's would make an entrance into the world after my little stunt. But, hey, my parents no longer feared me moving to the big city after graduation.

Alice agreed that condoms as balloons were a wonderful idea, ordering that I must buy them. I protested and I failed. Alice you could say is the ring leader. She holds the lead and directs us where to go, though sometimes she leads us astray. Today being a great example.

I met her after the Sex Ed debacle in the cafeteria line with Rosalie. She told me she did in fact know my little trivia and that was the reason why pandas were becoming extinct. They couldn't get their little dicks deep enough to penetrate and impregnate – her words not mine.

As I stood in that aisle I couldn't help berate myself. If only my little 14 year old mind could've kept her mouth shut I wouldn't be here trying to decide whether the ribbed or the glow in the dark would be better as party balloons.

I decided that the party would not be in the dark therefore the glowing ones were pointless.

I sighed I wouldn't trade Rose and Alice for anything, not even a life without out the embarrassment of choosing the best condoms for party balloons.

I debated between coloured and clear. I didn't understand why manufactures would even make coloured condoms in the first place. Once it was in why did the colour even really matter?

If there weren't so many options people wouldn't spend so much time in this aisle and I wouldn't be a magnet for perverts. I prepared to grab whatever my hands could find in the next twenty seconds. The elderly gentleman at the end of the aisle was slowly making his decent with his walker. I'd been here that long. He was about three walker drags away, hence why I only had approximately 20 seconds before he was in touching region, or I grabbed the ribbed and ran.

It was then, right next to the pregnancy tests (ironic, huh), that I spied them.

**ASSORTED, COLOURED, 24 PACK, ON SPECIAL**

I grabbed three packets; condoms were only 97% effective, they break, so I'm sure some will pop. And besides, it never hurts to have spare condoms lying around.

God, I'm starting to sound like Rosalie!

I made my way to the registers and waited patiently, trying to hide what I was holding without looking like I was trying to steal them. An older woman was on. Good. I'd be able to get out of here easily with an awkward glance and an apologetic smile.

"Excuse me can I put you through?" Oh My God. He is beautiful, hot, fuckable, magnificent... I thought as I drooled over the specimen before my eyes.

My eyes widened as he waited patiently for me to move. I was frozen I did not want this beautiful guy to see me purchasing 72 condoms. He will probably think I am some sort of sex maniac or prostitute.

Then he smiled, and God I think I died. It was not one of those ideal straight Hollywood smiles. But it was utter perfection. His green eyes were staring into mine causing my befuddled brain to mumble, "Ok," and my feet to begin walking.

He led me to the next register and turned on the conveyor belt. I put my purchases on it and as he picked up the first one that was when I screamed,

"I'm not a nymphomaniac."

I was shocked at my outburst. He was too, but he laughed smoothly, like it happened every day. He responded with a polite,

"I'm sure you're not, ma'am." Amusement was dancing in his eyes.

"It's miss actually." I'd always hated ma'am, as it made me feel 100 years old. I felt the need to reassure the Adonis that I was not attached, so I added, "I'm not married, or engaged, single actually." I flushed red, realising what I'd said. His eyes flickered to the condoms.

"I'm not a prostitute either," I started rambling, trying to cover for my outbursts, "I don't even have sex! I don't like it." I was embarrassed and talking extremely loudly. He was slowing down.

Goddamit! I only had three items, move faster man!

"I mean, I do like sex!" I continued trying to make myself seem normal, "It's great, I love it," Parents were now covering their children's ears, "I'm just saying I don't have sex often, I'm not a prude though, but I'm not a whore!" I demanded slapping my hand down on the counter.

He chuckled slightly, "Ok," he said slowly, cautiously, like I was a deranged woman demanding that she was not a sex addict. "That's $29.95." He said finally.

I threw $30 down on the counter, grabbed my plastic bag and ran out of the store. Children were dragged out of my way while I dodged the elderly men. Thankfully checkout boy number 3 was the only hot guy in that store otherwise I may have had to convert to lesbianism.

I made it out of the store. It was raining. The tiled ground was slippery. Feet please don't fail me now. If I die I might just have geriatrics stealing my corpse and using my 'purchases'.

Just as I was about to step off the tiles onto the bitumen I saw Jacob. I didn't know what to do. His crass ass would make some sort of joke about the products in my little plastic bag. I turned to run, but being me I slipped falling flat on my butt.

Jake saw me.

He laughed. I groaned and laid down on the wet, slippery, hard surface with the rain falling on my face.

"Bella, you're always falling for me, but I've told you. I root the other team." He winked holding out his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me off the ground. We walked back under cover and sat on a bench.

"Oh, Jacob, I'm so glad you told me that." I said sarcastically before adding, "And isn't it root _for_ the other team."

"We all make mistakes." He said sympathetically before laughing. "And root means to have sex in Australia." He laughed again and I rolled my eyes. "So, what are you doing at Wal-Mart?" He asked.

I grimaced, "Getting supplies for Rose's party." I told him the full truth. It was a mistake though. His eyes immediately lit up. Jake was like Alice in some regards. While Alice planned compulsively, Jake was more spontaneous. But you were always granted that if a party was thrown by either of the two it would be 'off the chain', as the kids say.

"Let me see!" He started bouncing on the wooden bench. I clutched the bag tightly in my hand. I knew it wouldn't stop Jake from ripping it from my clutches, but I was going to try.

"No!" Jake stopped bouncing, "It's, uh, women's supplies." I lied.

He eyed me suspiciously all the while glancing between me and the plastic bag.

"Did I not get notified that Rose's 21st is now an orgy?" He asked. The question threw me. What is he on about?

"No, it's not an orgy, why do you ask?"

"Because the products in that bag all say ANSELL." He laughed and I released my grip on the bag.

"I decided it would be a good idea to use them as balloons." The bench was now shaking with Jake's laughter. Wal-Mart really needed to update these benches. I'm scared I'm going to end up on my ass for a second time today the way Jake is laughing.

"Please stop laughing." I begged. He was drawing attention to us and I recognised some of the onlookers as the mothers in the store.

Jake tried to calm himself, "Alice?" He asked between gags. I assumed he was shocked that Alice agreed.

"She thought it was a good idea, considering the way we all became friends." Jake knew the story and, of course, this caused his laughing to amplify. He turned into one clapping grannies you find in the cinemas. You know the ones, when their laughter gets too much to handle they pull out the seal claps. Jake was slapping his thigh.

"Shut up, Jake!" I smothered his mouth with my hand, "Do you know how embarrassing it is to buy 72 condoms!"

"7 *laugh* tee *laugh* 2 *laugh* con *laugh* con *laugh* condoms!" Jake practically wet his pants. I frankly don't know what was so funny about it.

"Goodbye Jacob." I stood to leave.

He sobered up and grabbed my wrist, giggles still erupting from his mouth. "Bella, wait."

I waited, still standing, as Jake inhaled deeply trying to control himself.

"Did you say 72 condoms?" He said relatively calm. His mouth twisted into a slight smile and then he quickly tried to rearrange it into a serious face.

"Yes, well condoms break and stuff." I mumbled looking at my shoes. I could feel my face was on fire.

"I wish I'd seen you do that."

"Do what?" My head snapped up to see Jake fighting a smile.

"Buy them; you practically crawl into a hole whenever someone says the word penis. I can't imagine it," he said wistfully looking at the storm clouds. His eyes suddenly found mine, "Go back and buy some more." He smiled.

"NO!" I screamed at him, "It was horrible, Jake. Old men eyeing me up, mothers shielding their kids from me, the hot guy in which I told I liked sex. IT. WAS. HORRIBLE!" I outlined for him, while poking him in the chest, as he tried to drag me back into the store.

"Hot guy?"

I slumped down on the bench, hiding my face behind the plastic bag, "Dear God, he was beautiful. Checkout three." I added because I knew Jake was going to run off and check him out.

He returned quickly chewing on a mars bar. "That man was panty dropping." Jake said in awe.

"I know." I groaned.

"Good news, he's not gay." Jake smiled and I peeked out from behind my shield. He was grinning from ear to ear. Jake prided himself on his gaydar. "Want me to get his number for you?"

"No!" I screamed at him again, "he'll probably think I'll want payment or something." Jake eyed me like I was insane. "I'm going, I've got to get these to Alice, see you tonight?" Rose's party was tonight. I needed to get home and start blowing them up.

"Sure, honeybee." He said sweetly. It threw me, he was laughing at me just two seconds ago.

"Okay, see you." I waved suspiciously and walked to my truck.

Rose, Alice and I rented our own quaint little place two blocks away from college. Quaint meaning our own shit-box of a house. It had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a lounge and a mailbox, what more could one ask for? Maybe decent plumbing? But at least we had a roof over our heads. Our first two years we stayed in the dorms. This year we decided to become independent.

The place was a dump when we first started renting it. Ok, it's not that bad, nothing a good paint job didn't fix, but I'm pretty sure the previous tenants grew pot in the garden shed out the back. We haven't been able to open it and when we first moved in there were some pretty distinguishable smells being emitted. Upside is that rooming with Alice and Rose means that the interior and exterior looks pretty phenomenal.

Alice is studying design and marketing, while Rose is doing mechanical engineering. Rose is working on the plumbing; it only conks out once a week at the most now. I'm the girl who in high school sat absentmindedly doodling while the rest of the class planned their life long careers. I'm majoring in English.

I pulled my truck into the driveway next to Alice's little sporty yellow Porsche. Graduation present from her parents, can you believe it? I got a watch. The watch doesn't work anymore.

I walked in to see Alice.

"Bellaaaaa!" She squealed. She was jumping up and down. That's not unusual. Her voice on the other hand was strangely high, and squeaky. She sounded like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks.

There were two tanks beside her; they were almost the same height as her too. "Alice, what are these, and what happened to you voice?"

"Helium." She grinned in the same high pitched squeal. She let out a breath. "Did you get them?" Her voice returned to normal.

I threw the plastic bag at her. "Alice, I can never go to Wal-Mart again, ever." I said throwing myself on the couch.

She rolled her eyes, "Bella, they're just condoms, everyone uses them, and besides, why would you want to go back to Wal-Mart anyway."

"Alice, you should've seen the checkout guy." I groaned, remembering. I threw a pillow over my face in the hope of smothering myself, or at least the embarrassment.

"Was he cute?"

I nodded.

"Really?"

I lifted the pillow.

"He was an 11." I told Alice and her jaw dropped. She'd only found one 11 in her whole life. She is now Facebook stalking him. He's a friend of Emmett, Rose's boyfriend, also Rose's own personal 11. His name is Jasper and she has no guts to ask Emmett to introduce her to him.

Eleven's were rare. And I'd just lost my chance.

"I'm sorry B." Alice hugged me as I got up off the couch. "How about we fill these condoms with helium to try to cheer you up?" She said tearing into the first box.

The good this about renting this place is the parties. You could fit more people in our place than our entire dorm level.

There were at least 50 assorted, coloured, condom shaped balloons attached to our ceiling. 12 of them broke; the other ten were now in the vanity cupboard of the bathroom mirror.

The house was packed. Jake was here with a guy, a girl from my class, Angela and her boyfriend Ben, were admiring our balloons, I was hiding from an old boyfriend, Mike, and Alice was playing the perfect party hostess by directing some guys in, and instructing them where to put the keg. I didn't even know them.

Her cell chirped with a text. "Emmett says they're round the block." I quickly turned off all the lights and told everyone to stop moving. We couldn't exactly all hide in the pantry.

A body moved behind me and I froze. Please don't let it be Mike. "I have something for you." Jake whispered in my ear and I exhaled in relief.

"I can see the car lights." Alice called and I heard the engine of Emmett's Jeep cut.

Jake quickly shoved his hand down my top, putting something in my bra and I elbowed him in the ribs just as the front door opened.

The lights flicked on and everyone shouted "SURPRISE!" at a stunned Rosalie. She was never one to be out of the loop and seeing as her birthday was tomorrow we'd caught her off guard.

"Shit." Was what she said and we all laughed. Alice and I launched ourselves at her.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" We chanted.

"Aw, thanks guys." She said as the other guests broke out the kegs. "Are these condoms?" She asked. Alice laughed while I slinked away to get a beer. Alcohol seemed to control the blush factor. I could be naked after a couple of drinks and not feel an ounce of shame.

Jake found me first and handed me a Cruiser. I thanked him and then pulled the piece of paper out of my bra.

It had a phone number on it, "What's this?" I asked him taking a sip of my drink.

"Checkout boy number three's number." He grinned while my drink dribbled down my chin from shock.

"What." I deadpanned. "He gave you his number?"

"No, a, uh, friend of his gave it to me." He smiled. He was hiding something, but I was more concerned with checkout boy number three's number in my hand.

He was an 11. My inner voice whined.

"No," I said forcing the square piece of paper into Jake's hand, "I made an ass of myself, I am not calling him."

"No, he was hot Bells; just keep the number, save it for a rainy day." He smiled and walked away. I downed my drink. Just thinking about checkout boy number 3 made me want to find that hole I was digging and crawl into it.

The night from then on got a little fuzzy. Rose had a good time; she was definitely on a table at some point. Alice was hanging off this blonde guy, he was cute, I think. I couldn't tell because my vision was blurred. I don't know if that's from the alcohol I drank or the fact I somehow lost one of my contacts.

Mike was getting annoying though. Just because you date someone doesn't mean you're obligated to be their booty call for the rest of your lives!

I told him this.

"Come on Bella, just this once." He slurred slightly.

"Mike I have a boyfriend!" I retaliated, slurring also. I took another sip of whatever I was drinking. I couldn't seem to remember how much I'd drunk.

"For real?" Mike asked sounding all gangster.

"Yup! He's coming over now." I pried my phone out of my pocket. A white piece of paper came with it.

I stared at it. Checkout number three! I remembered. I dialled the number.

He picked up on the third ring sounding half asleep, "Hello." He mumbled.

"Checkout boy number 3!" I sang, "Remember me?"

* * *

_**A/N So I thought I wasn't going to be posting another story for a while, but here I am.**_

**_Tell me what you think. Too stupid, immature, do you want more? Review and I'll continue._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N Hello! Looks like everyone liked it, so I wrote. Thanks!**_

**_Enjoy._**

* * *

Chapter Two

A loud hammering at my door woke me. I opened my eyes only for them to be abused by the sun. I rolled over burying my head deeper into the doona.

I am hung over.

The loud hammering at my door happened again.

"What?" I croaked praying that they would just let me die alone and hopefully quietly.

"Bell-uh," came the groan of Emmett's voice, he was probably hung over too. Why wasn't he still sleeping? "Make me breakfast." He pleaded through the door. I pulled a pillow over my head hoping to drown out the noise.

"No." I responded.

"But my head hurts." He almost sounded like he was crying. I could feel my brow creasing. Emmett knew how to play me. I had a soft spot for him. I didn't know why, or how to get rid of it, but he always made me feel guilty when I didn't give into him.

He doesn't know this of course.

I groaned, loudly, trying to make him feel guilty and got out of bed. I caught my reflection in the mirror. It was awful. My normally pale skin was now gaunt with vampire-like shadows under my eyes. I pulled on the glasses I rarely wore hoping to hide the bags and so I could see a little clearer. I remember losing one contact lens, but the other one has also disappeared and I have no clue as to where.

My hair, oh, let's not go there. I grabbed an elastic and tied it up. I'd obviously been too out of it to even change last night, so I pulled off my jeans and put on some sweats. I'd only worn a tank top and it seemed stain free, so I must've been a steady drunk.

It was strange. My self-consciousness and clumsiness seemed to disappear whenever I drank. If only you could always be drunk. Then again, maybe not, my pounding head and lack of a memory would be a constant pain in the ass.

I unlocked the door and opened it. We always locked our doors for parties, nothing's worse than rumpled sheets and strange stains.

Emmett almost collapsed on top of me as the door swung open. He had been leaning his head on my door. I pushed on his chest to stop him from head butting me. That was the last thing I needed this morning.

Emmett looked shocking. "Bacon?" I asked.

"And eggs please." He mumbled and I patted his cheek as he continued to lean against my doorframe. I may feel horrible, but he looks worse.

I was the cook in this house, which is why I got the early morning wake up call. Alice burns toast, and Rose, well, let's just say she has the Chinese place on her speed dial.

I dragged my feet out to the kitchen. The place didn't seem too bad. Everyone seemed to have made it home, as there were no party leftovers. There was shit everywhere, of course, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage.

"Morning Sunshine." Jake chimed as I entered the kitchen. I flipped him off for his cheery disposition and he slid me a mug of beautiful, beautiful coffee. I mumbled quietly thanks because I still didn't feel like being happy just yet.

I pulled out two industrial fry pans, loading one with eggs and the other with bacon. The toilet may sometimes regurgitate, but this house had a magnificent kitchen.

I walked into the lounge room to turn the TV on. Yes, it would wake Rose and Alice up, but I was up and I was hung-over and I was making them breakfast, so we should all just suffer together, no?

I ended up finding a music channel. I turned around to go but froze when I saw the couch.

Well, not the couch specifically, it was still the same red 'L' shaped lounge that we bought when we first moved in here. I didn't have anything on it, stains wise, unless you count a 6 foot humanoid as a stain.

The thing that made me drop the remote on my foot causing me to swear loudly and the man to groan and bury his head further into the red sofa cushion was the fact that CHECKOUT BOY NUMBER 3 was asleep on my couch!

I ran back into the kitchen.

"Checkout boy number 3 is asleep on _my_ couch." I told Jake. The coffee mug was half way to his lips. He plonked it back down on the counter top, causing bits of coffee spilled over.

"No!" He said excitedly jumping down from the kitchen stool and hurrying to the lounge room. I followed him and we both leaned over the couch staring at beautiful checkout boy number 3 sleeping peacefully.

"Bella, he's your man." Jake said in awe.

I scoffed at him but then said, "I told Alice he was an 11."

"Bells, this is fate. He was destined to sleep on your couch." Jake told me.

We were still staring at him when my glasses slipped off my nose and landed on checkout boy number 3's hand. Jake swiped them quickly as he started to move. We both jumped when some unintelligible words escaped his lips. I started backing away from the couch. I bumped into Emmett.

"Food." He mumbled, sniffing the air. I sniffed too.

"Shit." I said to Jake, running (as fast as my head would allow) back into the kitchen. I pulled the eggs and the bacon off the stove top. It wasn't too bad. The eggs, which were meant to be scrambled, were now fried and the bacon was extra crispy (black) on one side.

I shrugged and piled the massive egg onto a plate for Emmett, along with some bacon rashers and began making more eggs, scrambled this time.

Jake entered the kitchen and sat down next to Emmett with his coffee and bacon. Emmett was digging into his breakfast.

"How did he get here?" I asked Jake, taking my glasses out of his hand and slipping them back on.

Jake put a piece of bacon in his mouth and pondered my question, "Did you call him?" he finally asked.

"No!" I said immediately and then thought about it, "I don't know, maybe!" I groaned grabbing my head.

"_Hello."_

"_Checkout boy number 3! Remember me?"_

It was fuzzy, I needed more. I ran into my room and grabbed my phone, scrolling through the call log I found an unknown number at least five hours after the party started. I exited my room, passing Rose and Alice; they were ogling checkout boy number 3. I ignored them and went and told Jake.

"So, what happened," he gasped, "did you sleep with him?"

"I don't know what happened, I remember Mike and," I told him slowly. "No, I didn't sleep with him!" I said indignantly as his comment sunk in. "Firstly, he's on my couch and secondly I woke up in my clothes from yesterday, and thirdly, I'm not a whore!"

I heard a chuckle from the door. I spun around. Checkout boy number 3 was awake. Alice and Rose were standing next to him, but were facing his side. Both had their mouths open staring at him. I saw Rose's lips move into what I assumed to be the question 'who is he'.

I flashed her eleven fingers. Alice understood and whispered something in Rose's ear. Rose did the big 'Oh' of recognition.

Checkout boy number 3 ran a hand through his wild bronze hair.

"Edward, can you pass me the syrup?" Emmett mumbled through a mouthful of eggs and bacon. Everyone's eyes flashed to checkout boy number 3... or Edward.

He tugged on his hair again, "Uh, where do you keep the syrup?" He asked me.

I spun and got the maple out of the pantry and handed it to him. He passed it to Emmett who poured it all over the remaining bacon and eggs. His hand returned straight back to his hair and we all stood there awkwardly.

I waited for him to say something. He didn't, so I took damage control on this situation.

"So, Edward?" I asked him and he sprung into action.

"Oh, shit, yea, Edward Cullen." He said holding out his hand formally. I shook it.

"Bella Swan." I released his hand first, and he drove both his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

The awkward silence continued. The only sound was Emmett digging away at his food. He had also taken the remainder of the bacon.

"So, what are you doing here?" Jake asked, thankfully.

"Oh, well, I got this strange phone call last night," he started and all the blood in my body rushed to my face. "Yes, someone rang me; she called me checkout boy number 3." Everyone in the kitchen looked at me, except for Emmett. He was attempting to reach for the scrambled eggs. I passed the pan to him.

Edward hadn't continued and everyone was still staring at me, "Sorry." I mumbled.

"Yes, well, you were talking to some guy Mike telling him that you would not have sex with him because you are," Edward used his fingers as quotation marks here, "_not a whore!_"

"Oh God!" I groaned and buried my face in my hands. In less than 24 hours I had told Edward three times that I was not a whore. He probably thinks I'm a whore. He probably thinks of me as the nymphomaniac just like I think of him as checkout boy number 3.

"You actually screamed that part," he added, "then I heard Emmett call across the room 'Bella, no drunk dialling' and then the call was disconnected." He finished. I hadn't removed my hands from my face.

"So, how did you get here?" Jake asked.

"Oh, Emmett came by my place and picked me up about 5 minutes after the phone call." Edward said.

"I drove last night." Emmett exclaimed, dropping his fork on his plate with a loud clang. His comment jolted me and I dropped my hands to my coffee mug.

"Yea, I barely had time to pull on jeans." My eyes flickered to the jeans and my thoughts drifted to what he could've pulled them on over. Nothing hopefully... I picked my eyes up. Edward was staring at me. He'd caught me checking him out. I blushed and turned to scrub one of the pans in the sink horrified.

"Oh shit." Emmett added, "Is everyone ok? The Jeep?"

"It's fine." Edward confirmed.

"So, Emmett brought you here and you decided to sleep on the couch?" Jake asked. I was thankful he was here; otherwise we'd all still be standing here gawking at each other.

"Yes, well when we got here some people were leaving. I tried to find the Bella girl," his eyes flashed to mine, "I'm sorry, I tried to find you, but I actually didn't know it was you." He smiled; the same smile he smiled when he asked if he could serve me. Oh God that sounded dirty. That is what that smile does to me.

"Yea, about that..." I started.

He laughed, "No, it's ok. I'm trained to not be judgemental. And I get it now." He pointed to the ceiling. The condom balloons were starting to sink now, they were now floating about the level of Edward's head. "72?" He asked, laughing. I cringed.

"Uh, no, 50, some popped." And some are in my bathroom for when we need them. My brain added. It said crazy things whenever Edward was around. Thankfully that last comment was in my head.

I saw Jake laughing out the corner of my eye. "Did you actually give him your number?" I asked as I jerked my thumb in Jake's direction. "He's gay you know that right, unless, ohh..." I let my words trail off.

Edward's eyes widened, "No, no, I'm not gay, I like girls, and," he stopped himself suddenly and changed his thought track. "I didn't give him my number?"

"Then how..."

"Emmett gave it to me." Jake answered. I frowned. Why would Emmett have his number? Realisation dawned on me.

"Oh, Cullen right?" I asked Edward and he nodded slowly, "Is Emmett your brother?" Edward nodded again. "So is it a coincidence that he brought you here?"

Everyone looked at Emmett.

"The last think I remember doing was body shots off Rosie." Emmett said.

I looked at Rose. She was tinted pink. Emmett was to only person who could get Rose to blush.

"Happy Birthday Rose." I said after a moment. A chorus of happy birthdays went off.

Emmett sat up straight and rubbed his eyes, "I got you a present." He stood and left the room. Normally we all would be pouncing on Rose, showering her with gift wrap and bows. Edward was standing there, nervously, in our kitchen, preventing our normal activities.

"I should probably go." He stated, no one protested. Should I stop him? He's my 11. I shook my head, it's Rose's birthday.

Edward started to head towards the door, "didn't you come with Emmett?" Jake asked. He stopped and patted the pockets of his jeans. Digging in he pulled out a set of car keys.

"I'll take the Jeep. It was nice meeting you all." He smiled and left. The four of us were quiet and then Alice and Rose pounced.

"How could you let him leave?"

"B he was hot."

"Are you two going to go out?"

"Did you sleep together?"

"I didn't know Emmett had a brother."

"Bella, you know I don't like you wearing your goggles."

"Rosie, happy birthday." Emmett interrupted their endless attacks by wrapping his arms around Rosalie's waist and handing her a box wrapped in red wrapping paper.

The gift broke their concentration. Rose tore the paper off and was left holding a glass box. Inside it was a miniature car model, a red BMW M3 convertible. She'd wanted one forever. Or at least it felt like forever, especially when she first saw it; it was all she talked about.

"One day I'll buy you the real deal." Emmett whispered in her ear and she turned to kiss him.

Alice began talking at me again, tearing my eyes away from Rose and Em's little display in the kitchen.

"So, checkout boy number 3." She prompted and I rolled my eyes.

"He has a name."

"Small details." She said waving her hand in the air. She swatted a particularly low condom balloon and it hit Rose on the head. She broke away from Emmett and they both turned to face me. Emmett looked considerably better.

Maybe make out sessions cured hangovers?

Damn, if only checkout boy number 3 was still here.

"What do you want to know?" I asked nonchalantly picking up a half eaten rasher and taking a bite. It was off Emmett's plate and still had remnants of syrup. Yuk. I dropped it as Rose asked,

"Did anything happen between you two?" I was shaking my head before she'd even finished her question.

"Nothing," I added, "I'm pretty sure we didn't do anything last night except the phone call. I can hardly remember a thing after Singstar broke out, and besides, he said he couldn't find me when he arrived."

"Why did you let him leave?" Alice asked her face twisted between disappointment and anger.

"Geez Ali, don't give me that look. It's Rose's birthday," I told her and she gave me a 'so what?' look. "Also, it was awkward, wasn't it? What was I suppose to do?"

"Ask to see him later, follow him out, I don't know, utilise the 'extras'." I glared at her when she winked on extras.

I chose to change the subject. Too much Edward talk was doing my head in.

"Rose, I got you a present, I'll go get it." I headed out of the kitchen and I heard Alice follow, saying that she also had something for _us_. Yes, I heard that too. _Us_. What has she done?

I got her one of those mega 21 key things and a gold linked bracelet, with tiny diamonds encrusted in the latch. We'd seen it on a shopping trip. Rose claimed it was too expensive, it was a little, but I knew she really wanted it when she sighed and smile wistfully. Rose and jewellery was easy to read.

I exited my bedroom. Rose was in the hallway awaiting her presents and Jake and Emmett were still in the kitchen.

"Happy Birthday Ro." I hugged her and gave her the key. She laughed.

"To your chastity belt?"

Ha ha. Say you're not a whore and people think you're a prude.

"Oh, with a comment like that do you really deserve this?" I said innocently, slowly swinging the box from side to side. It was unwrapped and Rose's eyes followed it like she was hypnotised.

I handed it to her and she opened it. She let out a small squeal before leaping on me. "Thank you Bella, how did you know?" She asked taking it out of the box and holding it up to admire. I just shrugged.

It was then I noticed Alice.

She was standing outside her bedroom door staring at the door handle.

"Alice?" I called apprehensively. She seemed 'in the zone', like she was trying to turn the door knob with her mind.

Rose looked up too. Alice turned around with a sheepish smile. "Is there a man in there Alice?" Rose questioned in joke.

Alice's eyes widened, not quite the response I was expecting. I thought she'd crack a joke like she'd slept with Hurley from _Lost_ or something. But Alice bowed her head and shuffled her feet.

"Is there?"

Alice waved at us and Rose and I tip toed over to her door. She held a finger to her lips and slowly cracked the door. Rose, Alice and I peaked in. There was the blonde guy who I vaguely remember from the party. He was halfway through pulling his pants up, he was still shirtless.

"Oh shit!" Alice exclaimed loudly and then slammed the door loudly.

"Alice, who was that?" I asked her, looking at Rose.

Rose's eyes were twinkling. "Best birthday ever!" She exclaimed with that all knowing smile she added, "that was Jasper, wasn't!"

Alice stammered out a yes, still holding the door handle. There was a knock from the other side and I saw Alice fighting the knob that was trying to turn.

"Jasper, 11, Jasper?" I confirmed.

"Yes." She hissed at me. "What do I do?" She whispered.

"Go back in there." Rose said while I suggested,

"Maybe let him out Al."

"I can't, we were drunk last night, what if he doesn't remember?" She reasoned.

"Alice, you've got to talk to him." I told her while she deliberated.

She sighed and released the door knob. The door didn't open as Jasper was no longer clawing at freedom. Rose turned the handle and let the door swing open fully. Poor Jasper looked shocked at being confronted by three girls. At least he was dressed this time.

Rose pushed Alice in the back and she stumbled forward.

"Hey." She said shyly. Alice Brandon was never shy.

"Uh, Rose," I said trying to think of a diversion, a way to give Alice and Jasper privacy, a way to turn invisible, anything! "Let's go ask Jake if he'd do that gay kid on _Glee_?" Really, Bella? Even you know the answer to that.

"Bella, you know Jake wouldn't, his voice annoys him." Jake preferred rock to the 'show tunesy pop'.

She wasn't budging as I tugged on her arm. "Rose, move your ass." I said harshly and she slinked away giving me the stink eye.

We attempted clean up while waiting for Alice. We decided not to pop the 'balloons' as they added charm to the house. And what would the garbage man think if we threw out 50 condoms at one time?

Rose had told us Emmett was big, but no one needed to add to his ego.

Finally! We all heard the door to Alice's room open.

"I'll call you tomorrow darl." I assumed Jasper said. If it was Alice then she needed to get her testicles checked out.

Jasper walked through the living room, nodding his head to Rose and I, "Ladies." I'd never been one for a southern accent, but that man just made Woody from _Toy Story_ sexy.

Alice emerged after; she was glowing, smile ear to ear.

"So?" Rose asked.

* * *

_**Hm, what went down? **_

**_This story at the moment has no rhyme or reason, so anything could go down, hit me with your weird and wonderful. I hope to update weekly. Wish me luck._**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Wow."

"Wow."

"I know, wow." Alice agreed with Rose and I. She had just finished recapping her night to us.

Emmett had brought Jasper to Rose's party; he was quite the matchmaker last night. Not that Edward and I are going out or anything. But not saying I don't want to, it's just, I don't think Edward would want to. He was pretty awkward this morning. Well, so was I, I suppose...

"Did you really say wow to Jasper?" Rose asked and Alice nodded.

Alice had gotten a little tipsy, like the rest of us, but she confessed her feelings for Jasper. That was it, they sang, they danced, they drank, they had sex.

"Yeah," Alice said sheepishly, "he finishes telling me that he's like me for so long and he always wanted to ask me out and that he was sorry that he didn't get to do the gentlemanly courting before we slept together and I say wow." She buried her face in her hands. "I sounded like an idiot, but then he kisses me." She looked up beaming.

Damn lucky bitch.

I could tell checkout boy number 3 that I was lusting after him hard and he'd probably throw me a twenty to get down on my knees. God, I'm a horrible person. He's Emmett's brother, how bad could he be? At the very least I'll get a polite decline and a lifetime of mortification.

Rosalie squealed a very un-Rosalie like squeal and pounced on Alice. "I'm so happy for you." She gushed.

Emmett and Jake entered the living room, probably curious as to what caused the squealing.

"Alice has a boyfriend!" Rose sang in a very 'high school' fashion.

"The Southern hottie?" Jake asked and Alice nodded, "Nice." He grinned.

"Jasper?" Emmett asked, "If I'd known you liked him Ali I would've hooked you up." He smiled widely.

Emmett looked considerably better than this morning. I told him this and he just winked at me in a seedy way. I rolled my eyes at him. Jake and Alice had fallen into a deep conversation about Jasper and Alice's upcoming date.

They were going out tomorrow night.

"Babe, how come I didn't know you had a brother?" Rose asked suddenly. Emmett just shrugged.

"He just moved back to Seattle." Emmett added.

"To work at Wal-Mart?" I asked, hopefully nonchalantly, but really I just wanted to know more about him.

"No, he's studying to be a teacher, music." Oh wow. I think I just died a little inside. Attractive man, a musical man, a man who is going to work with kids! He mustn't be real. I just nodded.

"I've been to your parents house millions of times, why have I not heard of Edward before?" Rose asked Emmett. She was still stuck on the Edward problem.

Emmett sighed, "Mum doesn't like to talk about him." Rose and I shot him a look so he elaborated, "Edward went through a phase."

Oh, here comes the disclaimer.

"Phase?" Rose asked.

"Phase." Emmett nodded, "Edward is uh," he glanced at me before he said, "unlucky with relationships." I frowned a little because Emmett was still staring at me and I was unsure as to how I should be processing this new information.

Isn't everyone unlucky in love? I obviously wasn't lucky since I haven't settled down and popped out 2.5 kids. Though I wasn't unlucky, I haven't had a terrible time in the dating arena.

"So, Edward moved to California with a girl he'd been seeing for a month, he thought she was working as a night nurse, she was working as a stripper, yes, that's it, wow, is that the time, I should shower or something." Emmett rattled off quickly and stood up.

Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him back onto the couch. "I shouldn't be telling you this." Emmett said and Rose and I both laughed. Since when did Emmett have morals?

"So Edward had a bad girlfriend, that's no reason to neglect to mention he exists." Rose wormed her way in.

"When he left it was abrupt and unplanned, un-Edward like. It broke Mum's heart. There's more to the story, I actually don't know all the details." Emmett was squirming. I'd never seen him so serious for so long.

"Oh well I'm going to go shower." He said standing up from the couch. Rose stood up too and I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Oh Bella please, we're water smart, we shower in pairs." Rose said.

"Does that mean I should shower with Alice?" I asked her and Emmett's step faulted. Rose smacked him over the head and they then ran to the bathroom. I swear if they break the tap again I'm banning them from ever showering again. It still takes two hands just to get the hot water to turn.

The five of us went out for Rose's birthday, nothing big. Saw a movie, had an early dinner as breakfast was more like lunch and then returned home. To a mess. Despite our 'efforts' during Alice and Jasper's talk the house was still a pigsty.

We had collected most of the food scraps earlier today, now it was just the streamers Alice had decorated with and leftover cups. The 'balloons', still up.

"So, Bella," Alice started. "Are you going to go after Edward?" I halted in my efforts to remove a weird stain from the floorboards. Rose was about to leave the house to put the empty bottle in the recycling but dropped the box and leapt over the couch.

"I don't know." I said slowly. "It sounds like he just came out of a bad relationship." I scrubbed the floorboards a little harder. It was sticky, what the hell is it?

"Call him." Rose insisted.

"I don't want to be the rebound." I said and Rose's eyebrows crinkled in frustration. We all knew what that was like.

The stickiness started to peel off the floor. The hard lump may've left the floor, but now there was a strange discolouring. I shifted the coffee table so you could no longer see it and stood up. I came face to face with Alice.

Uh oh busted.

Her face wasn't angry though, she was all misty eyed.

"Alice?"

"Idea!" She told me holding up her index finger. Rose got up off the couch and stood next to me.

"Not rebound." Oh God, Alice was talking in fragments, she does this when she get real excited. Her eyes were bright and she was smiling widely as she whispered the next word as if it was the simplest solution to our problem.

"Friends."

"Friends." Rose smiled.

Rose turned so now both she and Alice were facing me.

"Guys, no, think about this rationally." I started backing away from the two crazies.

"No, Bella, it's a perfect idea." Alice started.

"You two already have connections."

"Through Emmett,"

"Through the condoms." Rose battered one near her head away.

My calves hit the lounge and I sat down. I was not in a power position. I was scared of my two best friends. This could not end well.

"He's new to town," Rose started again.

"You could offer to show him around," Alice went on. It was scary when they did stuff like this, finishing each other's thoughts an all.

"We're all at the same college together,"

"You could be his mentor,"

"His tour guide,"

"His _friend_." Alice finished.

"Guys, I can't just plot to be his friend, what am I meant to do? Walk up to him as say 'library is over there, just in case you were wondering, oh you weren't oh well let's be best buds?'" I rolled my eyes and went to the front door to take out the recycling. I needed out before they forced me to do something I didn't want to.

I dumped the trash in the bin. The night air was cool and it gave my thoughts clarity.

Maybe I could be his friend. I could be someone's friend; it was just the other stuff I worried with. But if I'm his friend then that's as simple as watching the odd movie together, being the shoulder to cry on when his goldfish dies.

Edward doesn't seem like the type of guy to cry over a goldfish though.

Maybe I could be his pimp. Get him dates with other girls. I let out a shaky breath. It was hard thinking about that for some reason. I didn't want to put myself out there and risk getting hurt but I didn't want him to put himself out there and risk missing out on me.

I could be something great, couldn't I?

I shook my head and started to head back inside. I was being ridiculous. I met him just over 24 hours ago and our encounter was based solely on an invented sex disorder and some drunken antics.

Life returned after the weekend.

I went to my classes and I went to work. I worked part time at a bookstore near college.

I did look out for Edward. I had no clue when he had classes and he probably didn't need new books mid way through the term, but on a whim I kept an eye out, just in case he was, I dunno, looking for the library.

I'd been caught a couple of times looking for him. I felt like an idiot.

So, yes, I was looking for Edward. I figured it never hurt to know people, and I'm sure Edward would appreciate a friend. Just friends.

Rose and Alice were plotting against me though. They're trying to send me back to Wal-Mart or accidently to his apartment. He lived alone apparently, in the same building as Emmett, or so I've heard. They haven't stopped 'dropping' Edward into conversations. I don't understand why they want this to work out so bad.

Emmett was thinking of other ways, more ludicrous ways, to get me to go to Wal-Mart just to meet Edward again. One even involved murder just so I could buy a coffin. I'm sure that one would go down well.

I spend the whole week 'not' looking out for Edward. Now it's Friday. I'm tired after pulling an all nighter for an assignment due this morning, I have to get up early to work tomorrow morning _and_ just wholly lacking the will to go on living.

Checkout boy number 3 can just go screw himself!

Whatever is or isn't meant to happen between the two of us will or won't happen. I'm done looking. Tomorrow, after sleep and a shit load of coffee, I may feel different about this, but today, meh.

It was after my first, and thankfully last, class of the day that I made my way to the campus coffee shop for the third time today.

I got a large, steaming hot espresso and made my way out to go home and chill. I knew that there was a huge crack in the concrete where the pavers didn't quite meet smoothly as I'd already tripped over it once this morning, so I was watching the ground.

I looked up briefly to make sure I wasn't going to run into anyone.

The path ahead clear of people is what I should've seen. Instead it had one. Checkout boy number 3. Then I tripped. The crack I'd been looking for found me and I tripped over.

Luckily I didn't hit the ground. Checkout boy number 3 softened my fall as he stumbled backwards into an outside table.

Unluckily, I'd been holding a steaming cup of coffee, and he was wearing a white shirt. A white t-shirt that stretched across his broad chest like an underwear model.

A burning sensation on my hand pulled my thoughts from Edward's chest. I'd spilt coffee on my hand, worse still I'd spilt coffee onto Edward's white shirt.

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry." I said. I could feel my cheeks reddening. There were napkins on the table that Edward had crashed into and I grabbed at them in clumps and forced them upon his chest. I think he was talking to me, but I kept muttering sorry over and over again.

I was mortified.

His hand covered mine, the one that was fussing over his shirt and my head snapped up, locking eyes with his. _That was weird._ My hand stilled and he took the damp serviettes out of my hand.

"Let me buy you another coffee." He said. I stuttered something along the lines of 'you shouldn't be buying me a coffee; I should be buying you a new shirt', but I'm sure it sounded more like 'no, no, buy coffee, you've a coffee shirt'. Instead of me getting these arguments across to him he took my hand and led me back into the coffee shop and ordered me another one.

The cashier eyed him and his wet t-shirt that was sticking to his chest defining it. I narrowed my eyes slightly. Does this woman not know how ridiculous she looks? Still eye fucking him she flirted with Edward. Oh my God, did she really just suggest he take it off to air? Honey, why don't you just leap over the counter and show him what you really think of him?

As he handed me my coffee I blushed unsure of where those feelings had come from. Thankfully, he didn't see my red cheeks.

He only released my hand when we had sat down at a table and I strangely felt lonely. Like something was missing.

"I am sor-" I started but he stilled my words my covering my mouth with his hand. I was tempted to lick it. I'm sure no other normal person has to restrain this urge.

My eyes flickered to his other hand which was wrapped around his coffee cup. He did have nice hands. Maybe I have a fetish. Hands can do wonderful things, I sure his can...

"Bella," He questioned, arching an eyebrow as his hand over my mouth loosened. He was asking me if he could remove his hand from my mouth, if I would shut up. I nodded slightly and his hand left my mouth.

"Edward I'm so sorry." I said quickly, so quickly that I wasn't even sure he had understood the words I'd said. He sighed and shook his head laughing. He'd understood what I'd said. I'd said nothing else for the past 5 minutes.

"Hey Bella, please don't apologise again." He smiled sweetly and I stared at him shocked.

"Why?" I asked. I sounded like a whiny child.

He rolled his eyes at my tone and replied in a similar one, "just because." Poking out his tongue for affect. I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't last long in my attempt to look like an idiot, as I soon discovered that I couldn't drink my coffee while being so stubborn.

We both broke out laughing when I finally sighed and picked up my cup.

"I don't like you apologising, Bella." He said sincerely, as I realised that he was answering my previous question. The intensity of his gaze into my eyes made me blush and finger the rim of my cup.

"How come?" I asked gathering the confidence to look back into his green eyes.

Edward shows emotions through his eyes and in this instance they darkened. I couldn't place what he was feeling because as soon as they darkened he dropped his gaze to the wooden table.

"You have no reason to."

I laughed loudly and his lips twitched as he lifted his eyes.

"You smell like cold coffee and no longer own a white shirt; I think this guarantees grounds for apologies."

"Bella, don't be such a downer." Edward laughed and I acted shocked.

"Did you just call me a downer?"

"Don't interrupt." He narrowed his eyes playfully and I, of course, spoke.

"I didn't realise you had more to say."

"Well I did."

"Oh well, do go on." I laughed and zipped my lips shut.

"I don't want you to say sorry for stupid thing." I went to protest but he eyed me down and I closed my mouth. "What I'm trying to say is we all have embarrassing stuff about us."

"So you're saying that I shouldn't apologise because of something that is encrusted in my DNA?"

"It would be like me apologising for having green eyes."

"I like your green eyes." I accidently blurted out. He chuckled, thankfully, breaking down the awkwardness that I thought would follow.

"Thank you." He smiled. _Eek!_

Wow Bella, inward squeal? It was _that_ smile.

"So," I said, I needed to stop my mind melting just over a smile, "tell me more about your theory."

"So it's a theory now?"

"Well," I just nodded so I didn't have to say words I didn't exactly have.

He smiled and continued anyway, "I'd like to think of it as, like I said, we all have embarrassing points, yours," he pointed to me, "are just a little more vocal." He laughed.

"Vocal? Edward, they're practically screaming at the moment. I swear you've become a trigger. Things are worse whenever I'm in the vicinity of you." I pointed towards him.

"Ouch, Bella, that hurt." He mocked, placing his hand over his heart.

"It's true though."

He eyed me before he said, "Bella, did you ever try to buy 72 condoms before?" I blushed red as I recalled the 'incident'.

"No, but-"

"No," he wagged his finger, "that situation you set up for yourself."

"How do you explain the crack and the coffee?" He just shrugged.

"I told you yours was just more vocal, most people's geeky traits aren't recognised unless they do something that puts them in the spotlight. Take my mum for-" He stopped suddenly, as he realised he was just about to spill a huge secret.

"For example?" I hedged.

"Has anyone ever told you you're too easy to talk to?"

I snorted; usually I was the one in the corner of the room fending off anyone that tried to be social with me. Well, that is, if I'm 100% sober. A couple of drinks on the other hand cause moments such as, oh, I don't know, drunk dialling?

Edward went on, "What type of son would I be if I told my mother's deepest secret?" He asked, but before I had a chance to respond he answered extremely quickly.

"My mum's the ping pong champion of Seattle."

"What?" I asked him dazed. He didn't repeat it as I started to smile and giggle. "Wow, that's so cool!"

"Don't tell anyone, she'd kill me." He said dead serious.

"Scouts honour."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence as we finished our drinks – mine was cold due to us talking. I was yet to feel awkward around Edward, coffee incident excluded, and even this silence wasn't weird.

I liked it.

I put my empty cup down while Edward drained the dregs of his cup and asked, "So you know about my nymphomania, my goggles and the fact that I fall over things normal people would usually avoid, what are Edward Cullen's hidden horrors?"

He chocked a little and set his cup down.

"Were we sharing?" He asked, his eyes begging a little for this to be dropped. I pondered dropping the conversation. Was it really fair though? All the little titbits he knew about me, and the more he was sure to gain through Emmett, and he won't tell me his one iddy biddy secret.

"Yes. Tit for tat, I gave you my tit, now you give me your tat." I said before my brain could think it through. I paused and groaned. "God did that sound wrong!" I moaned and buried my reddening face in my hands.

Edward was laughing across from me. "Shut up!" I growled.

"See what I mean about it being more vocal?" Edward pointed out.

"See what I mean about you being some sort of trigger," I retaliated, "I swear I don't talk like that in front of other people."

Edward grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away from my face. I was on fire.

"Bella, how about I give you my tat?" He laughed.

"It might make me feel better." I told him, one hand still covering my face, the other being held to the table by Edward's hand.

"Lower you hand." I did.

He sighed and said slowly, to assure that I wouldn't misunderstand, "I was involved in the mathletes in high school."

"But that's social suicide!" I screamed before thinking. I slapped my hand over my mouth and stared at Edward, eyes wide and apologetic.

He just laughed. "Sorry, it just slipped out." I apologised and he gave me a look which clearly said 'stop fucking apologising'.

As we'd both finished our coffees we decided to part ways. Edward didn't elaborate on his mathlete days, but I suppose that can be a story for another coffee spillage. Apparently, Edward had a class soon, in which I apologised _again_ because I'd worried that I'd made him late. He actually told me to stop apologising this time and assured me that I hadn't made him late. I was unconvinced, but I let it pass and left him.

I smiled as I made my way to my truck. My shitty day had turned out better than I thought. This thing between checkout boy number 3 and I was working out better than I thought it would. This is going to be interesting.

* * *

_**A/N Almost didn't get this out, but it's here, and there may be mistakes since it's almost midnight here. Enjoy anyway. If there's anything horrid there let me know.**_

**_Hopefully you'll see me in a week's time. Exams are kicking my ass. If you review I'll give you the first line of the next chapter, which is pretty damn epic, if I say so myself._**

**_:D_**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I got home yesterday smiling after my coffee incident with Edward. Jake was standing at the kitchen counter flipping through a catalogue.

"Afternoon Jacob." I sang while I made my way to my room to unload. I saw Jake look up from his magazine and stare at me until he was out of my line of sight. I dumped my books beside my desk. They looked at me, I knew I should do something with them, but I was in too good a mood right now.

I changed into my comfiest sweats so I could relax, maybe watch a movie. I opened my door to exit and was confronted with Jacob.

"Oh, hey Jake." I smiled up at him and he eyed me wearily. I wonder what's got his knickers in a twist today. I asked him, "You okay?"

"Yes," he said positively, "I'm just unsure about you." I shot him a confused look. Why wouldn't I be ok?

"I'm great Jake, thanks." I patted his bicep and made to move past him. Fail. Jake filled to doorway. He wasn't helping me leave though.

"Can I get out, Jake?" I asked. He shook his head. "Do you need something?" I tried and again he shook his head. "Jake, you're killing my mood, move before I knock the gloss off those lips." I threatened.

He held his hands up in surrender, but made no move to get out of my way. "Are you sure you're ok Bee?" He asked and I nodded.

"Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"Well this morning you looked like ass on burnt toast,"

"Really?" I asked him. The visual was doing my head in, how does he come up with this kind of stuff?

"Well, yeah, you stayed up all night and had to leave early. I was just wondering, you know, who you hooked up with." He asked.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed, "I was at school, where could I hook up with someone? In the bed of my truck?"

He stared at me, pondering the thought, "If only you had an enclosed..."

"Jacob!" I interrupted. "It's the weekend, and I just got an assignment off my back, is that not enough for a girl to be happy?" I asked.

"No." He said straight away. "Not Bella Swan."

"Well maybe this is the new Bella Swan." Again I tried to get past, but he was still filling the doorway.

"New Bella Swan, aye?" He asked, leaning against the door frame. I squeezed past him quickly. I didn't really feel like having this conversation with him. He was killing my post-coffee Edward glow.

I went to the kitchen, feeling a bit peckish. It was lunch time and I'd only had three coffees today. I was rummaging through the cupboards when I felt Jacob walk into the kitchen.

"Haven't had lunch yet?" He asked.

"No mum."

"Now Bee, don't be like that." He chastised like a mother would. "Will you make me a sandwich?" He then asked childlike. I nodded. "So how was your day, darl?" He sat down on the countertop.

"Meh. Went to my class, and then got a coffee, why are you still here?" I asked him suddenly, realising that Jacob was still here since this morning.

Now Jacob doesn't live here, but he's always never too far away.

He shrugged and said, "I was returning Alice's discount card and had nowhere to go, so I stayed. I really need a life." He rolled his eyes and picked up the catalogue that he was flicking through when I had arrived.

I decided sandwiches would be perfectly fine and so I started gathering all the stuff and making them next to Jacob's ass on the bench top.

I was just adding the top slice of bread when Jacob paused, staring at a picture of a male underwear model.

"Oh my dingleberries!" He screeched. Dingleberries? What? "Checkout boy number 3!" He screamed and I dropped the knife and grabbed the catalogue.

"Where?" All I saw was a pretty face, a toned bod and probably a stuffed pair of tighty whities. He could compete with number 3, but I'm sure hoping Edward's not stuffing socks down there.

"You got a coffee, right? On campus?" Jacob asked changing the subject so fast that I was getting whiplash.

"Yes." I said slowly, what was he getting at? I have a bad feeling that he's worked it out.

"You had coffee with checkout boy number 3!" He sung triumphantly.

"How did you work it out?" I said slamming my hand on the countertop. I had been hoping that I could've kept that secret a little longer.

"Well," Jacob sang, "Emmett told us his schedule."

"Why?"

"Alice asked, anyway, so Emmett told us his schedule, actually I think it's somewhere here." He said leaving the kitchen. I followed him out of the kitchen. He was in my living room, looking at the bookshelf.

He separated _Wuthering Heights_ and Dr Seuss' _One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue _Fish (I really should put them in some sort of order) and pulled out a yellow piece of paper. "Edward Cullen's schedule. Friday, breakfast - coffee shop, then class." Jacob read.

"What?" I snatched it out of Jacob's hand and studied the lined paper. Emmett's scrawly handwriting was on the page telling of Edward's classes and where he usually ate lunch.

"Edward's a creature of habit apparently." Jacob told me. I nodded. I did find it unusual that it even had Edward's eating schedule down to the minute.

"I thought it was weird that Alice told me to go study on Wednesday." I mumbled out loud reading that he had classes near the study centre on Wednesday. His started after mine on Wednesday, so the chances of us bumping into each other would've been high.

"Yes, you should've seen how pissed she was when you decided that you could do with a new pair of shoes." Jacob responded.

"Yea, well, my old chucks were wearing."

"I don't see why you wear them anyway." He rolled his eyes. Rosalie walked through the door and stopped dead when she saw me holding the list.

"She found the list! I told Alice not to put it near _Wuthering Heights_ she reads that book every second day!" She ranted dumping her bags on the kitchen countertop.

"I showed it to her chill, Blondie." Rose put her hands on her hips waiting to be told why. Jacob rolled his eyes, but then looked at Rosalie with a gleam in them. "She had a coffee date with number 3!"

Rose's jaw dropped, "What?" She said, excited now. "Tell me more."

"It wasn't a date."

"It was coffee?"

"Yea."

"Was it planned?" Rose interrogated, I laughed at the last question. No it definitely was not planned.

"No."

"Tell us!" She begged.

"Wait!" Jacob said holding up his hand, silencing us. "Alice." He picked up his phone.

"Hey darl, come home right now." Jacob spoke as Alice answered, "ditch the Texan and get your ass home." Alice was with Jasper. Again. Since Rose's party they'd been inseparable. I heard a car pull up in the driveway. That was quick.

The front door opened and Alice walked in trailing Jasper. "Now tell me, why did I have to rush home?" She spoke into the phone despite Jacob standing not two feet away from her.

"Bella had a coffee date with checkout boy number 3!" Jacob told his phone. They still hadn't hung up. Alice squealed and finally hung up on Jacob. Jumping, she launched herself at me.

"Tell me. Tell me. Tell me!" She repeated jumping up and down in front of me,

I sighed. "It was really just nothing. We just bumped," literally, "into each other and he decided to buy me a coffee," because I spilt mine on him, "that was all."

"So, he bought you a coffee, and what?" Alice poked.

"We just chatted, simple stuff like what we did at school." I lied.

Alice, Rosalie and Jacob all glared at me for the lack of excitement. I couldn't stand their glares so I looked away and spotted Jasper. Oh, I'd forgotten about him. I gave him a slight smile, he wasn't glaring at me, and he returned a confused one. Poor fella, I kind of feel sorry for him. If he's going to be spending a lot of time with Alice, which directly includes the rest of us, then he is going to have to be on his toes.

"Fine." Rose huffed, "So all you did was talk, are you going to talk again." She asked waggling her eyebrows.

"Well, we made no plans." My brows furrowed a little. I wasn't quite sure as to how I felt about this. Yes, of course, I would love to see Edward again, and most definitely will. But I wasn't the type of girl to get all hyped up just because a hot guy had coffee with me.

"What is that?" Jacob asked pointing between my eye brows. I stupidly scrunched them further in an attempt to see what was there. "You do want to see him again, Bella's in _luuurve._"

I swatted his hand away and eyed him evilly, "I am most definitely in love with Edward Cullen." I said adamantly, despite the suggested looks of denial of the faces of three of my friends. Even Jasper had an arched eyebrow in question.

I am definitely not in love with him.

Not even falling.

Not even a little bit.

Maybe just a tiny sexually induced crush though?

...

"Oh God. Shut up. Go away." I seethed swinging my arm wildly in the direction of my bedside table.

Thump! Ok, book's on the floor.

Bang! Phone just hit the wall, I swear to God Bella if you have to buy another phone...

Riiii-! Smack! Clang! Finally! I dropped my arm, so it now dangled over the side of the bed limply. Even my arm was too tired to get up.

It's six in the morning and I have to be at work in an hour. The rest of my body followed suit of my arm and slinked off the bed. I found my phone and pushed myself into an upright standing position and dragged myself to the bathroom.

I am a morning person, except for weekends. My body just seems to know that it's Saturday and that I want to sleep in until at least nine. But nooooo, not this morning, I have to work. Granted my job isn't horrible, but still, it's the principle of the thing!

I climbed into the shower and the hot water instantly started to wake me up. Next comes the coffee. Coffee. My lips slipped into a small smile as they thought of coffee with Edward. I should've made plans, or at least made some silly comment about doing it again minus the spillage.

Oh well, too late now! Now, from this moment in my life I vow that I will not leave anything to the last minute. So I moved my ass to eat breakfast and get to work.

I arrived at the bookstore with 5 minutes to spare. I was opening so I quickly ordered the store. Angela would be coming in around 11, so I'd be alone for the first four hours. I wouldn't be too bad. It was usually just the kids who actually did schoolwork on the weekends (I sadly fell into this category) and the old ladies that woke up at the crack of dawn to have conversations with the unknowing kids who just wanted to purchase their books and get back to their study.

But, at 11 that's when _they_ arrived.

The kids.

Elizabeth, the boss-lady, she doesn't like that name by the way, loves kids, and therefore feels the need to nurture them. She actually doesn't have kids, nor does she work on Saturdays. Probably why she loves them so.

So the store holds a kid's reading session once a month on a Saturday. They were usually around 5 and 6 and most of the time it was alright, the odd tears or wet pair of pants. I could keep them in control as most seemed to enjoy it. Lately though a little girl had joined our little sessions, and frankly she frightened me just a little.

She is 5 and her name is Tanya.

She is a good girl, don't get me wrong, she doesn't try any shit with me and that's why I'm frightened. I know this will sound horrible, but I've never really liked little kids. I have thought about teaching, but I knew I would never be able to deal with the 'littlies'; it would have to be high school for me.

Tanya is quite a manipulative little girl, but I don't think she always understand what she was doing. She is blessed with beautiful looks, long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I know it's probably a sin to be jealous of a 5 year old. She is a master of the quivering lip and watering eyes. If there is a book Tanya wanted then she will get it. If there is a game she wanted to play, we would play.

I honestly don't think she does it on purpose; it is definitely something that is ingrained in her. Her mother is one of those acrylic nails, perfect makeup and hair, high heels and business suits when everyone else is wearing sweats sort of women. She's not a bitch though, but she lets you know your place.

Man I sound like a bitch. Oh well.

It was a slow morning. Angela entered just as some of the early bird kids did. She quickly joined me and pulled out the books for the parents to sign them in. Don't want one getting away or something.

"You or me, Bella?" She asked. We always did this. Angela is quite introverted. Talking in front of the kids just scares her, whereas the kids themselves just scare me. Elizabeth doesn't know that we aren't kid people. I wonder what she'd say.

"Rock off?" I asked her and she held out her fist.

"Scissors paper rock." We both chanted.

I held out my fist as a sign of rock while she laid her palm flat, paper.

"Goddamit." I mumbled and Ang sighed in relief.

"Enjoy the kiddies, Bella." She smiled and waved.

"It's rigged anyway. What type of person would defend themselves with paper if someone threw a rock at them?" I begged. Let her cave.

She rolled her eyes, "Tis magic paper, protects thou from flying rock." She accentuated, "now go!" She laughed.

I put my 'Miss Bella' face on and smiled broadly at the 12 or so kids sitting before me.

"Hello everyone." I said in that kid voice.

"Hi Miss Bella." I liked it when they called me Miss Bella instead of Bella, gives me power.

Tanya entered then. Don't shiver, the kids will see. "Miss Bella, look what I can do." She performed a pirouette. Apparently she's been doing ballet for the last month, not that she's told me or anything – note the sarcasm.

"Very good Tanya." I smiled and internally rolled my eyes, "Now what book should we read today?"

Tanya's had shot up, "Tanya?" I asked.

"Can we read Angelina Ballerina?" She asked, "Please." She said in that sickly sweet voice.

I sighed softly and reached behind me, "Shall we read this one today guys?" I asked the group.

"Ok." The reply came from most of them. Conformists!

"Ok, _more than anything else in the world, Angelina loved to dance_." I started.

"I love to dance Miss Bella." Tanya spoke up.

"I know you do, but how about you sit down for now sweetie." She obeyed, mwhaha, I continued reading.

The book closed and I read another one. After I finished that one I didn't read another one, instead letting the kids read a book to themselves, or at least look at the pictures.

I just supervised now.

"Bella, Bella." Tanya was tugging on my pant leg, "watch me touch my toes." She bent over and touched her toes. I congratulated her. "Watch me do the splits." She did and I again congratulated her. "Can you do the splits?" She asked.

I laughed, "No, I'm not flexible."

"Did you ever do ballet, Bella?" She asked.

"I did when I was your age." I fell off the stage and broke my foot during my debut performance. I was a natural.

"So you must be flexible."

"That was a long time ago."

Great. I'm arguing with a 5 year old.

She stood there with her arms folded. I sighed and caved, "I may still be able to touch my toes." I wiggled a little bit and this caused Tanya to laugh. I bent forward and stretched towards my chucks encased feet.

I touched the tips and felt the burn in my hamstrings. Just as I was about to relieve the burn my eyes caught a bronze head, so I held the pose a bit longer

Edward?

"Wow." She awed. I know!

"Bella?" A deep voice called. Wow these kids are hitting puberty earlier and earlier. I stood up quickly, almost knocking Tanya out with my head, and spun.

Holy shit. Checkout boy number 3. Was he checking out my ass?

"Oh, hey, Edward." I blushed. I practically just presented to the man. If this was Animal Planet he would be all over me now.

He smiled, "So I," *TUG* "was," *TUG* "thinking," *TUG*. Edward hesitated looking at my arm. *TUG* What keeps doing that? I looked down. Tanya. Edward-blocked by a 5 year old!

"I see you've got your hands full." He chuckled as Tanya was actually holding my hand. "I'll see you around."

"Wait, what were you going to say?" I asked him before he had the chance to walk away. I really, really, really want to know.

"Bella, can you do the splits for me." Tanya tugged.

"Hold on sweetie." I said patiently, but if she interrupts me again I'll knock her block off.

Edward deliberated, "What time do you get off?" My mind giggled inappropriately.

"I get lunch at 12."

"10 minutes, how about we talk then?" He asked and I nodded mutely.

"Miss Bella," Tanya dragged as I watched Edward walk off into the new releases. "Please do the splits." She begged.

"Fine." I agreed.

I awkwardly split my legs, still holding myself up by my arms. I could feel my hamstrings stretching. This cannot end well.

I caught Edward between the shelves flipping through a book. Aw, he looks so cute, looking intently at the thick novel, not realising I'm watching him.

My arms wobbled and he looked up suddenly. Oh shit! My arms caved as I diverted my eyes and my legs spread a little bit further causing myself to land right on my cooter.

Ow!

"Wow Miss Bella." Tanya awed sounding impressed. A sharp, throbbing pain rushed through my right groin muscle.

Ah shit, shit, shit, motherfu-.

"Oh bye Miss Bella." Tanya said as I heard her mother call her. I tried to turn but that just caused the pain to intensify.

I looked around; most of the kids had gone. The clock said 2 minutes to 12.

I need to get up off the floor. My left leg is out in front, it's the right that's the problem. It's sticking out behind me at a strange angle. I tried to swing it around so it was out the front like the left, but the pulling, burning sensation caused me to stop.

God it sounds like the symptoms for an STD or something.

The urge to rub the painful area, in hope to ease the pain was strong. But there are only two problems. One, it was stuck underneath _me_ and two, it would look like I was rubbing myself.

Great.

Okay Bella, calm. Smile, wave at the depleting kids, there goes the last one, oh thank God.

"Ang!" I called. She rounded the teen novels and looked at me in a confused way. "I need your help."

"What happened?" She asked concerned and approached me slowly.

"Tanya happened." I grumbled quietly but she heard me anyway.

"A 5 year old forced you onto the floor with your legs open?" She asked without laughing. I was the one in pain and stuck on the floor and even I let off a little giggle.

"She asked me to do the splits."

"So you did the splits.

"She scares me." I said grumpily folding my arms over my chest.

Now she let out a small chuckle, mumbling, "Oh Bella." I just stared at her. "Ok, what do you want me to do?" She finally asked.

"Uh, maybe help me off the floor." I said a little rudely, but I was still embarrassed that I let a 5 year old talk me into this.

"How?" She asked genuinely confused.

"Well, uh," I paused and shot her an apologetic smile. How can she help me off the floor? I'd already tried to bend and move my legs, but that hurt like a bitch, maybe, "You might have to lift me."

She nodded and moved so she was in front of me. Tucking her hands under my armpits she lifted. I got some air but Ang is only as tall as me, plus I wouldn't be surprised if I'd gained a couple of pounds from all the leftover 21st cake I'd been eating lately. She couldn't get me up very far.

She lowered me back down into my position and apologised. I waved her off and she took a step back thinking.

A gleam came into her eyes and she got that 'light bulb' look on her face. "I'll be right back." She said running behind the teen novel shelves.

Ok, I'll just wait here. I folded my arms across my chest. I was just a little peeved and in a lot of pain. I used to be so flexible, why the pain now?

She returned moments later with a guy. You could say he looked familiar, if green eyes and bronze hair seem to stick in your memory.

"This is not a sex injury!" I screamed at Checkout Boy Number 3. He chuckled as I felt my mortified face grow red. I wish he would give me back my goddam verbal filter. Ever since the condom incident it's been gone. I know he's the one that has it, I just know it.

"I should hope not Bella, otherwise I would be a bit worried about you being around children." He smiled.

"I'm sorry, it just slipped out." I groaned, not looking at him.

"Would you like some help up?" He asked bending down so he could look in my eyes.

"Yes please."

Edward moved so he was standing behind me. My heart started to race as he placed his hands under my arms. I noticed that he had long fingers, maybe they'll accidently brush by my-

"So how did you get into this situation?" He asked.

"I, uh," I started distracted as he slowly started to pull me up, "was playing with one of the kids."

He chuckled a little, "wow, that's dedicated." I attempted a shrug.

My right knee was now resting on the ground. If Edward was standing in front of me I would be face to face with his crotch... or maybe the correct terminology is face to peen?

"I really enjoyed having coffee with you yesterday Bella." He told me, almost shyly. I wish I could see his face right now. I was now standing, but with Edward still holding me up.

My face felt red as I remembered, "I enjoyed it too." I turned my face to his face to see he was smiling.

"Do you think," Yes? My head begged for him to continue, "You can walk now." Oh. Stupid head. I quickly hid the disappointment in my eyes, my face was red, but I can blame that on the current situation.

"I can try." His grip on my arms relaxed, but he didn't let go, his hands hovered by my arms.

All my weight is on my left leg as it's my right groin muscle that is killing. I shifted to the right and my leg collapsed. I felt Edward's hands clamped down on my upper arms.

I gave a strange laugh, "Maybe not." My head spun as the pain shot through the hurt area.

"Bella, your face is white, let's sit down."

"Well that's different from red." My stomach rolled and my groin throbbed, "Yes, let's sit." I put my hand on the sore muscle. "I'm not touching myself," I assured him, even though he didn't look at me weirdly, "It's just sore."

"Would you mind if I took you home? You could ice it there." Edward asked.

"But, what about work?" He slung my arm around his neck and hoisted me up.

He grinned cheekily, "I'm sure Angela won't mind, especially now as she has a good story to tell everyone." I grimaced.

"Some heat might help too." I said, "Maybe some pain killers also." I added and Edward chuckled.

Edward took me home in one piece, walking still hurt but at least I wasn't even close to passing out anymore. My face was a cherry red. Lovely.

The door opened. Oh hell no! Only this shit happens to me.

"Sex injury." Emmett said in an all knowing way.

"This not a sex injury!" I screamed.

"Please, a man and a woman, woman with obvious honey hurt," Emmett started.

"Did you just call Ginny, honey?" Jacob asked.

"Ginny?" Alice and Jasper said simultaneously.

"Oh please it's better than Camilla." Rose rolled her eyes.

"Well that's not bad." Jasper spoke. He's such a quiet one.

"Camilla, Cum-illa, Cumzilla." Emmett pondered, like he didn't make that up.

"No, what and ew." I screamed point at Emmett, Jacob and Rose. "This is not a sex injury! Now I'm going to ice my groin, take some Tylenol and go to my room. Goodbye!" I tried to move. "Ow, ow, ow, help please Edward." I whined and he helped me to my room.

* * *

_**A/N Hello :) So he almost asked her out. Now he's in her room...**_

**_As always I will beg for your reviews, pleeeeeease._**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Oh God. Mm yes. That feels wonderful." I repositioned the heat pack over the sore muscles and let the warmth do its thing.

Edward chuckled beside me. Yes, he was still here. I had kind of asked him to stay and then fallen asleep on top of him before he had the chance to get away. I had taken the strongest pain meds I could find and it must've made me a little loopy. I'd only had a quick nap and I awoke to Edward staring at me. I, of course, apologised the minute I woke up.

The meds got rid of the worst pain, so now it just felt like a pulled muscle. Well I guess it already was a pulled muscle, but you get the picture. Edward suggested heat and ice. I had just done cold and all that did was freeze my crotch. Now I had just put the heat bag on and it was bliss.

Edward was looking at me funny after I'd started moaning. I suppose I should cut that out.

"Sorry." I told him when I cut of mid moan. I can't help it if it feels good. The heat makes the pain melt away. He laughed and I think my cheeks kicked into blush mode.

"Is everyone still out there?" I hadn't left this room since entering and that would've been a little over an hour ago. I know the large majority in the other room think that this is a sex injury. I don't know what's worse, the truth or the lie.

The lie lets everyone think that I'm getting laid, and if they think I'm getting laid then maybe that will convince me that I am. The truth is just downright embarrassing. Maybe I should just stick to the lie. I mean, everyone encounters a sex injury at least once in their lives, don't they? I know Rose and Emmett have. Emmett was so proud that he broke his girlfriend's wrist during the act, he even told the guy at the McDonald's drive-thru, now that's pride.

"Yes, I told them you twisted it while picking up an awkward box of books." He smiled.

"Edward, I think you're my hero." I told him. Now I don't have to confirm, nor deny, the sex theory.

"Because I got you off your crotch?" He asked and I laughed. Hmm, I wish...

He laughed too.

"Thanks for getting me up though." I told him, "I might've still been there otherwise."

"No, I'm sure Angela would've called an ambulance, or the fire brigade." He chuckled, but I didn't join in. It wasn't funny. I'd had the fire brigade called on me before. I told Edward this. I swear if he wets his pants in my bed I will make him buy me a new one.

"Bella, will you tell me please?" He asked.

"No." I'd prefer to keep all embarrassing stories and memories trapped inside my own head. I had to live through it, why relive it?

"Please?"

"No."

He grabbed my chin and turned his head towards mine. "Bella, please?" He asked looking into my eyes. His green eyes were wide and penetrating. His finger and thumb that were cupping my chin were smooth and strangely warm. His lips were together and were higher on one side creating a small smirk. "Please, Bella." He whispered again. I took a deep breath, breathing the air he had just exhaled. Wow, did his eyes just twinkle?

"I... I, uh, got stuck between the automatic doors at the supermarket when I was nine." I mumbled out dazed.

Edward's hand was still cupping my chin. He started to laugh and I shook my head. What just happened?

"What was that?" I asked him as he laughed and watched my confused state.

He shrugged, "Emmett likes to refer to it as 'dazzling'."

"What? Dazzling? Did you drug me or something?"

He laughed at this, "No, when we were in high school we just made up this technique to get girls to do practically anything for us. We called it dazzling."

"You man-whores. So, what, did you just dazzle these girls for sexual favours? And you call me a nympho, how did you do it?" I was slightly disgusted, but more amazed. I'm pretty sure my brain melted out my ears with just one look from Edward Cullen.

"Sometimes, not always sexual favours, sometimes we got girls to cover for us, when we ditched, or for homework. I didn't get girls to do my homework, because I'm the smart one." He tapped his temple like an idiot.

I laughed, but more so out of shock than disgust. "That's terrible, Edward! Girls are people too! Even if they're as petty to give in to the likes of you two and your stupid dazzling thing."

"Bella, you caved on my 'stupid dazzling thing'."

"I know that's why I'm so pissed!" It made me feel no better than the girl that probably gave Edward a blow job after a dazzling experience.

Edward laughed a little and put his arm around my shoulders and I leant into him. He smelt so good.

"If it makes you feel better it took much longer than I anticipated. I thought my charms had broken for a while there."

"Really?"

"Mhm." He smiled, what a liar.

"So, how did you two learn to dazzle?" I wonder if I can dazzle, it would be a lot more comfortable that those damn push up bras Rose makes me wear.

"It was actually Emmett who discovered the Cullen superpower." He started telling me, but I laughed, distracting him, when he called it a superpower. Oh the world would be so much better if these 'superheros' got out there and dazzled their way to world peace. He looked at me asking if I would share or not but I just shook my head.

"Anyway," he gave me a certain 'look' telling me 'no interruptions', "he liked this girl, a lot, and one day he was just looking at her and then she kissed him. He then tried it again, using his 'lovin'' feelings and she gave him a hand job."

"Emmett's such a sleaze." I said disgusted.

"He was back then, you should see the change he's made since Rosalie." I shivered, and not in the good way. Emmett's still pretty vulgar, I can't imagine what he used to be like.

"So did you contribute to this 'superpower' at all?" I asked him as so far it just seems like Emmett is the genius behind this. Wow, Emmett and genius in the same sentence really makes you check to see the world is still righted up.

"Of course I did, I invented the touching." He demonstrated by stroking his fingers along my cheek. I pulled down the sleeves on my sweater to hide the goose bumps that erupted in his fingers' wakes.

"Wow, your mother must be proud." He shifted a little at that comment. I was about to apologise, or question, or make a really bad joke, something to ease the discomfort when the door opened.

"We ordered pizza if you guys want to join." Alice said.

"I could always eat." Edward said returning to himself in an instant. I nodded and he helped me off the bed. I limped to the living room and we all ate.

Everyone was there, and happy, even Edward. I'd seen his mood swing so fast that I think I got whiplash. He was laughing and joking with everyone. I just didn't get it. I'd said something about his mother. I knew she was alive and well, so I don't know why he got that look in his eyes. But then again, it wasn't a sad, dead look, it was more like disappointment. I had said something about pride...

"Bella..." my head snapped up at the call of my name. "Superglued her hand to her maths text book. Mr Varner was so proud." I blushed, must be 'tell stories about Bella' day. To be fair though, it was clear superglue and it was fast drying. Alice shouldn't tell stories about me, she's got some fashion faux pas under her belt that I'm sure she'd like me to keep disclosed.

"I always really hated maths in school." I added. I shrugged at my screaming subconscious, which was yelling, 'No, don't add fuel to their fire!' but, meh, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Edward caught my eyes. He had a weird glint in his. I'm sure I'll get some shit over that later.

We ended up watching a movie after pizza, Blades of Glory, because that movie is just epic. Jacob said he wanted to become a ice skater, Emmett said he would be his partner as long as he was the one that did the flip thing in the air, risking his throat, Jacob reconsidered. Jacob then went on to say something about getting someone else to be his 'partner'. Alice, Rose and I all looked at him when he said that. The double meaning he was emitting was strong. Jacob ignored us, hmm...

Edward helped me back into my room after the movie. I took some Tylenol, just in case I decided to flop around in the middle of the night, or something.

"Bella, you can contact me if you need help." Edward told me.

"Even if I have to pee in the middle of the night?" I joked.

"Only if you get desperate, but I'm pretty sure Alice or Rosalie could help you with that." He laughed.

I tried to be shocked, "and deny you the pleasure." He just shook his head.

"Alright, I better," he started to head out of my bedroom. I had just grabbed my pj's out of my dresser and I started to hobble over to the bed. I could make it that far without keeling over. I had stopped mid hobble as Edward had stopped mid goodbye.

"Edward?"

"Can I ask you something Bella?" He asked. I wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but his face was worrying, nervous.

"Sure." He took a step closer.

"Can we... do you want to go... out sometime... with me?" He asked. He ran a hand through his messy hair, making it stand up even more.

"Like on a date?" I smiled. Yes, yes, yes, my head chanted.

"Yea." He answered and my mind did a back flip.

I tried to take a step forward but my muscles twinged, so I could say yes. I frowned.

"No." My mouth said.

"Oh." I watched Edward, he was uncomfortable now, "oh, that's ok, I just, never mind, I'll be going now." He rambled.

Oh shit.

"No, Edward wait." Shit! I tried to chase after him, forgetting my injury, but of course said injury made itself known and an impediment.

I limped and fought and then finally I started to tumble. "Edward, stop, ah, shit, stop, fuck." I didn't hit the floor. Edward had caught me clumsily. One hand catching me across the chest, accidently grabbing my boob – I blushed at this – the other missing my front all together and grabbing the back of my shirt.

I heard him sigh and lift me up and help me back into my bedroom.

"Edward, I can explain..." He cut me off though.

"No Bella, it's perfectly fine." I think I heard him mumble something about misreading signals. Was I giving him signals? I blushed a little. He sat me down on the bed and went to leave again.

"Edward, stop,"

"No, Bella, don't," I cut him off.

"Edward, shut up and let me explain." God damn this man was infuriating. "Now come sit next to me." I patted the mattress next to me and he hesitantly walked over and sat next to me.

Not close, like we had been earlier in the evening, we were practically on opposite ends of the bed. So I turned, as much as I could, to face him.

"Remember yesterday when we had coffee we talked about how I lacked some sort of verbal filter whenever I am around you?" He nodded. I took a deep breath and continued, "Well that's kind of what just happened here."

"Your verbal filter broke down." He asked confused.

"Well, yes, but not what you think, a no kind of no, it was more like a yes kinda nooo, you know?" I asked him.

"No." Ah, shit, I wasn't making myself clear. Fix this Bella.

"Ok." I breathed, "Yes. Ok. So my mind was screaming yes. Yes Edward I would love to go out on a date with you."

"Ok." He still seemed confused. Ten bucks he's reconsidering the offer with the crazy chick.

"But, I said no, my groin said no, no that doesn't sound right. Um," I paused, I need clearer thoughts, "basically I said no because I don't want to go on a date with my current injury, but it just didn't come out like that. I didn't want I to come out like that. I should've said yes, but then I probably would've said yes to like a date tomorrow night and I don't want to have this problem when I'm on a date with you. Inner filter and all..." I trailed off, looking up at Edward.

He continued to stare at me. I was doing my own head in, poor Edward's brain must've exploded long before now.

"Not that I expect anything to happen on the first date, like my inner nympho coming out, but I don't want to be a liability. I'd at least like to be able to walk without hanging off of you." I'd said the two parts extremely fast. I gave a shaky laugh, "I guess you would like to retract your offer now?"

"Why would I want to do that?" He asked me.

"Because I'm utterly psychotic. I should be institutionalised." I groaned and he slid closer to me on the bed.

He let out a slight chuckle before taking my hand, "How about I try this again?" I looked up at him shocked. "Bella, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I'm crazy, remember?" He smiled at me.

"Maybe I like crazy."

"Maybe you should be institutionalised." He laughed, but rolled his eyes.

"Is this your other way of turning me down?"

"No."

"Then do I have to ask you again? There are only so many things a man's ego can take." He laughed and I looked at him confused. "Bella!" He whined dragging out the last syllable.

"Yes Edward, I would love to go on a date with you." He sighed, "But I still don't see why..."

He cut me off, "Bella, would you just shut up. Maybe I just want to get to know you, maybe I find you intriguing, and incredibly beautiful, isn't that enough?" He whined.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked him, "Even with ratty sweats, groin injury and goggles?" I pointed over to my glasses that he's seen me in that first morning.

"Are you seriously trying to talk me out of going on a date with you?" He asked raising an eyebrow. I copied his facial expression. Why was I trying to talk him out of this? I dunno, but shut your gob Bella!

"Oh, shit, don't listen to a word I just said." He just laughed at my realisation.

"What'd you say?"

"Exactly." I smiled and he mimicked the expression.

"I really should go now though Bella." He said getting up off the bed. "You should get some rest, fix your groin so we can go out." He laughed and I joined in with him, even though it was at my own expense.

"We can hang out though, while I recuperate, maybe?" I asked him, shy now, not crazy.

"Sure, I told you, you can call me if you need me." He said sincerely.

"Like if I need to pee at midnight?" I asked him, trying to pull off a serious face. I started to crack when his face passed between supportive and just grossed out, "I'm joking." We both laughed and he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Bella, you need sleep."

"Goodnight Edward." I said and he left.

I changed into my sweats and got into bed.

I have a date with Edward Cullen!

My inner high schooler squealed, my outer 20 year old did too. Just a little bit.

I rolled over carefully, trying to get comfortable so I could sleep. I was tired, but I was too excited.

I needed to tell someone.

I needed Rose and Alice.

I flung back the bed covers and started swinging my legs out of bed. I felt the muscle begin to twinge and immediately stopped. I sat on the bed annoyed and frustrated.

Would it be too much to call Edward so he can help me gossip about him with Alice and Rose? Maybe? He did say anything. I couldn't call him, _but_ I could call Alice and Rose.

I reached for my phone on my bedside table, got comfortable and dialled Alice. I hadn't rung Alice or Rose with gossip about a guy since senior year, probably because they're next door now.

The phone rang twice before Alice answered.

"Bella? Rose and I have already discussed, we are not helping you go to the bathroom. You can crawl."

I rolled my eyes, "Alice, that's not why I rang you."

"So..." She prompted.

"Get Rose on the phone." I told her. I suppose I could've asked her to come into my room with Rose, but this is just so much cooler! Haha, erm, anyway...

"Bells, you're on speaker." Rose said.

"Edward Cullen asked me out on a date!" I squealed, which caused Rose and Alice to squeal. It was weird hearing it both on the phone and in the next room.

"Oh my God, details!" Alice ordered and I told them both everything, even about me saying no.

"I cannot believe you would say no to that man." Rose said. I cringed. It was pretty horrific on my part.

"It's not like I meant to say no, it sort of just slipped out, and then after I'd said it he was out of her so fast that I hardly had time to correct myself."

"Bella," Alice cut in, "We are going to have to work on your people skills. You lack them even more than your fashion sense." I rolled my eyes, I didn't dress _that_ bad when I tried.

"What can I say, I'm a product of Charlie." My father could probably become a monk, because they don't talk... and neither does he.

"Bella, that just sounded... wrong." Rose said. I shook my head, such a gutter ball mind.

Alice squealed again, "Bella, I'm so proud of you!" This confused me.

"Why?"

"Because you have a date with Edward!" I waited, "You were obviously giving off the right signals." There someone goes with the signal thing again. Edward had said it, now Alice. I wonder what they are. I hope my awkwardness isn't what Edward perceives to be as signals. I'm like this. All the time.

Rose inhaled quickly, "Bella, you know what this means?"

"Uh, no." I approached cautiously a little scared by Rose's enthusiasm,

"Bella," she said very seriously, "we need to go shopping."

"No, my clothes are fine."

"No, they seriously are not." Alice said.

"But, groin injury, can't go on, seeing the light, do it for me!" I do not want to shop.

If I could see Alice and Rose right now I bet they would've just rolled they eyes simultaneously.

"Hm, we'll work something out." Alice said.

"But for now Bella, goodnight," Rose said, "you need to fix that groin so you can use it with Edward."

She would've winked.

I groaned and hung up.

* * *

_**A/N Bella is an idiot, yes? Turning down Edward. Hey, if she doesn't want him, I'll take him. Anyone else want a piece of E?**_

_**Review if you want something really exciting in the next chapter! Mwhaha.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Why are we here?" I asked. I was out with Jasper and Emmett. Why? Good question, we sad suckers were just sitting at home alone when Emmett said,

"Hey let's go out." So we did. Now I am staring at those stupid large white letters with that stupid star acting as a hyphen.

I am under attack.

Both men ignored me. Idiots, this will only make it worse for them.

"I repeat, why am I here?" I asked them.

"We're conducting an intervention." Emmett smiled and I crossed my arms and prayed that my seat belt was jammed.

"Bella," Jasper spoke. He was increasingly spending more time at our house. "You're better, go and speak to Edward, I saw you scissor kick over the couch to watch Grey's, I think you're all better." So of course he'd seen that.

"Yeah, well it was a short ad break and McDreamy was about to die." I mumbled. It was worth risking the injury again. Earlier in the week I'd tried the same thing, but my muscle went into relapse, this time it didn't.

But I still hadn't told Edward. We have talked during the week, texts, and met up on campus a couple of times, but only for quick periods of time. I worked, he worked, and we both had study to do as well. And besides it isn't really something I want to say in a text.

**My crotch is fine, can we date now? Xoxo**

Yea, that just doesn't have the finesse I was looking for.

"You know Edward hasn't brought it up again, maybe he's reconsidered." I wondered out loud, but on purpose. I needed a guy's perspective.

"Maybe he's just as nervous as you are B." Emmett spoke up. I eyed him wearily. Edward is his brother, I wonder if he has the inside scope. Emmett held his hands up in a sign of surrender so I relented from my eye glare.

"Bella, he is willing to bat." Jasper said.

"And you can't sit on the bench forever you know." Emmett added.

"Yeah, you've got to get out onto the field." Jasper continued. I wonder if they've got this rehearsed.

"Now Bella," Emmett looked at me in the rear view mirror, "get out of the car." I looked at him shocked. We were idling just outside the entrance to Wal-Mart in the middle of the parking lot.

A car horn honked behind me and I scrambled out, not wanting to start a riot. "We'll be circling." Emmett smiled and drove off. I watched them drive away. Jerks. I was going to talk to Edward, I swear, but this just seems... staged.

Because that is exactly what it is.

I slowly dragged my feet into Wal-Mart. I stood just inside. Ok, so I'm a little (a lot) nervous. I walked past the checkouts looking for him. I neared the end and doubled back. Where was he? I walked up and down a couple more times. The store was pretty empty, so it's not as if he's standing right there and I just can't see him.

I was starting to see the flaw in Emmett and Jasper's plan. He wasn't here.

"Can I help you ma'am?" I frowned a little on the ma'am, but let the oily teen help me.

"Do you know if Edward Cullen is on today?" 'On today?' Bella, are you trying to be hip? Oh, and Edward Cullen is always on, my brain winked. Strange huh?

"I'm sorry ma'am," cringe again, "he just left, short shift." The kid laughed awkwardly. I smiled at him strangely. He stopped his awkward, high pitch laugh and walked away.

I walked outside and waited for the Jeep to roll around. I could see Emmett singing animatedly. I climbed in when Jasper pulled up to the curb.

"_You're his one love, his one heart, his one life fo sho._" Emmett sung wildly.

Jasper leaned back, "He's been doing it ever since you got out of the car." He cringed. I wasn't a fan of the song either. "How did it go?" Jasper asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"He wasn't there. He finished early." I told him and he threw me a sympathetic look. Emmett on the other hand stopped signing. Thankfully!

"He wasn't there!" I shook my head. "Aw, crap, sorry B." He sighed. I patted his arm, I didn't know why he was so disappointed. I will just talk to Edward at school, like I'd planned earlier.

We rode back in silence, until... "Oh my God. Stop the car!" Emmett yelled that out.

I freaked out and braced for the brake slam that I would've done if I'd been driving. Jasper though calmly pulled over to the side of the road.

"What the hell Em?" I screeched, embarrassed at my reaction.

"I got an idea, see you two at home." He jumped out of the car. Yes, just got out and started walking back, no explanation, nothing.

"How do you handle being friends with him?" I asked Jasper.

Jasper laughed as he pulled back onto the road, "eh, he has his good moments."

...

"You bought a dog?" It was Jacob that had said it, not me, but I was thinking the exact same thing.

Emmett had just walked through the door carrying a little white bundle of fur, we thought nothing of it until it barked. Jasper and I hadn't seen him in for about four hours, not unusual according to Jasper, but I'd bet my bank account he's never done this before.

"It's so cute!" Alice swooped right away snatching the dog from Emmet's grip with the power of a sumo wrestler.

"Emmett, this isn't my anniversary present, is it?" Rose asked flat out. It was her and Em's 3 year anniversary next week and she'd been worrying about his gift. I would be too if my boyfriend got me sock puppets one year.

"Pft, no, I got you something way better this year." He said with confidence. That just made Rose squirm a little more. Honestly, if she could I think she'd just accept the dog.

"So, what is it?" I asked and everyone gave me a strange look. I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean, what breed?" I approached the dog in Alice's arms apprehensively.

"He's a Samoyed" Emmet told us proudly.

I nodded, "He?"

"Yeah, why did you think I'd bring home a bitch?" Rose promptly whacked him hard across the back of the head.

"Ouch, sorry Rosie." He said softly. "His name's Stanley." I took Stanley out of Alice's arms and held him up inspecting his undersides.

Maybe there's a nympho in me after all.

No, but really I was just checking to see if Stanley was in fact a Stanley. It would just be like Emmett to bring home a Stella instead. Upon seeing Stanley's _manhood_ I lowered the dog. He looked at me in a cute little way and I think I just 'awwed' a little on the inside.

"He is sort of cute." I said.

"Cute! He's adorable." Alice went for me trying to take him back. I spun. I wasn't done yet. Jacob was standing behind me and when I spun he stumbled back ungracefully. His face was all contorted like he'd spotted something horrible.

"What's wrong Jacob?" I asked him as I took a step forward. He took a step back, so I took another one forward which resulted in him taking another step back.

"I do not like dogs." He said sternly. His face filled with pure horror.

"What do you mean you don't like dogs?" Rose asked moving to stand next to me. She patted Stanley's little head and he looked up at the two of us. My God I think he's smiling.

"Look, I just don't like them. Just a traumatic childhood experience that you will never find out about, ok!" He hissed, "Stop advancing on me." I stopped and Rose looked at me.

"What experience?" I asked.

"Not telling."

I put Stanley on the ground and he wandered around sniffing at stuff. People always say that dogs can smell fear, or was that babies, oh never mind, because it must be dogs as Stanley sniffed his way over to where Jacob was standing. Jacob kept walking back and Stanley kept going forward until Jacob fell backwards over the coffee table.

Hm, guess Jacob doesn't like dogs. Rose picked Stan up tentatively. "I'm outta here." Jacob said scrambling off the ground and leaving in a hurry.

"Where've you been Emmett?" I asked him.

"And what possessed you to buy a dog?" Jasper added.

"I've always wanted a beast." Emmett told us, we all looked at the dog in Rose's arms, "don't worry, he will be." Yeah... "Hey Bella, can you watch him next Friday night?" Emmett asked.

"Why?" I asked him. I only had a class in the morning, so I could dogwatch, but I was curious.

"Hey Rosie, will you go out on a date with me on Friday?" Emmett asked Rose and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course Em." I laughed at Rose, she was so smitten with Lil' Stan. Emmett smiled at me.

"I'll dogwatch."

...

"No stupid, you don't go into the attic, you're home alone!" I screamed at the blonde bitch on the screen. I'm dog watching at Emmett's and I stupidly decided to watch Nightmare on Elm Street. A horror, alone, and yes, I'm shitting my pants.

She'd just ascended the rickety attic stairs with a torch and turned on a flickering single bulb light and started going through dusty old boxes. This bitch is gonna die. If only she's listen to me and get the fuck out of there. I don't know if my heart will make it.

"You pull out a ripped dress and you decide to stay and explore!" I'd be running for the hills by now.

I have a problem. Well, many problems, but that's beside the point. I just so happen to talk to the idiotic characters in horror films that decide to so stupid things. They never listen to me. Idiots.

The flickering light gave its last flicker. "Run, blondie, run!" I screamed at her. But does she run. Noooo. She decides to point the flimsy flash light into the ominous dark and wait for her death. What an idiot.

The music started to get creepier and I pulled the blanket higher up. The torch turned off. The torch turned on. Freddy fucking Kruger with his burnt face and Edward Scissorhands fingers jumps out of fucking nowhere.

The real life front door banged open and I screamed with all I had.

"Stanley go." I threw the half asleep dog off my lap and after Freddy.

Stanley had been sleeping but when I screamed he had lifted a lazy head to see what all the commotion was about. So when I had thrown him off my lap he worked to get his legs moving but still practically slid across the hardwood floors and into Emmett's CD rack.

I'll deal with Stan later, that is if I survive Freddy. Freddy flipped the lights on and stood with his hands up. My eyes adjusted to the light and I realised that it wasn't Freddy.

Checkout Boy Number 3.

While my heart returned to a normal pace Edward didn't move.

"Sorry," I squeaked and he lowered his hands a little.

"Holy shit Bella, are you ok? You screamed as if I was an axe murderer." He said, picking up the confused Stanley and approaching me cautiously.

My heart was slowly returning to a normal heart rate. My hand was over my chest monitoring the pace. I paused the DVD.

"You weren't an axe murderer. I thought you were Freddy Kruger." I patted the spot next to me and he sat down.

"Uh, thanks?" He laughed and I slapped his arm.

"It's not funny, I thought I was going to die." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leant into him. Ah, Edward. I could smell him. He always smells amazing. I wish I knew what it was so I could bottle it up.

"I could see you really feared for your life. Poor Stanley didn't know what to do though." He laughed. I stretched my arm out and rubbed Stan's head.

"He's just not an attack dog." He'd fallen back into a slumber. Lucky, I'm sure my dreams tonight will be interesting. "What are you doing here?" I asked Edward lazily. I didn't mind him being here. Well, maybe an entrance at a less scary time would've been nice, but still no complaints.

I watched as he patted Stan gently. It was quiet sweet. "Well Emmett has a washing machine,"

"Wow." I cut in.

Edward chuckled, "Yeah, I know, he doesn't like the communal ones. He said I could use it whenever. I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't think anyone was home. Do you mind that I'm here?" He asked with a humorous tone. My face was buried in his chest and my hand was clutching his shirt.

I shook my head, "No, but I wished you picked a better entrance time."

"What are you watching?" he asked.

"Nightmare on Elm Street," I answered looking up. "It's scary and the characters are idiots."

"Do you want to continue watching it?" He asked.

No, no, no, no, no, "Ok." Bella, you are no better than the dead chick in the movie, "will you watch it with me?"

"Sure." He smiled and pulled the blanket over so it covered him too. I scoffed at him but pressed play.

So... I jumped a lot and somehow ended up in Edward's lap. Not that I complained, it was a scary movie. Edward didn't seem to mind either. Every time I jumped he hugged me closer. I like to think that he was frightened too, but I'm sure he was just comforting me, which is also a fabulous explanation.

Finally the movie started to end. I'm sure my heart beat a lifetime's worth of beats, so I was glad. As they killed Freddy and got loaded into the ambulance I relaxed and sat up a little bit straighter in Edward's lap, as I didn't have to hide under the blanket now that it was ending.

I watched as the girl and her mother were being all loving and happy after their traumatic experience. I then watched as Freddy Kruger came screaming, unpredictably through the mirror ripping the girl's mother into a bloody massacre.

I screamed like a little girl and jumped so high I went through the roof. Well, not the roof, but I definitely hit Edward's jaw. I heard his teeth knock together.

I turned my head. "Sorry, are your teeth ok, I wasn't expecting" Edward's hand clamped over my mouth, "mhat" I tried.

"Are you trying to apologise Bella?" He asked with a semi serious expression. I nodded as his hand was still covering my mouth and I don't know how much I would get out before his hand is all slobbered up. "Didn't we agree on no more apologising?" He asked. I just shrugged. He removed his hand from my mouth.

I know that I wanted to apologise again. It was just ingrained in me. Do something, anything really, say sorry. Edward knew this also. So we stared at each other.

Edward's eyes were determined and I hoped mine held the same determination. I was still sitting on his lap and as I considered getting off (his lap of course, like sitting next to him, geez) he pulled me a little bit closer. His eyes weren't so determined now, now they held a little unsureness. We were so close that I could feel him breathing on me, emitting his Edward scent.

It was intoxicating. I leant in and so did he. Our noses were touching. Edward tilted his head ever so slightly and then I dove. I crossed the extra mile and touched my lips to his. An electric spark passed between us and I slowly started moving my lips against his. If Edward smelled amazing, then Edward's taste was better. What's better than amazing? Edward's lips. My lips parted and Edward's tongue met mine. That spark occurred again and the feel of Edward's tongue on mine caused a deep, throaty moan. This seemed to egg Edward on. His hand moved from my back to my hair, twisting and tangling itself in my haystack. I did the same and ran my fingers through Edward's silky confusion. My heart was about to arrest and my lungs were about to collapse, but nothing could pull me away from Edward's lips...

Except maybe Emmett...

And Rosalie, who were practically stripping their clothes off as they come through the door. Edward and I both pulled away, heaving, and looked at the door. Rose caught us, me straddling Edward, on the couch, making out like horny teenagers. She tried to pull Emmett's head away from her neck, but she realised that it was a lost cause. I scrambled off of Edward's lap and he then stood up and joined me in the 'what do we do now' stance.

"Emmett," Rose tried, "babe." She said tugging on Emmett's head. He took his mouth off of Rose's neck and said,

"Whoops." He obviously hadn't noticed anything. "Thanks for dog sitting B," he hoisted Rose over his shoulder, "make sure you two lock the door on the way out."

Edward and I both laughed. Rose was protesting slightly but eventually gave in, "you will tell me everything tomorrow Bella!" She then squealed. I'm not sure whether or not I'll ever see her again.

"I say we head out?" Edward asked.

"Yes, before the moaning starts." Sadly, I'm talking from experience.

I did, as per Emmett's request, lock the door. Edward and I stood outside the door uncomfortably for about two seconds before he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled my body into his. He was smiling goofily and I think, judging by the pulling of my lips, I was too.

"So," Edward started, chuckling a little, "I noticed your muscle seemed a little better." I blushed slightly but nodded. It was no longer sore or caused me to walk with a limp, but overall I don't think I'll be attempting the splits anytime soon.

"So, can I take you out tomorrow night?" Edward asked, completely confident. Cocky man, gets a little lip and he's on top of the world.

My brain snorted at me, 'Pu-leeese B,' because my subconscious always talks like that, 'you're higher than the graduation after party.'

"Edward, I would love to." I grinned as he walked me to my truck.

* * *

_**A/N ...**_

_**I saw Eclipse! It's my fave book out of the series and I'm pretty sure it's the best movie out of the three of them.**_

_**Won't spoil it for anyone, but if you haven't seen it, seriously, get out, go see it.**_

_**REVIEW! What did you love about the movie, what did you hate?**_

_**REVIEW! What about this chapter, E&B's lil' kissing sesh, and date suggestions, I do have an idea, but I'd like to know what you guys think.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Can I get two quarter pounders with," Edward looked at me for a second before nodding and adding, "cokes."

We were at the McDonalds drive-thru.

Earlier I had received a text from Edward.

**Don't wear a dress. E**

"Alice, what do you think this means?" I asked her after I read the text. I handed her my phone and she too looked at it confused.

"I, uh," Alice was stumped, "I assume it means he doesn't want you to wear a dress." Edward wouldn't tell me where we were going tonight. Still, as he rounded the corner into the drive-thru he refused to confess where we were going. It was getting on my nerves, just a little.

Shortly after the first text I received a second.

**Seriously. You don't want to. E **

Alice had been reading over my shoulder as it came through.

"Hm," she tapped her chin in thought, "I wonder where you're going." I didn't know. I had no clues! I didn't like the feeling of no control.

The only clue, as I deemed it to be, was that I needed clothing with a crotch.

"Well, obviously not out to dinner." I had said to Alice. "Maybe bungee jumping," guessing was not above me. I had been spitting out possibilities to Edward all the way to Micky D's.

Of course I didn't know if it was possible to actually bungee jump in the city, but I know I wouldn't want to wear a dress while doing that. Alice had just given me a strange look when I suggested that. I shrugged it off. I think it was because she was trying to work out if it was even possible to bungee jump in the city. I don't think it is, but maybe Edward found a way, who knows.

"Hm, I don't think so Bella." Alice had said. "I'm pretty Edward wouldn't push you off a high platform on your first date. He may want a second, you know." She teased. I just rolled my eyes. It would be just like me to die on a first date.

"Ok, so no bungee jumping," I concluded and Alice agreed, nodding. "But, where Ali? This has been bugging me. Not even a hint." I grumped.

Alice didn't answer straight away. She absently twirled her short hair around her fingers. "I think it's cute." She said finally. I gawped at her. _She_ thought it was _cute_! Alice, _the_ Alice Brandon thought the complete lack of foresight and giving all power over to man was _cute_! Holy crap. Alice has been abducted.

"What!" I squeaked out of complete and utter shock. I was totally speechless, gobsmacked, if you will.

"Yes, cute." She gave me a pointed look. "He's showing you the real him, he's not trying to be some pretentious snob who thinks he is going to win your heart by taking you to an overly expensive restaurant." Alice ranted slightly. While she was ignoring her feelings for Jasper, Alice had had numerous disastrous dates, but that's a story for another day.

I reconsidered Alice's words as we had neared the drive-thru. It is nice to be wined and dined every once in a while, but if it is a choice between Edward taking me out in a designer dress to eat lobster and Edward showing me the real him, quarter pounders and chucks, then I pick the latter.

Yes, Edward had rocked up at my door, promptly, sporting a worn pair of black converse, similar to the ones I was wearing. Rose and Alice interrogated like a father would when his little girl goes out with a strange boy, except their questions were a little different to the ones Charlie would've given.

"What are your intentions with our Bella, number 11?" Rose asked sternly.

"Number 11?" Edward asked and I blushed red. He looked at me so I looked at Alice, who was snickering.

"Just answer the question." Rose said, her resolve fading as her lips twitched.

"Oh, uh, ok," he looked at Rose and asked slowly, "to look after her tonight?" Rose looked him down. Edward smiled slightly, "to show her a good time." He told Rose slipping a side wink at me. Alice broke into giggles and Rose launched herself at Edward.

Hugging him she whispered, "You better, if she tells me that you're not giving her,"

"Hey! Let's go. Now!" I jumped off of the couch and started dragging Edward to the door before Rose could start giving him sex tips to please me with.

"So, where are we going tonight?" I had asked him again for the millionth time. How was he so stubborn?

"Not telling." He grinned as he led me over to his... *giggle*... *snigger*... wait for it... VOLVO! Old, creaky, soccer mom, honour roll student, box on wheels VOLVO!

"What is that?" I asked him as he put the key in the door to unlock it and then led me around to the other side so he could unlock the passenger door and chivalrously hold the door open for me while I got in.

"My car." He said before he closed the door.

"Edward!" I mocked him, "you didn't tell me you had such a classy ride." He made his way around to the driver's side and got in.

He turned and said to me, "Bella, don't judge her. Especially when you drive that monstrosity." He looked over his shoulder at my truck which was parked in the driveway.

"That truck has served me faithfully since I was sixteen, thank you very much. And it's a lot better than... wait, did you just say _she_?" I laughed.

"Yes, she, because she purrs." He looked at me, almost seductively. I think he was attempting dazzling, but his laughter caused it to fail.

So I laughed too. "Wrong reaction Bella."

Edward passed me the brown bag, breaking me from my thoughts. I passed him one of the fries and he placed it between his thighs and began eating.

To be one of those fries...

I flushed and started digging through the bag for a burger. I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat fries again after seeing _that_. I took a bite of the pounder and moaned a little. Edward really knows how to pick my meals. And I was hungry. I caught Edward out of the corner of my eye watching me as I devoured the burger.

I chewed quickly, but still kind of spoke with my mouth full. "You weally know 'ow to tweat a," I swallowed, "girl, Cullen."

He smiled widely, showing me his chewed up fries. I rolled my eyes disgusted. He at least swallowed before telling me, "No Bella, I pulled out all the special things just for you." He laughed.

"I've never had a boy take me to McDonalds." I told him seriously. He smiled as he rounded the corner.

"Well, I'm glad I can be your first."

I laughed, "You know most guys pull out all the stops to try to impress a girl, like expensive restaurants,"

"Night time cruises, tickets to the opera." He looked at me pointedly.

"Yes, are you experienced in the buttering of women?" I asked him.

My words sounded awkward but he answered seriously anyway. "You could say that." Emmett telling us about Edward's past girlfriend flittered to the front of my mind, but I quickly pushed it back down.

He pulled into a parking space. "I'm glad you're not trying to impress me. It impresses me that you aren't trying to impress me, does that make sense?"

"In a twisted world, it does." He _smiled_.

I then looked around. "Oh wow God." I said. I then blushed. I had tried to say wow and oh my god at once. Edward just laughed. I looked up at the big white pin. "I haven't done this since I lived with my mum. I'll tell you now, I am very good."

"Is that so?" He said like he didn't believe me. I know it would seem like slippery shoes on a polished surface, plus me, just don't click. But really, somehow - I must have superpowers or something - I am just that pro.

"I've never been taken to a bowling alley on a date either." I told Edward.

"Miss Swan, you've been deprived!" He said with mock aghast. "Well, I've never taken a girl to a bowling alley either." He then told me softly. I felt as if he almost felt embarrassed by it. I smiled up at him as he paid. It was adorable that he was nervous about this.

I'm surprised that he could pick me so well in such the short time we've spent together. It made me nervous. I really like Edward and I do not want to mess this up. So far though we have done nothing in a conventional way, so that makes me a little more confident. I can't see the familiar pattern that normally happens with other guys, again though this makes the nerves kick in.

I collected my shoes and put them on, glad that I had worn sneakers and not heels or flats like Alice had tried to get me in. I was not putting my foot in a communal shoe unprotected. We went to the lane.

"Would you like to go first?" Edward asked and I pondered this. I am seriously not messing with you when I say I am a fantastic bowler.

"No, you should go first." I eventually told him and he entered our names into the system. Edward's came up as Edwar. "Why didn't you just out in Ed, or Eddie?" I giggled as he gave me a stony look when I suggested the names.

"I don't like them. Emmett tries to call me Eddie all the time." He told me and I laughed instead of supporting him. Oh well. He rolled his eyes at my giggle fit, "guess I'm up." He went and bowled.

Edward bowled very smoothly. He lined it up and hunched forward to release the ball, giving me an excellent view of his ass. I'm so glad I chose the seat I did. It lined up perfectly with his behind.

I hadn't even noticed when he turned around, hands in the air, celebrating his success. I looked at the scoreboard. He had knocked down 8 pins on his first bowl. I looked down the lane. Yep. Two left, but they were a slipt, there was no way he was going to get them. Edward was looking at me smugly. I think he caught me at pervfest '10.

I rolled my eyes and diverted my gaze from his eyes as I tried to rein in the redness in my cheeks. "Whoop dee doo Ed," I eyed him and he frowned at me playfully, "now go and knock down those two." He picked up a ball. Aimed, _bent_ and bowled. I quickly wiped the drool from my chin as he walked back to sit next to me and watch his ball gracefully sail right between the two pins, not even getting close to either of them.

"Your turn Izzy." I cringed at the name he had given me. Izzy. Ew. I stood up and walked over to grab a ball, almost tripping over a long shoe lace on my way. I tucked it into my shoe, grabbed a bright yellow ball and smiled sweetly at Edward.

I faced the lane, walked slowly, but purposefully toward the line, swung my arm back and released on the forward swing. The ball connected with the lane smoothly, not jumping or anything and rolled in a perfect straight line right down the centre. It knocked over all ten pins. I smiled smugly and then turned around to face Edward who was sitting there with his mouth unhinged.

I don't think he actually believed that I could do it.

I don't bluff about bowling.

I walked back over to Edward and softly pushed on his lower jaw closing it. "Your turn Edward." I laughed as he numbly got up and went to bowl. I think the shock of me getting a strike first go was still with him because he was not smooth this time. And, to my disappointment, he didn't crouch. This caused the ball to bounce down the lane and almost jump into the one next to us.

Thank God for gutters, otherwise I'm sure the old bowling ladies, pink jackets and all, that owned that lane would've had a field day.

He got none.

I chose not to tease him as he grabbed another ball. This time, thankfully, he did bend and knock over a good six. It was better than none I suppose. He sat down next to me huffing. I kissed him on the cheek and got up to take my turn. I got nine this time. Edward seemed to smile at this, so I released my next ball blindly. I reasoned to Edward that the first two were lucky shots, but really I was helping the man's ego. I really didn't want any long term damage to something that might be useful to me in the future.

We continued to bowl. I was always just that step ahead of him. On my second last turn, just as I was about to step forward and swing back, I felt someone behind me. Someone, of course, was Edward. He placed his hands on my hips and held me there. His cheek was touching my cheek.

He whispered into my ear. "Bella, I do believe you are drawing a crowd." His voice was low and husky. I tightened my grip on the ball (the bowling ball) because I didn't want to drop it on his foot. My limbs had become jelly like. Damn him and his sex voice in public.

"W-what?" I finally got out.

"There's a large bowling team of 14 year old boys over there who are watching your bowling skills, or more specifically, your ass." He chuckled, his warm breath dancing across my cheek. I resisted the urge to turn my mouth into his. That would be giving the bowling team a show. I grimaced, thinking of their reaction. I grinned, thinking of Edward's.

"How do you know they're staring at my ass, Edward?" I asked, in what I hoped to be, a quite innocent voice.

"Well," he laughed, "one had their jaws dropped down so wide that his retainer fell out of his mouth. I just followed his line of sight." Of course. Edward is the perfect gentleman. He wouldn't dare to look at my behind. Just like I wouldn't look at his, right?

"Now, he's dejectedly picked up his retainer and put it back in his mouth." Edward told me.

"Where are they?" I asked Edward.

"He's in the far lane, don't look." Edward ordered but it was too late. I turned my head to see the minor looking at me. I smiled at him; does that make me a cougar? I quickly disengaged myself from Edward and took my turn. Strike! I looked back at the kid. His ball was now slowly making its way down the lane in the gutter. Sad thing was, he hadn't even realised.

I turned around and made my way back to Edward. "You're flirting with a kid Bella, nothing to be proud of."

"Excuse me, look," I pointed to the end where there were no standing pins, "all gone." Edward got up to take his last bowl. Ah, bend and swing.

Whoa.

He jumped, excited.

He turned around _smiling_. "Bella, all gone!" He cheered and I stood, excited for him. He hugged me. The excitement and pride of getting his first strike this evening was all expressed in that hug. It was the strangest, warmest, best hug of my entire life. And it was all because some pins fell down.

"Edward," I laughed giddily, "you get another go." The _smile_ lit up his face. He let go of me and pick up a ball and very seriously took his turn. He only knocked down five, but he was still beaming.

I was smiling stupidly as I took my turn. I didn't do great, but that didn't matter. I won, but that didn't matter. Edward only lost by 20. We left the alley. I felt like a teenager. I was totally on a high. I know I'm only 20 but Edward made me feel young again. What a stupid thing to say!

"I had a really good time tonight." I told Edward as we made our way out to his car. His car still made me want to tease him endlessly about it. I refrained, with difficulty.

"Surprisingly so did I." He joked, I think. "I worried a little when I decided to take you bowling. I didn't know if you would survive."

"Yes, well I have a three date rule before I let someone take me to the emergency room." Edward didn't respond as he held the door open for me to get in.

We didn't talk much as Edward drove me home. I fiddled with his iPod. It was funny to see his thick, modern classic hooked up to his 80's tape deck radio system. He pulled up out the front of my house and walked around to my side as I started to get out of the car. He walked me to the door in silence. The end of date feeling was thick. I knew I enjoyed our date, but that insecurity that Edward didn't was always there. He was being quiet, is that a bad thing?

I tripped up the steps while I over thought Edward's thoughts. He was probably just as nervous as I am. He caught me by the elbow and lifted me up so I found my feet again. We didn't move closer to the door.

We were staring, smiling too, at each other. Just do it Bella, bite the bullet. Kiss him, hug him, shake his hand, anything!

"Can I see you again?" he asked. Phew, I was so glad I didn't have to make the first move.

"Yes." I grinned. He leant in to kiss me on the cheek. Yes cheek. I didn't want cheek, I wanted lips.

Before he got too close I leant back slightly and tapped my lips. He smiled and a small glint appeared in his eyes as he leant and captured my lips instead. This kiss was extremely slow and sensual. Unlike the first one there was no tongue, but like the first one... it was amazing.

Edward was still holding me by my elbow from where he'd caught me. We broke apart for air and he laid his forehead against mine as we breathed.

"Would it bother you greatly if I wanted to call you tomorrow?" He asked.

"No, not at all." I told him honestly.

"Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight Edward." I made my way inside beaming, blissful but strangely alone.

Where was everyone?

I turned into the living room surprised to see Jacob. I hadn't seen him since the Stanley incident. "Jacob?" I called and he turned off the tv and placed his bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

"Bella," he patted the couch seat next to him, "come, sit, dish." He ordered gleefully.

"Where is everyone?"

"Uh, Rose went to Emmett's, and Alice is 'studying'." He used his fingers as quotation marks when he said studying, which only meant one thing.

"Oh, so she's with Jasper."

He nodded, "I don't know why she just doesn't say that, no one's judging. But enough with Alice, you went out with Checkout Boy Number 3."

"Or Edward as he is known in the real world." I threw out there, but I knew Jacob would never think of him with a real name. He just shook his head and waved his hands through the air, telling me that it didn't matter. I sighed, "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was, if I told him now then I would just have to repeat it again and again for Alice and Rose later. Should I make him wait? Ah, screw it, I could talk about Edward for hours.

"So he took me to Maccas," I started and Jacob frowned a little, "No, it's good, he then took me bowling." Jacob laughed, yeah, he'd seen the trophy. "Bowling was unbelievable." I sunk into Jacob's thick frame and he wrapped his arm around me.

"Because you won?" He asked.

"No."

"You didn't win?" He asked shocked.

"Please, of course I won, but wow, you should've seen Edward play." I blushed and I could feel Jacob look down on me questioningly. "Think about it Jacob, how does someone bowl?"

He held up his fingers as if they were a real person and talked me through it, "you hold the ball, walk up to the line, bend slightly, and oh!" I just nodded, "CBN 3 looks like he would have an amazing ass."

"CBN 3? And amazing doesn't even cover it." I moaned, only slightly.

"Yes, well CBN 3 is quicker to say. So did he kiss you at the end of the night?" I caught him waggle his eyebrows out of the corner of my eyes.

"Well of course he did," Jacob squealed a little, "I wasn't going to let him get away with a kiss on the cheek after the other night." I smiled... remembering.

"Wait, the other night?" Jacob asked suddenly.

"Yeah," oh, I hadn't told him because he hadn't come around in fear of the dog, "he kissed me at Emmett's when I was watching Stan." Jacob shuddered a little.

"Wait start at the beginning." I told him everything. He awed and sighed in all the right places.

"Wow." Jacob said when I had finished.

"I know. Boys are brilliant. We need to find you a boy."

"Bells, don't worry about me, you never know." He laughed and I sat up and stared at him.

"Do you-" But he was already shaking his head. I was suspicious. "Ok." I said slowly, "I'm going to bed.

Jacob said goodnight and I got up. My phone buzzed with a text. It was from Edward and I smiled immediately.

**Technically, it's tomorrow in New Zealand...**

* * *

_**A/N Edward drives a Volvo 66, not the shiny beast he drives in the books/movies, use Wiki to see its true boxy form.**_

_**Review and you get the chance to be one of the fries between Edward's thighs :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

I was smiling. It was something I did increasingly more these days. At this moment though I wasn't smiling because of Edward, shocker right?

Jacob was crouched next to Stan, who was looking at him in a curious way. "H-hey doggie." Jacob was saying as he edged closer. Stan took a step towards Jacob and Jacob instinctively flinched. Stan was pulling that cute smiley face thing, which made me just want to go over there and pat the crap out of him.

It didn't work on Jacob though. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Jacob edged a little bit closer to Stan. "Does he know any tricks?" Jacob asked shakily. Emmett had brought Stanley over as he and Rose were going to spend the day together. Stan is now Emmett's shadow, they go everywhere together. It's absolutely adorable seeing as Emmett is so huge and Stan is so tiny.

"Stanley," Emmett ordered, "play dead." Stan just flopped to the ground, lying on his side, legs out flat, eyes closed. Jacob seemed to find a bit of strength in the 'dead' dog and slowly, hesitantly stretched his hand out to pat him. He lightly ran his hand over a Stan's head. Stan's eyes flicked open and he quickly scrambled to his feet.

Jacob practically had a heart attack and leapt back so fast he crashed into the kitchen stools behind him. The crash scared little Stan and he quickly dashed as far away from Jacob, trying to dive under the couch. I went to retrieve him before he got stuck.

"Why the sudden interest in Stan?" Rose asked as I set him on the ground, away from the couch and Jacob. He went and sniffed his way around Rose's legs.

Jacob got up off the ground, "Well, I figured that I can't be scared of dogs forever."

"And why are you scared of dogs?" I asked. For the past week I had been trying to get it out of Jacob why he is scared of dogs. So far, I've got nothing and that is greatly frustrating.

Jacob smiled at me and shook his head slowly. Dang. He wasn't going to tell me. I shrugged, I'd tried. Next move I think will involve some form of alcohol.

"Why the sudden interest in not fearing dogs?" Emmett asked him. Rose and I agreed, curious. The last couple of weeks Jacob has been... odd. Emmett had just pointed out another strange thing about Jacob's behaviour.

The week Em got Stan we didn't see Jacob. I thought it was because of Stan, but this past week I've hardly seen Jacob and his comment on the night of Edward and my date got the cogs turning in my head. Jacob had some sort of fella he was toting around in the real world that he wasn't ready to tell us about. This, in Jacob terms, meant something. He is a keeper.

Jacob just shrugged in response to Emmett's question, "I'm not being afraid anymore," of commitment, I added in my head, for him. I knew it was true. I was grinning at Jacob. He caught my grin and gave me a funny look. "Did you two have any plans today?" Jacob asked Rose and Emmett.

"No," Rose said hesitantly.

"We were just going to chill." Emmett added, not noticing Rose's hesitation.

"Do you mind if I take Stanley for a walk?" Jacob asked. Rose, Em and I went silent.

"What?" Jacob asked staring at all three of us.

"You hate dogs." I stated the obvious.

"Yes, but I just told you that I wanted to rectify that."

"I'm worried for Stan's welfare." I told him honestly. He looked at me.

"Bells, I'm not going to kill him." Jacob rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to see if I could walk him."

"Sure you can walk him." Emmett said. I looked at him, Rose did too. Both of us shocked. Jacob had made it very clear that he did not like Stanley and Emmett was just going to hand him over to the hater.

"Em, babe, are you sure?" Rose asked anxiously. She looked at me and I knew my face looked the same as hers, unsure and concerned.

"Yes, I trust Jacob." Emmett said confidently.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked Jacob.

He shook his head slowly and placed his hand over his heart, "Bee, the lack of trust you have in me is offensive." He was mocking me! He was about to face his fears and he was getting a laugh out of me. Oh screw him. I hope he wets his pants just because Stan barks.

"Ok," Rose said, "but remember Jacob, we'll be here. You can always call us."

"I'll be fine." He assured.

"Ok then, glad that's sorted." Emmett said, clapping his hands together. He turned to Rose, "Rosie, let's go out today." He said.

"But what about-" She worried.

"Bella will be here." Emmett reassured her.

"Ok," she said, "ok, let's go out." Rose smiled.

Rose and Emmett left and I helped Jacob get the lead on Stan. "You ok?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes again, "Please, stop. I'll be fine. We're just going to the dog park. I'll call you if I need help." And then he left. I noticed that whenever Stan tried to get closer to Jacob that Jacob would always shift away from him. At least now Jacob tried not to look shocked or disgusted by the little dog.

I was now home alone. Alice had slept at Jasper's last night as they'd gone on a date. I didn't know whether or not to expect her home anytime soon, so I didn't know how long I was going to be home alone. I started trying to clean out the fridge, but I got distracted easily. Would Jacob and Stan be at the dog park yet?

I tried to think of Edward instead. He and I hadn't had another date, but that was due to school. Summer break was in two weeks so the work load was heavy. All my shifts for work this week had been during the week, so my weekend was free. Unfortunately Edward had to work this morning. I glanced at the clock. I think he finishes soon.

Just because we hadn't had another 'date' date doesn't mean we have not spoken. Every night I get a cute text before I go to bed. I text Edward at little random intervals during the day too and we even studied together on Wednesday.

I stood staring at last night's leftover take-out Chinese. I wanted to see Edward. I also wanted to text Jacob to see if he was ok.

The itch of an idea started to grow and I ran to the bookshelves in the lounge room. I was wearing my sweats and socks. My sweats were long and baggy, so I accidently tripped on them and skidded halfway across the floors. Luckily I made it to the shelves halfway upright in one piece.

I knew right between _Wuthering Heights_ and _Dr Seuss' One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish_ was Edward's timetable. I didn't think Jacob had thrown it out, but I was doubtful that he would put it back in the exact same spot. For once I was thankful of Jacob's predictability.

I pulled out the piece of college lined paper and opened it.

**Saturday: Wal-Mart 8-1**

I bent my head back, trying to see the clock, I over balanced and walked to stand right in front of it. 1:03. I smiled he'd be finished. I scrambled back into my room. My phone was on the charger but I pulled it free and dialled Edward's number while I quickly undressed. I pulled on some jeans while the phone rang and I was taking off my sweatshirt when he answered.

"Hi Bella," he said happily. I was a little puffed from the running and fast undressing, plus I now had my head stuck in my shirt top as I was only using one hand. "Bella, are you ok?" He asked hearing my laboured breathing.

I pulled my head free and put my phone to my ear. "Fine, I'm fine, how are you? Hey, crazy thought, are you free today?"

Edward chuckled, "I'm good. I just finished work. Yes, I'm free, why is that a crazy thought?" He asked. Well he didn't know what I had in mind, so he didn't know how institutionalised my thought process was this morning.

"Oh, no reason," I tried to rush it off nonchalantly, "Can you come to my house, right now?" I asked him and quickly pulled a t-shirt over my head.

"Right now Bella, are you sure you're alright?" He asked, his voice sounding worried.

"I'm perfectly fine." I told him honestly. He won't believe I am actually fine until he actually sees me, so the quicker he gets here the better.

"Ok, I'm coming now." He said before we ended the call.

I laced my shoes and dragged one of the kitchen stools from the kitchen into my bedroom. I carefully climbed on top, praying that the chair didn't decide to swing or turn suddenly sending me flying across the room. I drove my hands into the back of the top of my cupboard, searching for the box. The box held all the crap from home that I didn't know what to do with, such as a pair of binoculars. I, luckily, found them quickly because the doorbell rang the moment my hand clasped them.

I jumped/fell off the kitchen stool and dragged it back into the kitchen. I caught my reflection in the mirror, meh, I tied up my hair and contemplated putting in my contacts. Ah, screw it, Edward was on the other side of that door and he's seen me with my goggles before. I quickly grabbed my keys, wallet and phone _and_ the binoculars and opened the door, panting. Edward was there, his eyes were slightly wild and his hair was tousled. I hope he wasn't worrying.

"Hi Edward," I said. I started to move forward, trying to get out of my house. I was pulling the front door closed behind me, but I was meeting a barrier in front of me. Edward. I looked up at him.

His eyebrow was raised in amusement as I tried to push past him. I was pushing on his stomach, if you can call it that. It was toned and defined. I kind of hope he might just take his top off. "Bella," He said slowly, "what are you doing?" He asked in a voice that sounded like he was talking to a child.

"Trying to leave, and you are making it excessively difficult." I told him. He couldn't work out what to say. I watched him process my words, "Edward, we're wasting time, get in your boxmobile and lets go." I said pushing slightly harder on his chest. He deliberated stopping me, dragging me back inside and calling the asylum, or something to that degree I assumed, but instead Edward stepped aside and let the loony out.

I walked to the passenger side of his car and waited for him to come and open the door. He unlocked it and opened it for me. I quickly slid inside and did up my seatbelt ready to go. He, on the other hand, practically dragged his body around to his side, unlocked his door and slowly, but surely crawled into the driver's seat. I fought the urge to tell him to move faster, but I realised that he was probably moving at normal speed and I was just doubling mine.

"Where too m'lady?" He asked grinning. I smiled, glad that he was going to go along with my charade.

"The dog park kind sir, and please step on it, this is a matter of life and death." I told him. He looked a little alarmed but pulled into the traffic. We were going to 'see' Stan and Jacob. 'See' may be the wrong word though. Technically, even though Edward and I will be hiding and Jacob won't know we're there, we will still be using our eyes to look at him, therefore we are seeing him. No it's not stalking, not if we don't get caught.

The park was only around the corner, that's why Jacob walked, so we were there quickly.

"Ok," I said the Edward, "see that bush over there?" I asked him pointing to an abnormally large bush, "Go park behind that." He only laughed and snagged the spot. He turned off the car reached for the door handle to get out. I grabbed his wrist.

"No." I told him. He took his hand off the door handled immediately, "look." I pointed out the front window to where I could see Jacob avoiding Stanley like the plague. He wasn't very successful seeing as he had Stan on a leash. I put the binoculars to my eyes. Jacob had his lips thinned into a line as he looked down at Stan, who was trying to jump on him

"Jacob?" Edward asked. I nodded, "are we spying on Jacob?" *Nod* "Is Jacob with Stanley?" I nodded again. "Wow, what happened?" I'd told Edward about the coffee table incident and Jacob.

"Exactly."

We both sat there for a little while silently as we watched Jacob and Stan, taking turns with the binoculars. "Jacob's looking for something." He was looking around every few seconds but trying to do it nonchalantly.

Edward chuckled under his breath, "Jacob's got a boyfriend." The way he said it, in such a petty teenage girl sing-song way, made me collapse in giggles. "Bella!" Edward exclaimed excitedly pulling me from my giggle fit. "Look!" He held the binoculars to his face as he pointed through the windscreen at Jacob.

A man, a tall, russet skinned, long haired, muscled man approached Jacob and Stan. He hugged Jacob with a quick peck on the lips before bending down to pat the shit out of Stan, who quickly rolled onto his back for his belly to be rubbed.

I squealed and jumped up and down as much as possible in Edward's small car. "Jacob has a boyfriend!" I said to Edward.

Edward just laughed at my excitement, "Do you think they go to the same gym?" He asked.

"What?"

"I'm just saying they're both pretty buff."

"I'm questioning your masculinity."

He rolled his eyes, "are you really?" He looked into mine. I blushed. He slowly blinked. I let out a shuddering breath. I hadn't been breathing. Damn the dazzler. I leaned in and so did he. I crossed the distance quickly, attaching my lips to his. He quickly returned the kiss, setting the pace. He hungrily moved his tongue with mine, only breaking away when we both needed air. While I panted he moved his lips to my neck, sucking and licking the skin there. He seemed to have better stamina than me. I moved my face so I could find his lips.

Eventually, I broke the contact, trying to return my breathing and body colour to normal. "Not anymore."

"Good." He _smiled_, ugh, up goes the heat I was trying to control. He took my hand and moved his thumb in circles. I was still staring at Edward, so I was confused when he turned his head to look away. I followed his line of sight. Jacob! I'd totally forgotten.

Jacob and Jim – get it? Gym, Jim? Because Edward's comment about him going to the gym caused him to kiss me, which I think earns him the name Jim. No? Oh well – were holding hands, lazily walking Stan around the park. Stan was still on the leash, but Jim was now holding it. Jacob seemed a little relieved that he didn't have to hold Stan anymore.

"Aw, don't you think it's cute that Jacob risked his fear of dogs for Jim?" I asked Edward. He gave me the _I'm a man, we don't think things are 'cute'_ look.

He didn't answer that question though, "Jim?" Oh, uh, awkward.

"Yes, I nicknamed him Jim. Don't ask questions." I levelled my gaze and he just smirked. Cocky man, he'd totally worked it out.

"Do you want to know something?" Edward asked me.

I snorted, "of course."

"Emmett bought Stan to prove that he could take 'care of things'." I knew he was trying to tell me something but obviously he wasn't being clear enough, "He bought Stanley because I'm pretty sure he's going to propose to Rosalie."

My jaw dropped. "Oh my god." I was a little shocked, more excited though but first I needed to ask, "What do you mean by 'pretty sure'?"

"I mean I've seen the ring."

The bubble of happiness that was brewing inside me exploded and came out of my mouth in the form of excessively fast talking. "Take care of things, oh like kids, family, aw wow that's so sweet. You've seen the ring, can I see the ring, do think Rose will like the ring, what does it look like, when is he going to propose, Edward!" I was bouncing so much that Edward put his hand on my knee to stop the car from shaking so much.

"Bella, you can't tell Rose." He smirked and all my excitement immediately fell.

"But why?"

"Because Emmett told me not to tell anyone and I've already broken that so you have to promise not to tell."

"But you broke the original promise, why should I help save your hind?" I teased.

"Because..." he was staring at me intently which caused my heart to race, "I love it when you wear your glasses." Heat gathered in my cheeks.

"Thank you, but what does that have to do with our conversation?" I recognised that look in Edward's eyes.

"I'm just trying to tell you that you're trustworthy and beautiful and a good friend to Rosalie and Emmett and that you wouldn't want to ruin the moment for them." His eyes burned into mine. Wow, his lips looked so kissable, I think I might...

_Ask a question! _"What shouldn't I ruin, what moment?" All I cared about was the moment Edward and I are having, right now. That I was ruining with my _questions._ Damn it Bella, focus! Kiss the man!

"Exactly." He said moving closer to me.

Just before he kissed me my stomach growled and Edward pulled back. "Hungry?" He laughed and I sighed in defeat and nodded. If I ignore the growl now it will definitely just get worse.

We got out of the car and I turned my head looking for Jacob, Jim and Stan. I couldn't see them, maybe they left. Edward took my hand as we crossed the road to find some food. The only decent looking food place we found close was a hamburger shop.

Before we entered the shop we heard a bark. A small, yappy, familiar bark. Both Edward and I froze and turned around in sync. I'm sure to others it would've looked funny, but I was freaking out a little. We spotted Stan tied to lamp post.

"Oh shit Bella," Edward called, he was tugging slightly on my hand as he leant forward precariously on his tip-toes, peering into the shop, "Jacob and Jim are inside." I smiled at how Edward was using the nickname when he wasn't even sure about the meaning behind it.

Then it crashed down on me. They were inside, probably about to exit any minute. "We need to move it." I told Edward. He turned around and we started to walk away when we heard a little yapping bark. Edward didn't falter, but I did. I turned around. I was staring at Stan's puppy dog face. His mouth fixed in that permanent smile, his eyes wide.

Oh no. "Bella, do you want to be caught?" He said teasingly, yet seriously.

"Just one pat." I pleaded with Edward and I quickly bent down to pat Stan on the head. "Hey Stan." I cooed. He immediately flopped onto his back and I rubbed his furry belly.

Stan let out a yap and Edward said, "Oh shit." So I looked up. Jacob and Jim were exiting the shop.

"Shit." I said I stood up, said goodbye to Stan, turned to Edward and said, "I might trip." Before grabbing his hand and running off down the street.

Edward guided me to his car and we got in hurriedly, collapsing in fits of laughter from our _great escape_. As my breathing and laughter started to calm I realised that Edward had gotten his under control quicker than me and was now laughing silently at me. Cue blush...

"Oh that was fun." I sighed, relaxing back into my seat. I closed my eyes for just a moment when they were suddenly forced back open. A tap at the window and the bark of a dog was what caused it. I also almost shot through the roof of the Volvo and considering its age I'm sure it is entirely possible. Edward laughed a little more at my display.

I turned my head to the window to see Stan. "Uh oh." I rolled down the window. "Hello Stanley." I scratched his head. Stan was suddenly removed from my hand and replaced by Jacob. Double uh oh.

"Hi Bella." He said flatly.

"Hi Jacob."

"Hello CBN 3"

"Why do I have all these nicknames that no one will explain to me?" Edward asked me. I heard a laugh so I craned my head trying to see Jim but damn Jacob just about filled the window.

"I'll tell you about CBN 3 later." I patted Edward's hand.

"Number 11?"

"No," I laughed, "definitely never."

"Are you two done flirting?" Jacob asked. He was not happy. Edward and I nodded. "Good." He dragged. He stood up and put Stan through the window.

"Jacob! You're holding Stan without-" A dog was dropped in my lap and a hand was slammed onto my mouth. Stan crawled over to Edward and sat on his lap watching the strange arm smother me. Jacob's head bent down, blocking out any possible sightings of Jim, and hissed at me to _shut the fuck up_. "Sorry." I whispered.

"We're going to spend some more time together," Jacob said, "_without you,_" he emphasised and I saluted him, showing him I understood. He smirked, ah! I'm totally forgiven, "now as I said I'd only walk Stan, I'm sure Emmett is expecting him home, so please deliver." He smiled. I nodded and he ducked out of the car. I saw him and Jim walking away.

I leaned out the car window, "wait!" I called after them, "aren't you going to introduce me to Jim?" Jacob twirled around and gave me the crazy look and flipped me off. Jim laughed and waved goodbye.

Edward handed me Stan and we drove back to my place.

"So, CBN 3?" He asked.

I busied myself with Stan's collar, making sure it was there and stuff, "Checkout Boy Number 3." I told him.

He laughed, "you do realise that I'm not on the same checkout every time I work."

"Yes, but it was the checkout you were on when I had my, uh... _moment_." I finally looked up at Edward. He was looking at me. I blushed a little but he _smiled_, that crooked one I adored and I returned it with one of my own.

We arrived back at my place and I set Stan free. He immediately went to sniff around the couch. "Hello?" I called. Hm, no one home. The house all to Edward and I. Whatever will we do? "Are you hungry?" I asked Edward. Our attempt at lunch had been interrupted after all.

"Sure." Edward said as he made his way over to stare into the fridge with me. I heard Stan bark, but thought nothing of it until he came skidding into the kitchen and barked again until we looked at him.

I listened. Something wasn't right. I turned to Edward, "Can you hear that?"

* * *

_**A/N As always I'll beg PULEEEESE tell me what you think. Mabye you want to tell me your theories on what Edward and Bella can here. Just hit that little review button below, I know you can see it.**_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"I'm all wet."

"Bella, push a little harder."

"It's not going in."

"Don't give up, Bella."

"Edward it's too big."

"Well it was in there before."

"Yes, but it slipped out."

"Tighten your grip."

"Edward, lift me a little higher."

"Here wrap your legs around me."

"That's better, more leverage."

"Almost there, almost there."

"Ugh."

"Oh shit."

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

I was sprawled on Edward's chest, our legs intertwined, both of us sopping wet, with Edward lying on the floor of the shower. Alice was standing in the doorway to the bathroom with her hands on her hips. Jasper was behind her laughing silently.

"I think you've caught them in the act, darl." He drawled. Alice smirked.

I rolled my eyes and untangled myself from Edward and crawled off his chest. He sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his head. I hope he didn't hit it hard when he landed on the floor. It was slippery in here. Shit was flying everywhere. I've no idea where the spanner landed.

"Ow." Edward said pulling it out from under his butt. It was then I took him in. He was all wet, well so was I, but he looked gorgeous. His hair wasn't its usual wild array of mishap, now it was slicked back with stray strands stuck to his forehead. His eyelashes were clamped together in little triangles framing his green eyes. His eyes were checking me out I noticed. I followed them down to my shirt which was stuck to my chest outlining my boobs. Thank God I was wearing a good bra today. Nonetheless I plucked my shirt off my skin. His eyes looked up at mine and he smiled sheepishly. I smiled back confidently.

"Are you two done ogling each other?" Alice asked. I nodded and so did Edward. I focused my attention on Alice in the doorway. I felt as if I was about to get chastised like a little kid who drew on the walls.

"Don't y'all usually take your clothes off first?" Jasper asked and Alice flung her arm back, whacking him in the stomach. He just smirked.

"We weren't having sex." I rolled my eyes at the both of them.

"Mhm." Alice said, "Maybe you should, because all that sexual tension is going to set Jasper off again." She turned into him, pretended to faint causing Jasper to go straight for her neck.

I blushed, "ugh, get a room!" I yelled at them.

"Maybe we will." She smiled, but they didn't move.

"How long have you two been listening." I grumped, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the two of them.

"Since you told Edward it was _too_ big." Jasper chuckled. Edward did too. Even though we weren't even talking about him I could see his ego inflating by the second.

"Oh Edward." Alice mocked. Jasper grabbed her by the hips.

"The only name you should be calling, Ali, is _mine._" Jasper said huskily and even I perked up a little at that. The man had an amazing voice. I would ring his sex hotline, if he had one. I caught Edward out of the corner of my eye, nah I wouldn't, not if I'd heard Edward's voice, that it.

"Is that so?" Alice and Jasper were still toying with each other in the bathroom doorway. I stood up and took a step out of the bathtub. Practically the entire bathroom floor was wet, so, having the balance skills of a new born horse, I slipped.

Edward dove awkwardly out of the tub, catching me and landing on his back, legs still in the tub.

"Thanks." I smiled at him, embarrassed. I crossed and closed the bathroom door. Alice and Jasper hadn't moved too far yet and it was becoming awkward to watch. I've never seen them like that. "The bathroom is made of tile, I should've known." I joked because tile, water, situations involving Edward and me just do not mix coordination wise.

"Well I couldn't let you break your three date rule." He laughed. He was talking about my joke about three dates before I go to the emergency room that I'd made when we went bowling.

"Well, I couldn't do that, could I? What would everyone think of me?" I joked along with him.

"I don't know what everyone else thinks, but I think you're a great shower head repair woman." I snorted at this comment given to me by Edward in an extremely sweet voice with a dazzling tone.

Edward and I were staring into the fridge when Stan skidded into the kitchen wet. Then I heard the noise and went to investigate. Our showerhead was lying over the drain hole, effectively blocking it and causing the bath to fill up with the water that was spraying out. Our shower head is very clever. It managed to fall _and_ turn on the cold water tap _and_ cover the drain hole.

We had been fixing it when we had been caught. "I couldn't have fixed it without you Edward. Who would've given me the leverage?" I cocked an eyebrow suggestively. Edward laughed and we both stood there staring at each other.

"Mm, yes, the leverage." Edward repeated. I was thinking about my legs wrapped around Edward's torso and the strange things we were saying to each other. No wonder Alice and Jasper thought we were having sex!

I blushed, "Well, it seems to be all fixed now." I tapped Edward's chest with chagrin. He was standing with his arms wrapped around me. Both of us were still soaked through to the bone.

"Would you like to go out on a date with me tonight Bella?"

"Like a 'date' date?"

"Whatever you feel like. I'll pick you up at 7?" I nodded.

...

"So do you call out checkout boy number 3 when you're having sex?" Emmett pestered. He was picking up Stan. He had heard about Edward and my 'sex incident' and has been irritating me with all these questions

"No Emmett." I told him in the same bored tone I had used for the last 50 or so questions.

"Why not?"

"Well it's too long for a start,"

"Oh so Eddie boy doesn't last that long." He interrupted.

"You know he doesn't like to be called that and,"

Emmett cut me off "you'd think he would, you know, last longer, in high school he was a 'long showerer'" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows.

"Emmett!"

He continued anyway, "but I suppose size really doesn't matter. If you can't use it then what's the point?"

"Emmett shut up! Edward has good stamina ok!" I tried to help Edward, "I wouldn't know though because we have not had sex yet!"

"I know." Emmett laughed.

"You what!"

"I know." He said slowly.

"Then why-"

"I'm just messing with you." He said rubbing his hand over my hair and walking away, calling out goodbye. I huffed out of the living room and into my bedroom. I started getting ready for my date tonight. _My date_ the thought alone eased the irritation from Emmett's annoying actions.

I knew what I was wearing at least. After Edward had left Alice and I dug through my wardrobe. Tonight I will be wearing a floral print halter neck maxi dress. It looks quite good if I do say so myself. Alice had talked me into wearing heels and I was a little nervous about that. I slipped them both on and practised walking.

I went into the bathroom, which was water free now, to work on my hair. My hair at the moment was still wet from my earlier shower (my real one). I pulled out the hairdryer and plugged it in. Before I turned it on I heard Rose giggle. Rosalie can chuckle or chortle or cackle, but _giggle_, this was something new. I edged closer to the door. I don't think I am technically eavesdropping because if I was there then Rose would be telling me too.

"We just hung out Alice." She said.

"Mhm, well Jazz and I just hung out too." I know for a fact that Alice and Jasper were having sex. So I don't think 'hung out' means Rose and Em played scrabble.

Rose giggled again, "no, we didn't have sex Ali. We literally just hung out..." I closed the door. Emmett was so sweet when he wanted to be. I wonder if he's proposed yet. No, I would've heard about it by now.

I turned the hairdryer on and started on my hair. I looked left to the shower and smiled, remembering my shower experience with Edward. When Rose had come home Alice sprung me straight away. I was annoyed because Rose dove straight into how, when and where's before even asking me whether or not it was true.

I wonder what it would be like to _be_ with Edward.

My hand froze, the hairdryer blowing into my ear. I had certainly thought about having sex with Edward, but I hadn't actually full on acknowledged the thought. They had just been passing thoughts, like when he kissed me. I'm not a virgin, I just don't jump head first into sex, but it has been a while. I turned off the hairdryer and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

I could have sex with Edward. I could, but I think the more important this is, I wanted to.

I have never been this clear and confident in a relationship before, nor had I been in one that was this unconventional. So, what about the three date rule? I know most women say that it is an illusion, a rule made up by men so they'd get lucky after putting in for three dates. I could see myself frowning. I relaxed my face. Ok, if Edward makes a move tonight then I'll let whatever will be just be, if he doesn't then that's fine too. No pressure. I opened the vanity cabinet, it's better to be safe though than unprepared.

I searched through the cabinet. Where are they?

"Alice where are they?" I screamed. I rushed into the living room. Alice was sitting on the couch holding a cup of coffee and Rose was flipping through a Cosmo, the television was on but both weren't paying attention to it.

"Alice, Rose, have you guys seen them?" I asked.

"Seen what Bella?" Alice practically sung.

"The condoms, the spare ones I put in the bathroom after Rose's party."

Alice spat her coffee up and looked at me. Rose's hand hovered midair, about to turn the page. Why did they both seem so shocked? After everything they've said today, why are they shocked by my revelation?

"What?" They both said.

"I thought you said you and Edward weren't having sex." Rose said. I squirmed a little.

"We're not." She looked at me. I went and sat between them.

"It's our third date tonight."

"So..." Alice prompted.

"What if he wants to have sex tonight? I want to be prepared." Alice laughed and hugged me. She set her mug on the coffee table. Rose chucked her magazine on the floor and turned so she was sitting cross legged on the couch.

"Bella, there's no definite period of time when you should start having sex. You don't have to rush this." Rose said. I rolled my eyes.

"I know, I just want to be prepared and I want to." I smiled at the last part. I was certain.

"Ok, well if you're sure." Alice said.

"I am." I nodded.

"Well, we better get you some condoms." Alice said jumping up off the couch and heading into her room.

"What happened to the ones in the bathroom?" I asked her and she mumbled something about Rose using them.

Rose rolled her eyes, "please, I'm on the pill, I don't use them with Emmett. She and Jasper are going at it like rabbits. I'm surprised it took you this long to notice their disappearance." I just laughed, loudly, letting Alice know I knew it was her. "Do you want help with your hair?" She asked.

"Please." I smiled.

...

As I watched Edward's tongue wrap around his spoon I knew why there were three condoms in my purse. We were sharing a dessert, chocolate mousse. Yum. I dug my spoon into the mousse and then put it in my mouth. I 'mmmed'. It was really good mousse. Edward's eyes gazed over. I smirked to myself.

The night had gone well. We had joked about the day, held hands throughout dinner, talked about our pasts, now though, as the date closed, I think we're ready.

"Are you finished?" Edward asked. I nodded and we both stood. Edward and I went to the front to pay because it was quicker than waiting for the cheque.

"Would you like me to pay?" I asked. I actually wanted to. Edward had been paying for everything he did with me since we started going out, even my coffee on our impromptu meetings.

Edward scoffed, "No Bella." I didn't argue anymore, I'd learnt that after coffee number four. I edged closer to Edward, trying to see the total. "Bella," he warned playfully. I backed off as he ran his card through and then snuck up behind his shoulder.

I edged closer slowly. Just a little more. Edward spun suddenly, finished with the transaction. Startled, I took a quick, uncoordinated step back, tripping over my own feet. I felt my ankle hit the hardwood floors, which isn't good considering I'm wearing 4 inch heels, and Edward grab my arm, pulling me back up.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked worried. I nodded. All my weight was still on the one foot and Edward's arm was now around my waist. I took a hesitant step forward on my sore right foot. My ankle didn't support my weight and went straight for the floor. I felt it touch again before Edward pulled me closer to him.

"It's probably just a sprain." I winced. Edward frowned and we walked slowly to Edward's Volvo. He helped me into the car and crouched down at my door. He gently took my foot in his hands and removed my shoe. Softly he kissed it causing me to blush. He turned it left and right and I cringed.

"Not bad." He started pressing on the bone. He hit a spot and I hissed. "Ah, bad."

"Bad?" I asked.

"Mhm, I think we need to go to hospital." I said apologetic before swinging me back around and closing the door.

"The hospital!" I said as he got into the car. I don't like hospitals, hospitals mean needles, needles mean a passed out Bella. Great. "Why?" I whined, "It's probably just a sprain."

"I just want to be sure," he pleaded with his eyes and I knew then that we were going to the hospital, whether I wanted to or not. Yay for me.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Edward, I don't like hospitals." He laughed, "Nobody ever wants to go to hospital. You're there because some serious shit went down."

He bit his lip to stop the laugh and took my hand, kissing my knuckle, he said, "That's probably why you're there though, because they fix shit up."

He laughed and I did too, just a little. My ankle was starting to throb and it kept me grounded in my 'not happy' facade. We got to hospital and Edward helped me out of the car and into emergency. Edward led me up to the desk where the nurse asked him if there was _anything she could help him with._

I might've glared a little too much because when she turned to sneer at me she tripped over her words and began shuffling papers on the desk. Bella one, slutty nurse zero.

"My _girlfriend_," he accentuated. Yes! Bella two, slutty nurse zero. "Might have a broken ankle."

"Ok, well take a seat we'll get someone to help you shortly. In the meantime you must fill out these papers." She pushed a heap of papers towards Edward only looking up to ogle at him briefly.

"Uh," Edward now seemed nervous. Where had confident, accentuating Edward gone? "Is Doctor Cullen on the floor tonight?" My ears perked up at the mention of his father.

"Yes he is." Slutty nurse replied flustered.

"He's my father." Was all Edward said and slutty nurse immediately became a wreck.

"Oh, oh then well I'll see what I can do, please take a seat he won't be too long." She battered her eyelashes but Edward didn't notice. Bella three, slutty nurse zero, I win. I resisted poking out my tongue at slutty nurse.

Edward was going to make his father treat me. Wait, I was going to meet Edward's father! I'm not prepared for that, do I look ok, oh my god I'm not wearing shoes!

"Your father Edward." I hissed as we made our way to the uncomfortable waiting room chairs.

"Uh yes."

"I'm not even wearing shoes." I groaned.

Edward laughed, "Do you really want to be wearing those after what just happened?"

"Technically you can't blame the shoes," wow the day I defend high heels. I never saw this coming. Alice would be proud. "No distracting, what if he doesn't like me? I'm clumsy and does he even know because my parents don't know and,"

"Bella your rambling."

"I know that," I sighed, "I'm just nervous."

"Don't be." He kissed my temple and started to fill out my forms. Edward has a brilliant memory he got my name, address and birthday without even asking plus he has beautiful handwriting, so I wasn't complaining.

I was nervous. Sure I was in pain but I didn't want to be here, especially now. Edward had told me all about his parents. When he spoke about them it was in such awe that made me a little jealous. I was actually looking forward to meeting both Esme and Carlisle, but I was thinking in a more traditional setting. Ok, I just need to calm the hell down.

I heard Edward speaking, "What?" I asked.

"Are you allergic to anything?" He asked.

"Brussels sprouts."

He rolled his eyes, "Everyone is 'allergic' to Brussels sprouts, Bella."

"No," I shook my head, "I'm serious, I go red and sneezy." He looked at me but wrote down my allergy.

"Isabella Swan." I heard my name called and my heart started to race. I instinctively started to stand up which caused Edward to quickly stand too to stop my foot from collapsing and me falling.

"Thanks." I smiled at him. We walked in the direction of the voice and were led to a bed. A doctor entered.

"Edward?" He said. I looked at the doctor. No, this could not be Carlisle Cullen, he's too young. I'm just going to say it now, wow. Also, I'm glad I shaved my legs. That thought alone made me blush. He's your boyfriend's _father_. He looked down at his chart and asked, "Isabella?"

I nodded, held out my hand and squirmed, intending to stand. Edward held me down though. I shot him an apologetic look. Dr Cullen took my hand, "Bella is fine." I told him.

He dropped my hand and started to read my chart, "and you and Edward are friends?" He asked curiously.

"Uh, yeah, well," My hand moved to my head, running my fingers through my hair. I noticed Edward did the same. Now I'm picking habits up off him? Dr Cullen flipped the page over.

"We're seeing each other dad." Edward said clearly and Dr Cullen looked up and... smiled. I relaxed immensely.

"Well, then I'm Carlisle, nice to meet you Bella." He held out his hand again and again I shook it, laughing slightly. "So, what has you two here today?" He looked down at the chart, "suspected broken ankle." He lifted up my foot and began to twist and poke like Edward had done earlier. I winced and hissed at certain points. "So how did this happen?" Carlisle asked before smirking and flicking his eyes between Edward and me.

"Dad!" Edward exclaimed and I shot him a questioning look, "we were out to dinner and she tripped."

"I didn't say anything Edward." Carlisle chucked. Did he? Ew, is it weird for your boyfriend's father to think about you and his son having sex? Yes. "Well Bella you'll need to get an x-ray." I nodded and was ushered down for an x-ray.

After my foot was twisted and tortured I was certain it was broken and then taken back to the curtain cubicle I was in earlier. A nurse roughly put an IV into my arm and I focused on not vomiting or fainting by glaring at Edward. But it was hard to glare at him when he stood there holding my purse with a sympathetic look on his face. He held my hand as I felt the blood drain from my face as the nurse finally got the needle into my vein.

I rested my head back against the crappy pillows emergency had. It looks like the only thing I'd be getting tonight would be a cast on my foot. The nurse left saying that the doctor would be back soon with my results and Edward broke the silence.

"I'm sorry." I told Edward. I was sorry we were spending the wee hours of the night in emergency surrounded by the sick and not in his or my bed surrounded by each other.

"Don't be, I thought you were joking about the three date rule." I blushed. I didn't think I had mentioned that to him. Maybe he had found the condoms in my purse. Maybe I had said something out loud due to the drugs.

"It's what most people do isn't it?" I asked him and he looked at me funny. It just made me blush all the more.

I looked away and he laughed awkwardly. I didn't know if I should be crying or angry, the meds were affecting my emotions and judgment, but I felt as if I was putting myself on the line. "Bella I don't think most people want to go to the emergency room on a third date."

My head snapped back to look onto his eyes. "Oh shit." That most definitely had not been what we were talking about. He saw the fear in my eyes, but misinterpreted it.

"Bella, oh, that doesn't mean I don't want to be here, that's not what I meant at all."

I started shaking my head and Edward stopped talking. I knew he was going to let me have my say but I also knew that if I asked him to leave he wouldn't. I wasn't going to ask him to leave though.

"Edward that was not what I was talking about."

I watched him he looked confused. "Oh." He said and I looked down and shifted uncomfortably. Now I kind of wished he would leave but I knew if he did I would be all the more crushed.

I felt him grab my hand but I still didn't look up. I heard the metal hospital chair scrap across the ground and I wondered how he had moved it without letting go of my hand but I still didn't look up. He touched my chin with two long fingers and lifted my head so it was directly looking into his green eyes. I felt awkward.

"Bella just because we've had three dates does not mean you have to have sex with me." He said it so sincerely.

"But I want to." I said. I blushed. Oh shit I hadn't wanted him to know that. "Oh my god, oh my god." I cried ripping my hand from his and burying my face into my hands. "You can leave now if you want because frankly even I don't want to be here with myself." I mumbled, the sound muffled by my hands.

He laughed and tugged gently at my wrist, "Bella," I shook my head, "Bella," he said more reproachfully but still I didn't move my hands. He used more force to gently remove my hands from my face and hold them together in my lap. He didn't hurt me and the fact that he was being to kind and gentle after my episode of word vomit made me want to cry.

"Bella I want to have sex with you too, but not today." He held two fingers to my lips to silence me as I was about to cry 'but why' and stomp away like a child. "Firstly Bella you're injured," he pointed knowingly to my foot, "and secondly I don't want our first time to be savage ripping of each other's clothing just for a quick release."

I smiled at him and leaned forward for a kiss. It was quick because we broke apart embarrassed by a doctor clearing his throat.

"I've got the x-rays." Carlisle said holding up the x-ray, "avulsion fracture," he gave me a pity smile, "that means a cast." I sighed and slumped down, exhausted by the strange day and waited for my plaster. I smiled slyly. Edward wanted to have sex with me.

* * *

_**A/N Again I will beg, please REVIEW. What was your favourite part? Or most embarassing emergency room visit. Maybe what you had for dinner.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Edward helped me into the house.

"Thanks for just being so," I paused looking for the right word, "good tonight." I'm tired and we had been at the hospital for three hours and I had been loaded with drugs in that time, my vocabulary is suffering.

He walked me to my bedroom door and I turned the handle. I frowned. Why won't it turn?

"Edward I know I'm a bit off my face at the moment but the door handle is not turning at the moment, right?" Edward tried and it didn't turn. Who's in my bed? I tried to scream but the best my throat managed was a raspy whisper. Edward was still trying to jiggle the doorhandle. "Edward, don't worry about it's probably just," I didn't know who it could be. Everyone I know has their own apartments or beds, "someone." I finished lamely for Edward.

"Where will you sleep?" He asked.

"Couch?" He moved to the couch and then dragged it effortlessly across the floor and began taking off the seat cushions and the back cushions and laying them on the floor.

"Edward you don't have to-"

He looked up but didn't stop his motions and smiled, "don't worry about it Bella and besides you wouldn't know two plus two now if I asked you." He chuckled under his breath.

Was that an insult? I tried to be insulted but I couldn't find it in me. "I'm an English major, Edward. We don't do math."

He ignored the whole thing and asked, "sleeping bag?"

"Hall cupboard." He left and I followed slowly making my way to the laundry. I had a walking boot on so it was a slow process. I was looking for something more comfortable to sleep in. I was in luck. I found a pair of Rose's leggings and a t-shirt of mine. I pulled the clothes on, the leggings over the boot was an awkward process but I managed and made my way back to the living room. Edward had laid out a sleeping couch and put a folded blanket on the bare couch. He looked adorably awkward just standing there

"Will you stay with me?" I asked. I hadn't meant to it just slipped out. I ducked my head hoping he couldn't see my blush in the dark room. I dropped down onto the makeshift bed and started to take off my walking boot, I had a night splint to sleep in.

"Uh, are you sure?" I looked up quickly actually quite shocked. I had expected a refusal especially after our last conversation.

I nodded, "yes." Edward began to slip off his shoes. "I won't do anything to you, I swear," I held up my hand in a 'scouts honour' sign.

"Promise?" He joked and took off his shirt. Why do the lights have to be off! I suppose there is morning. I crawled into the sleeping bag and he lay alongside me. He pulled the blanket off the couch and we lay on our sides grinning at each other. Edward still had his jeans on.

"You can take your jeans off if you'd prefer. I wouldn't," I yawned, "mind."

"Actually I might keep them on."

"Don't worry about Rose or Alice, they probably wouldn't even notice if you didn't have pants on."

"It's not them I'm worried about."

"The mystery room stealer?"

"No."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"No Bella, it's not like that-"

"No, I understand."

"Bella, I just don't want to be here just lying in my socks. I'm sure your roommates would notice that."

What did he just say? In his socks?

I giggled, "Edward, are you going commando?"

Silence. I resisted the urge to tug down his zipper and see for myself.

"Do you always go commando?"

Silence again.

"Are you asleep?"

Silence. His eyes were closed. I plugged his nose. His mouth dropped open. I leaned in and kissed him running my tongue along his limp one. I felt his hands make their way slowly up my back as his mouth began to move faster with mine.

He pulled back panting, "Bella, don't start something you can't finish."

"Why did you play dead on me?" He just shrugged, "it's not something to be embarrassed about. I go commando sometimes too." I rolled over, I felt Edward move so his lips were just above my ear. I was blushing.

"Really Bella?" His voice was husky.

"Yes." I said curtly, "goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella."

...

"What do we have here?"

"Sush, Emmett," someone said following it by a loud slapping sound.

"Oh my god."

"Whoa, the Bee found her honey."

I wriggled in my entirely too comfortable, yet uncomfortable bed. What the hell are all those people doing? I'm trying to sleep here!

My shifting had made me flush with the solid form behind me. I felt something on under my thigh. My eyes flickered open, fully awake now. I glanced behind me. Edward was coming to now. His eyes met a mine. They were shocked. I smiled at him to let him know I wasn't offended, actually I felt a happy dance coming on. There was too much pain in my foot for that to happen though. The previous night came rushing back at me. Ah, so that's why I'm feeling Edward's morning-

"Alice," her bouncing form distracted me. "What are you doing?" I rolled onto my back, "we were trying to sleep."

"Bella please, I come out of my room this morning to find you and Edward sleeping on the floor when you were supposed to be at his house last night sed-"

"Alice!" Edward chuckled and I flushed red. "Who was in my room last night?"

"Oh, Jacob and Seth."

Seth? "Who's Seth?"

She squirmed a little with excitement. "Seth is Jacob's boyfriend!"

"Oh Jim." Oh out loud Bella, nice work.

"Who's Jim?" Alice asked.

"Jim is Seth." Edward chimed in grinning.

"Why do you call him Jim?" Persistent little pixie.

I said, "No reason," at the same time Edward decided to add his two cents

"Because we were talking," I swung my arm back intending to clamp his mouth shut but instead whacking him straight in the eye. "Ow" he said rubbing his eye.

"Sorry."

Alice giggled "I'll leave you two alone." She fluttered off into the kitchen and Edward and I were left in our makeshift bed. A lone thought crept its way to the front of my brain and I began to giggle.

I slept with Edward last night.

I sighed, "I 'spose we should get up." Edward raised his eyebrow in question implying _sex_.

"I guess you're right." I sat up and Edward pulled his shirt back on. I inwardly cried _no!_ and savoured the last moments of Edward. I swung my foot out of the sleeping bed and put my walking boot on my foot. Edward came over to help me up. "Breakfast?" He asked me and we hobbled over to the kitchen. I was still getting used to the boot.

We came into view and the animated kitchen fell silent as they stared at my foot. "Fall down again, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Yes actually." I replied and surprisingly no come back. Ha ha! Suckers, that's right you feel your guilt for waking broken Bella and stealing Bella's bed. I glared at Jacob. He didn't know why I was glaring at him but at least he had the curtsy to look appalled.

I snapped out of my gaze when I spotted Ji- uh Seth. I was going to take a while to get used to that. Edward relaxed and I placed a little more weight. I grimaced a little and Edward noticed, kissed me on the temple and went sifting through my purse. I ignored that he was doing that. I saw him smirk. It was only a small clutch, so what was in there was basically the drugs Edward was digging for, my credit card, phone, chap stick and the condoms. Yes, that's a bit awkward, three of them.

I busied myself with Seth. "Hi, I'm Bella."

"Seth." He pulled me into a quick hug. It was a bit unexpected but I wrapped my arms around him the best I could. He reminded me of Jacob. I could see that this was going to be a beautiful friendship in the making. "Thanks for letting us use your bed last night." He said.

"Yeah, what was up with that?"

"Oh, the apartment upstairs plumbing decided to merge with my bed." Jacob grimaced, "So we thought we'd crash here."

I unintentionally cringed and said, "I don't need to burn it do I?" My jaw dropped at my own words and I quickly rebuffed, "Oh shit, that's information I don't need to know. Don't worry I'll burn it anyway." Jacob blushed and so did I, "sorry, this is awkward." I said to Seth.

Seth was a good sport though, "Bella, Jacob and I would never have sex in your bed, so no worries."

"Thanks." I said to Seth. Edward returned with my pills and a glass of water, "thanks" I told him.

"Bella, what the hell happened last night?" Rose asked.

"I, uh, just kind of fell and chipped off some bone, no biggie. Dr C says it can come off in 4 weeks because it's a minor fracture." I explained to them all. Emmett laughed and Jacob shook his head in mocking sympathy. Alice and Rose just shrugged it off. Injury is nothing new.

I downed the pills and made my way into the kitchen to grab a bowl for Edward and I. Cereal and juice was going down today, seeing as the only one in this house with the ability to produce non-life threatening food was late getting up and injured. Edward poured himself and me some OJ and Alice stood up for me to sit. Man, I could get used to this whole injured thing, people just seemed to clear the path.

The household was pretty content to just sit in silence, eating or reading the comic section of the newspaper. There we were just sitting there all quiet and chill when BANG! Everyone started moving.

Well, I suppose it was more like a

_Bzzzz_, a

_Beep-beep beep-beep_, and a

_Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive_

"The Bee Gees?" I asked Edward as he pulled the singing phone out of his pocket. He cringed and I think his ears might have just changed colour.

"It's my mother." I laughed, "She picked it not me!" He defended,

"You let your mom chose her own ringtone?" I giggled.

He just looked at me embarrassed before sighing and excusing himself. He left the room to answer the call.

Seth owned the bzzzz and checked his phone. "I've got to go babe." Seth told Jacob and kissed his cheek. "Bye everyone." He called and there was a collective call of 'Bye Seth's' thrown out.

Jacob blushed as the door closed and us girls began out attack.

"Aw, Jacob that was so sweet."

"Jacob, Seth is hot."

"How long have you two been going out?"

"Girls!" Emmett groaned. "Just leave the poor man alone."

"Fine, Emmett, can you pass me my phone, it's in my purse." He made his way over to my clutch and hesitated before dipping his hand inside to pull out my phone. He didn't look, so thankfully he didn't see the condoms. I knew the _beep-beep beep-beep_ earlier had been my phone receiving a text.

I flipped open my phone. It was from Renee.

**Bella, I hear you have a boyfriend! Ring me now.**

Uh, no thanks Renee, I'll ring you later. How did she even find out!

Edward entered the room later with a strange look on his face, I think it was shock.

"Edward, are you ok?" I got up and went to him.

"Yes, that was my mom." He looked at me quickly before wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my neck. "She knows I have a girlfriend and demanded to meet you." I tensed and Edward felt it. "Don't worry, I won't force you into meeting them."

"No, it's not that, it's just," meeting a boy's mother is a frightening thing. The fathers were fine, mother's on the other hand... "Meeting your parents is a big step."

"I know."

"Somehow Renee found out about you."

"Oh, how?"

"I don't know, I received a text." I laughed humourlessly, "I suppose she'll want to meet you too." I then felt Edward stiffen, I laughed at him, "See it's intimidating, isn't it?"

"Sorry." I slapped him in the chest. "What?"

"Edward, don't apologise, that's ridiculous." I bent my head back to look at him.

"At least you've already met my father."

"I still have to meet your mother."

"Yeeees, but I'll have to meet your mother _and _father."

"And my father's a cop."

"Which will mean he'll have a gun, maybe loaded." His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "And he'll probably ask you about your intentions with me." I was teasing him now. "Lucky he doesn't know yet." Edward relaxed a little, "but Renee has probably told him so,"

Edward couldn't take it, "so, what?"

"I don't know, Charlie's never been that into my life in terms of boyfriends." I sighed, "But no rush right."

He laughed nervously, "yes, no rush." We pulled apart from each other and he ran his hand through his hair while he chuckled a little to himself, "but you must know, Esme's _extremely_ persistent."

I folded my arms. "How about we do the whole meet and greet during summer vacation?" That gave me two weeks to prepare.

He held up his hands, submitting, "Fine, fine," he chuckled, "anyway, no rush, remember?"

"Damn straight." I held up my hand and he high fived it with one of his already raised ones.

We both laughed, "That was kind of lame." Edward said.

I shrugged, "will you help me change the sheets on my bed?"

He gave me a bewildered look, "no." I slapped him on the arm. I've obviously been hanging around Emmett and Roseway too much. "Fine I'll help."

"Wow Edward, don't sound so enthusiastic." I grabbed his hand and tugged me into my bedroom. We both stripped the bed touching as little as possible. We dropped each layer in a pile on the bedroom floor and then stared at them.

"Shot not." Edward called.

I scoffed at him, "Edward, don't be so immature."

"Bella, I called it. Pick up the sheets." I pouted at him. I begged with my eyes, p_lease don't make me touch the Jacob sheets, I'm pretty sure he sleeps naked._ Edward didn't budge, just stood there shaking his head with his arms crossed.

Fine, if he wanted to play this way then we'll play. "Technically Edward, I didn't know we could call it, so your call is void." He tried to speak but I cut him off, "the only fair way now is a rock off."

He quirked a brow, "scissors, paper, rock?" I nodded, "alright." We held out our fists and looked each other in the eyes.

"Scissors, paper, rock!" We chanted and then made our choice. Rock don't fail me now. I looked down and so did Edward. He groaned, I grinned. He was holding out scissors.

"Looks like you get the ass sheets." I grinned. He groaned and picked them up. I followed him out to get some nice clean sheets.

I heard Edward washing his hands as I made my way back to my room. I let out an evil chuckle. My phone let out its pre-ring vibrate and I snatched it up without even looking at the caller ID.

Big mistake.

Rule number one: always check caller ID.

"Isabella, why have you not rung me back yet? I've been sitting by the phone all morning waiting for your call. I'm just dying with curiosity about your boy!" Renee started talking down the phone before I even said hello.

"Oh, hello to you to mom. I'm fine school is well, I broke my foot yesterday. How is your life?" I spoke to her sarcastically.

"Bella, now is not the time to play with me. I almost rung the airport for a ticket this morning, you should be thankful Phil was here to stop me." That comment made me freeze as I made my way back into my room. Edward was already in there and he took the pile of sheets off of me and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Renee," I mouthed. He nodded and began stuffing my pillows into the new cases.

"Bella, are you listening to me? Oh my god he's there now isn't he?" I nodded but I knew she couldn't see that. Renee didn't seek confirmation she just kept going with her rambling.

"I bet he's tall and muscular. Is he a bad boy? I could just see you falling for a bad boy. I always did. Until I met Charlie, he was the opposite of bad wanting to be a policeman and all. I think that's why we never worked. I was always looking for the danger and Charlie was always there getting rid of it before I could meet it. Now, Phil he is definition bad boy. I could tell you stories about the places we've been caught ha-"

"Mom!" I knew she was going to say sex and I really didn't need those mental pictures.

"Did you say you broke your foot?" Renee could change the subject quicker than the wind.

"Uh yeah..."

"Was it during sex? Because bad boys always,"

"Mom, I fell. Please don't make me hang up on you!"

"Just tell me you and Edward are being safe." I was about to hit end when she caught my attention.

"Uh, we haven't, how do you know Edward's name? Actually how do you know at all?"

"Oh you know, just through the grapevine. Honestly I'm thankful for it otherwise I'm not sure whether I would've found out at all."

"I would've told you mom."

"I know, I know."

"So who's in this grapevine of yours?"

"Well I heard it from Lillian on Facebook."

"Lillian, Rose's mom, wait Facebook!" Renee just keeps surprising me with her technology. Gone are the days of her power cord 'running away'.

"Yes, Phil turned me onto it."

"Wow." I was in awe.

"I know, I'll add you!" Uh oh. She sounded excited. No kid wants a parent snooping around their Facebook, but Renee, who knows what sort of pictures she posts. I shivered.

"No, that's alright."

She laughed, "Yes I guess there are just some things I don't want you to see." I felt sorry for all her friends.

"Anyway Lillian?" I wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Oh! She heard it from Esme who heard it from Carlisle who was your doctor I'm assuming, but also the father of your boy." My jaw was dropped wide. "Lillian also told me that Esme told her that Emmett's proposing soon!" She squealed.

"Is nothing sacred anymore? Can't you gossips keep secrets?" I really didn't want the surprise ruined for Rose.

"Please Bella, all I've got is sex and gossiping wh-"

"Goodbye mom." I hung up. I drew the line at her mentioning sex more than once. I threw my phone down on the bed looking at it like it could kill me with the things it passes onto my ears.

"Bad conversation?" Edward asked picking up my phone and placing it on the bedside table so he could throw the sheet on the bed.

"I don't think so, well no in Renee terms, Bella terms, yes. She kept talking about sex and if we were being safe." Edward just laughed, "Thanks for being supportive Edward."

"No problems," he flashed me his _dazzling_ smile, "you can also assure Renee that when we do have sex we'll be safe."

"That's good, she'll be ecstatic upon." I let the sarcasm come through clear and rolled my eyes at his smirking, proud face. I then said the next part with my eyes dropped and in a slight whisper, "and besides I'm on birth control." I looked up at Edward who was smiling supportively.

He then added, "And Wal-Mart has a wonderful array of condoms."

I blushed, "Edward!"

He laughed and kept going, "And so does your purse." I threw a pillow at him it hit him mildly in the stomach. He fell forward onto the bed acting like he was shot or something. I flopped down next to him and grinned at him.

"Oh, shut up Edward, I obviously wasn't the only one rooting for action last night. Commando Cullen." I saluted him.

He rolled over onto his stomach, hiding his face in my covers. "Shut up Bella." He pulled me into his side and bent up his head to look at me. His cheeks were slightly tinged pink and I giggled at his embarrassment.

He kissed me briefly before Alice burst in. Grinning.

* * *

_**A/N Hello, how are you and did you enjoy this chapter? Favourite parts? I'd be interested in how many of you would like a lemon, I've never done one before, so it could be interesting, tell me your thoughts.  
Wait, what is that I hear? Re, Re, Re, Review?**_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"Alice!" I hissed. "Door closed means you cannot come in."

"Bella, door closed suggests I cannot come in, door locked means I definitely cannot enter." She appeased.

"New rule, door closed means you cannot enter unless the house is burning down."

"What if there like a serial murderer?"

"Well then I'm hiding in my cupboard, not running directly to him." I told her like it was common knowledge.

"You're not even going to try and run from him?" She asked.

"Well if you're banging on the door it must mean he is in close range so, no, because knowing me it would just end bad. Let's just say I think you've more chance in that situation." She nodded in agreement.

"Oh, hey Alice." Edward said, confused and annoyed slightly at her entrance and our banter, "how about you tell us what that cheesy grin is about."

Alice scoffed, "Oh please Edward, don't act so cockblocked, it's not like you were going to _do_ Bella or anything." She said sitting down on the edge of my bed facing us. I rolled over onto my stomach so I didn't have to look at her upside down.

"How do you know that I wasn't about to _do_ Bella?" He asked.

"She's broken."

I laughed, "You did say we wouldn't have sex until I'm cast free."

"Yes Bella," he whispered, "_sex,_" I shivered. From the way he was looking at me I just knew that when he said sex he meant full blown sex, kissing and _touching _on the other hand...

"Alice," I said frustrated now, "what do you want?"

"Oh I just have some gossip I thought you'd be interested in."

I squirmed, ok, dammit, I'll admit; I'm interested. "Spill." I saw Edward's head fall back down onto my mattress when I moved to sit awkwardly on the bed to hear the gossip.

"So Emmett is going to propose to Rose tonight." She squealed/whispered. I rolled my eyes.

"I already knew th- wait, tonight, tonight!" Alice was nodding, "How do you know this?" I asked sceptically.

"Jasper told me, how do you know?" I shrugged.

"I have informants." My eyes shifted briefly over to Edward. I hoped Alice wouldn't catch that, but she did.

Her eyes widened and she whispered, "Inside job." I swear her eyes were twinkling.

"Ok Alice, what time does this go down?" I'm thinking of cracking out the 'stake-out mobile'.

"Emmett is picking her up at seven and she thinks they're going to a movie."

"But they're actually going to..."

"You know that car show that's been in town this weekend," I nodded, " it' closing night and let's just say there's a M3 red convertible on show and Emmett's got brilliant connections." My jaw dropped and Alice nodded.

...

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice chastised. I looked down, my clothing was all fine. I'm dressed in all black and so is Alice, head to toe, beanie and all. I had to stop her from putting mascara on our cheeks to make 'tribal' lines. We are spying on Emmett and Rose, so far we haven't seen them yet, but we know they are definitely here. We saw Em's Jeep.

But I don't think it was my attire Alice was yelling at me for. I was hiding behind a bush, no I was, "being a bush." I told her.

"Well stop, you're drawing attention." I rolled my eyes, _yes mom_.

"What about those two?" I jerked my finger behind me to Jasper and Edward who were, in no sense of the word, disguised.

"What the hell are you doing?" Alice screeched at them in an overdramatised whisper, "Get down." Jasper and Edward stared at her like she'd just been let out of the loony bin. So, of course when you are confronted by a potential crazy you do exactly as they wish, they crouched down next to Alice and I.

"Why are we here?" Edward asked me.

"That's a very soul stretching question there, Edward. Further elaboration may be required."

He rolled his eyes, plastered on a grin and said, "Why are we spying on Rose."

"Oh, much simpler question. Freshman year of college we decided, in a very drunk stupor, that if we ever got word that one of us was going to be proposed to that the other two would spy." Edward nodded like he understood, but I could see he couldn't. "Probably not the best judgement on our parts, but our reasoning is that if the 'proposee' wanted to say no, the stalkers, a.k.a. us, would save her."

"But I don't think Rose will want to say no." I just shrugged. Alice and I both knew that but we just really wanted to see how Emmett would pull this off.

"Ok, we need to split up." Alice sighed.

"But that's how people die in action movies." Both the boys laughed. I turned and glared at them and they both died down immediately. I turned back around to see Alice doing the same thing, but hers was ten times worse. I let out a short giggle and refocused on our 'mission'.

"Ok, Bella, you and Edward go inside and look around, Jazz and I will patrol the grounds." I nodded and took Edward's hand and we made our way inside while Alice and Jasper slinked away and into the bushes.

"Do we have to do this Bella, it feels wrong." Edward whined as we walked past endless shiny, expensive cars.

"Yep."

"Why, would you like Alice and Rose spying on you while you got proposed to?"

"I don't know." I hadn't really thought about it.

"I would definitely not want Emmett watching." He shivered animatedly, "He'd probably break out into song."

I laughed, "But when have you ever known Em and Rose to be shy?"

He thought about it before saying, "I don't know. Emmett lets it _all_ hang out."

"So does Rose. One time I didn't shower for two whole days because I knew Rose and Emmett had _been_ in there and they refused to clean it. I had to refuse them food for a clean shower."

He shivered again, "I don't even want to think about that."

We continued walking around. Edward's eyes sometimes lingered on a shiny beast, but they didn't stray for too long. I told him that he could look closer but all he would do was hold my hand tighter and shake his head. We headed over to a large corner near an open roller door. I was thinking that Em and Rose would be over here.

"Oh shit." I said as I spotted _him_. I turned around and walked straight into Edward.

"Em and Rose?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Mike."

"He sounds familiar." I started dragging Edward away when I saw Emmett and Rose getting into the M3.

"Ah, shit." Mike, or Em and Rose, A or B? Oh let's face it, I'd take Rosalie's torture over Mike's anything any day.

"The party, that first day. He was the one you were talking to when you rang me."

"Would you like to test drive the Romeo, sir?"

I smiled brightly at the man in the suit, which probably cost more than my house, and said, "We would actually." I grabbed Edward's hand and brought him to attention.

"Not that car, sir." Edward said in a tone that left no room for argument. I looked at him strangely but he was avoiding my eyes. "How about this one here?" He pointed to the yellow one in front.

"Yes sir, the Porsche." Said the man and handed him the keys, well after Edward and I filled out shitloads of paperwork and had our driver's licenses and credit cards made copies, just in case we stole or totalled the car, I suppose. If we do in fact total the car I wish them all the luck with _my_ credit card.

"Can I drive?" I asked Edward.

"Only if I get to drive it on the way back." He grinned. This was exciting! I rolled the car out of the roller doors. It was so smooth. I think I'm in love. So much better than my truck.

"So, Mike?" Edward prompted and I rolled my eyes. _Don't do that Bella, you can't afford to pay if you crash because you rolled your eyes!_ Only I could cause a car crash that way.

"Ugh, he's not worth the worry. He's like a mosquito, only I don't have a big enough fly swatter." I looked over at Edward. His arms were crossed, was he... "You're not jealous, are you?"

"Pft, no way." He waved his hand through the air, "Well, maybe. I just don't want him bothering you."

"He won't."

"Good." Edward sighed. I giggled. He was totally jealous. Of Mike of all people. Imagine how many people I should probably be jealous of due to Edward.

"How many people have you slept with?" I asked him. It just came out, I hadn't meant to make it a vocal thought, so I blushed, "You don't have to answer." I added. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know. A man like Edward Cullen could do anywhere from 8 to...

"Three." _Three?_

"Really?" I turned to look at him.

"Why does that shock you?" He laughed.

"Because you're _Edward Cullen_."

"Because of the name my parents chose for me?"

I shook my head, "I just thought it would be more."

He laughed, "Bella, I'm 20, I think three is enough."

"What were their names?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, "What? I want all the details." I rolled my eyes. _Nice, stalker Bella._ "I'm just curious."

He gave me an apprehensive look but answered anyway, "Uh, Tanya, senior year, we dated that year too, blonde, my first, broke up with me two weeks later deciding we'd be better as friends."

"Ouch."

He laughed, "She was totally right. We still talk every now and then."

"Ok, so talking with the ex, I'll watch that one. Number two?"

He shifted uncomfortably, "Uh, her name was, probably still is, Lauren, we dated a long time. Sort of a long story." He didn't meet my eyes and I had a feeling this one was his last relationship.

I followed the M3 down a neglected road and into a huge car park that overlooked the Seattle skyline. I hung back and parked near a bush.

"Last one is Leanne, or Lori, Leah?" Edward said suddenly, pausing. I laughed and he grinned back. I was a little confused by the mood swing but I let it slide, "She definitely had black hair, she was, uh, a moody one. Feisty."

"One night stand."

"Lauren rebound." I nodded and squeezed his hand. I knew he'd tell me, just later, not in a borrowed car while we spied on our friends. "A break from the blondes." Ah, so Lauren was also blonde.

"Well, I have brown hair."

He laughed at my obvious statement, "I know." He mocked and I stuck my tongue out, "Bella, you're different." He _smiled_, "Your turn."

"Ugh, ok." I cringed at my dating history, or lack thereof. "Tyler was my first. We dated for six months. Broke up because it got boring and Mike," I shivered, "was the last. Party, New Years, I got totally wasted and let's just say I wish I could really take that one back."

"That's all."

"You make it seem like there should be."

"Well, with all those condoms you buy-"

"Edward!" I stared at him shocked. He was laughing at me and then popped my jaw back together with his fingers. I frowned playfully at him and he just grinned wider. I turned to face out the front window, not really looking at anything but the glass. "Bella, kill the lights."

"What?" I asked but turned them, and the car, off anyway. I squinted into the darkness.

"See." Edward pointed and my eyes adjusted. It was Em and Rose in the M3, the roof was now down. They were looking out at the Seattle skyline. It looked quite cheesy, but I knew Rose would love it. Oh, who was I kidding? Rose could be looking at a pile of garbage and be in that car with Emmett and still love it.

Edward and I watched them as they sat there in silence, well I suppose they were talking, but I couldn't hear them. Emmett's arm was around Rose's shoulders. I wanted to hear what they were talking about!

"Bella," Edward whispered, "crack the window, it's getting hot in here." _So take off all your clothes._

Oh, sorry, natural instinct.

"Ok." I slowly turned the key so only the windows would be able to roll down without the ignition starting. We didn't particularly want to be caught. I rolled down the windows and then turned the car off again.

The breeze did feel good. I could hear Emmett talking, but I couldn't distinguish any words. "Can't hear." I strained and leaned my head out the window.

Edward caught my hand and hissed, "Bella."

"I just want to hear what his saying." He gave me a look which said _be careful_. I had half my body out of the car and I could hear a little better, but I was also leaning into a bush, which was quite annoying. It made my nose tingle.

Emmett said something and Rose pulled away from him. _Uh oh._ She looked at him before he dug something out of his pocket. _A ring?_ Rose's hands covered her mouth and she screamed. Now _that_ I could hear. She threw her arms around Emmett and kissed him. I could hear her shouting yes repeatedly.

I started to move back into the car, my hair got caught in the flowery plant but I pulled it away easily. I knew I was smiling. "Wasn't that sweeeet?" I dragged out the last word as my nose tingled again. I rubbed it, trying to disperse the feeling.

"Bella, you've got shrubbery in your hair." He reached over and pulled a couple of leaves and white flower bits out of my hair and tossed them out his window. I rubbed my nose. "Bella, are you ok?"

I started to nod when the tingling increased. I sneezed. Really hard. So hard that my head jerked forward and hit the steering wheel. Well, not the steering wheel per se, more like the horn. I'm telling you now, new cars have _really_ sensitive horns.

"Oh shit." Edward said. I looked out the front window. Emmett and Rose were turned about looking at the spying car. Us.

"Abort, abort, abo-" I sneezed again and again my head hit the horn. That was followed by a serious of consecutive mini sneezes, none of which happened to hit the horn, but managed to make Em and Rose get out the car and make their way over to us. I sniffled and tried to reverse the car but before I even got the key in the ignition Rose was at my window, Emmett at Edward's.

"Oh, hey guys. What are you doing here?" I asked them nonchalantly.

"Nice night, isn't it?" Edward added. "We didn't know you two were here."

"Did you guys hear my sneeze fit? Now that was extraordinary."

"Mhm." Rose was not impressed.

Emmett decided to entertain our notions, "Yes, we did. How did you guys find out about this place?"

"Oh, from a friend of a friend." Edward's eyes shifted to mine. I nodded.

Rose's arms were folded and that's when the glint hit my eye. "Oh my God, Rosalie, what is that?" I grabbed her hand and looked at the gorgeous ring. "It's pretty."

"I know." She gushed before remembering that she was meant to be mad at me. She cleared her throat, try to be tough again, "go home you two before you see something you _really_ don't want to see."

"Fine, will you be staying at Emmett's?" Rose nodded swiftly, "Ok, see you later. Congratulations, guys, really." Rose beamed at me and I started to reverse the car out.

"Wait, stop!" Edward said quickly and I slammed the breaks.

"What!" I screamed.

Edward smiled, "You said I could drive."

"You gave me a heart attack!" I slapped his arm with each word I said

"Sorry, sorry." He laughed, I got the feeling that he wasn't sorry at all though. We did switch seats, even though I was considering not because of the stunt he pulled and because it was beautiful to drive.

"Onward home, Edward!" I pointed and he drove me back to my place after we gave back the car and got into Edward's mobile cube.

I threw my house keys and phone on the table. My phone, being mine, decided to skid across, onto the floor and under something. I'm sure of it.

I shrugged it off and collapsed on the couch. I started to shrug off the leather boot that was forced upon my uninjured foot. Edward helped me and then sat next to me.

"Do you want to play scrabble?"

_What the fuck?_

I mentally slapped the voice and looked the other way.

_A perfect specimen of a man has collapsed on your couch and you've decided to use your BRAIN?_

Oh boy, I've angered V. V being... oh you know, 'down below'. I'm sure thoughts like _that_ were not coming from the logical side of my brain.

"Sure, where is it?" Edward answered and V huffed in annoyance

"I'll get it," I told him getting up. He stood also, "how about you get us some beers." Edward nodded and we both left the room. I grabbed the game out of the hall cupboard, ignoring the voice that kept telling me to just go back in there and jump the man. Brain won in the end and I walked back into the living room, ready for a night of scrabble.

Edward had moved the coffee table and pulled off the couch cushions and arranged then just like the night we _slept_ together.

_It's a sign. _

I shook my head, trying to rid V's voice and arranged the board and the tiles. Edward picked his seven and I picked mine.

"Ladies first." He smiled. I looked down at my tiles.

**L A G O E P S**

"Long." I put my tiles down. I glanced up at Edward, who was smiling as he looked down at his tiles

"Touch." Edward put his down next

"Taste."

"Lick."

"See."

"Curl."

The game continued on like this, the words getting stranger and stranger and the sexual connotation behind each word becoming more prominent each time.

_Or maybe V just made me see it that way._

I swore that I had seen Edward shift himself numerous times. I didn't blame him, the pictures that sprung into my mind with each word were getting more and more _interesting_.

It was my turn and all I could see **T U S** lined up in a line and that I had fell right in front of me. My tiles were **R** **H E T O U F**.

I know I could make use, or usual, but the word that screamed at me was THRUST. Why? I blame V.

Brain was screaming: _usual, usual, usual!_

V on the other hand was rooting for thrust. She has a one track mind.

I swallowed and picked up **H R T** and laid them down on the board. I slowly looked up at Edward who was still looking down at the tiles. I leaned in.

It was Edward's turn and he was just sitting there, staring at the tiles as they screamed out _fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!_ I shook my head again. V was getting to my brain.

"Edward." I slowly stretched my hand out across to his and touched the back of his hand. His head snapped up as the electricity sizzled between our hands. "Y-your turn." He was looking into my eyes so hard it made me swallow twice.

_Practice_. Chimed V.

"Bella." Edward said, his voice husky. I swallowed again. My mouth was dry. I reached for my beer, but I knew it was empty as I had downed it between curl and push.

Edward slowly leaned forward and I leaned back. My bad foot was near his knee and my other was curled inward upon myself. He moved slowly over the board until he was on all fours, in front of me.

My breathing was coming out fast, while his came out in controlled breaths. I could smell him. His breath washed over my face leaving me in a slight daze. It smelt like beer mixed with spearmint.

We stared at each other. We were still. I blinked and Edward licked his lips and brushed back a loose piece of hair over my ear. Then we attacked each other.

Edward sprung forward capturing my lips with his; my hands went to his hair, holding his face to mine with power I hoped he wouldn't break. He held his weight on his knees and let one hand hold my cheek while the other wandered down to my hip. I slid as close to him as I could and let myself fall backwards onto the floor, holding Edward to me in hope that he too would fall, on top of me.

Luck was on my side as I managed to pull Edward down. His hand slipped around my back, my shirt riding up, and Edward's hand pushed me into him. I wrapped my good leg around his waist, pushing myself into him further.

"Mhm." I hummed as Edward's lips travelled across my jaw. His teeth nibbled my ear and I pulled myself closer to Edward. His tongue swirled down my neck, sucking and nipping. His nose moved my shirt as he continued to my collarbone. I gasped and arched as his teeth grazed over the hollow on my collarbone.

"Bella, you taste so good." He murmured.

I started pulling his button down shirt out of his jeans and running my hands around to his back. My fingertips encountered dimples. I brushed over them and Edward's head dropped to my shoulder and he whimpered. I grew more impatient and moved my hands around to the front of his jeans. His hands stilled me and he pulled back. I frowned at the loss of contact.

Edward was frowning too, "Bella, I can't," I stopped moving and let my eyes slide shut, a hint of rejection clawing its way into my brain. I felt his head drop to my ear and he whispered, "Not while you're broken Bella." My eyes snapped open. He pulled away and kissed me on the lips, "I can't do the things I want to. I need you strong, for those." His lips fluttered the words against mine and my heart stuttered.

"But I want you." Our foreheads were touching and the tip of his nose skimmed mine.

"I want you too, Bella." I lifted my hips just so I could _feel_ how much he wanted me. I grinned.

"Edward, take me to my bedroom."

"Bella," he sighed. His eyes were watching his hands as they gripped my hips. His thumbs moving in circles over the flesh there, I held in a moan so I could get the next words out.

"Just do it." I squeezed my leg, pressing him into me. He growled and somehow scooped me into his arms effortlessly. Edward took me into my room, laid me down on the bed and locked the bedroom door. I hastily took off the walking boot and scooted up against the pillows as Edward crawled up to me.

He was hovering over me now, "Edward, we don't have to have sex tonight," I said as I wrapped my good leg around him and my arms around his neck, "but that doesn't mean we can't do other things."

The look in his eyes this morning when Alice had 'cockblocked' us was present in my mind.

"Just you." Edward mumbled, his head in the crook of my neck and his fingers stroking my ribs. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"What?" I asked him, distracted, as I let the silky bronze fall through my fingers.

"We're just doing you tonight." I said as he slipped away from my neck and down my body. He looked in my eyes as he descended down my body. The green pools were soft and littered with desire.

My shirt had ridden up so it was just below my underwire. His fingers danced across the exposed skin. His lips followed slowly and purposefully kissing down and across my ribcage to my belly button and the button of my jeans.

"Isn't that defeating the purpose?" I asked, barely, as his fingers massaged my waist and his nose circled my belly button. My hands flattened on the bed and my heart sped up.

"No." He chucked as I pushed into the fingers that he was teasing me with. Two were dipped into my jeans and were running from hip to hip. I whimpered slightly whenever they just passed the soft skin just past my hips.

"What about you?" I asked as he looked into my eyes, questioningly. His eyes were dark and his long fingers were on the button of my jeans. His look told me he wanted this and his eyes were asking permission. I nodded eagerly looking at his fingers and imagining what they could do.

"I want tonight to be about you Bella." He slowly slipped the zipped down and I wriggled readily. He pulled my jeans down and I thanked Alice that she kept me stocked in Victoria's Secret.

I thought I would be nervous about this but when Edward started to pull down the lacy boy shorts I all but cheered him. I waited, tingling, for whatever he was going to do to me. I didn't expect his tongue though. He pressed it, flat, and ran it slowly up my slit. My hips jerked up as he circled my clit.

My hands tugged on his hair as he licked and sucked and flicked and teased and tasted. Edward was now moving his hands from my hips down the top of my thigh, circling at the knees and then letting his fingers of his right hand trail, slowly, back up the inside of my thigh. My hands twisted and dug into the bedspread with anticipation. His fingers were leaving a burning trail. My breaths were laboured as his tongue swept over my nerves and he slipped his long fingers inside of me. I bucked instantly as they hit the spot and I saw Edward smirk.

I tried to watch the bronze hair between my thighs, loving when his green eyes would catch mine, letting me see what he was feeling. But my eyes rolled back when Edward's fingers increased their pace, breaking that contact. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach, the building, the coil starting to wind.

"Edward." I moaned, low and guttural. Edward was watching me now, his green eyes piercing my brown ones when I could hold them to his. His teeth grazing my clit caused my head to roll back into the pillows.

"Bella, I love how you taste." He murmured.

He hummed and the vibrations set me off. I arched as the coil snapped. Edward didn't stop until I did and then slowly crawled back up to me. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. I could taste myself on his lips. I hummed myself, "thank you." I told him and he _smiled_.

"It was my pleasure." His eyes were smouldering and I could see the smugness in the green depths. He affectionately kissed me cheek, forehead, lips, nose, my whole face. He was proud and I loved it.

"Can I help you?" Edward had way too many clothes on for my liking. Edward was pulling my sheets down and I slid in between the awkwardly. I rolled myself onto his stomach as he joined me under the covers.

"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of tonight being about you?

"No."

Edward shook his head.

"But you're uncomfortable." I knew if I shifted I would _feel_ Edward, but I also knew that he was keeping himself distanced from me.

"It's tolerable, now let's sleep." He chuckled. He wrapped his arms around me preventing me from wriggling in the wrong direction. Pft, like I would try.

"Will you at least take your shirt off, for me?" I bent my head back to plead to him. "I'm sans pants, you should be sans shirt." I knew Commando Cullen wouldn't take off his pants too, so the shirt was the next best option.

Edward didn't even deliberate, he just sat up, causing me to roll onto my side, and took off his shirt, throwing it across the room. I lay back down on his bare chest.

I nuzzled into Edward and ran my fingers over his stomach. "Mm, night Edward." He smelt like soap and cinnamon. I breathed in deep.

His chest vibrated as he laughed, catching me smelling him. He kissed my temple, "Goodnight, Bella."

* * *

_**A/N Huge shout out to my Lemonade Tester jmolly, check out her Unforseen Events series, her lemons are better than mine.**_

**_Please review, all you lurkers out there, now would be a great time to come out of the dark, I'm nervous about this chapter._**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

I couldn't breathe. Something large was resting on my ribcage. And something was tickling my nose. I rubbed my hand over my nose, passing the softness that was causing the tickling. I battered at the tickling sensation, trying to get it away from my nostrils. I hit something hard and then the heavy object on my ribcage groaned and dug itself further into my chest.

Maybe I should open my eyes.

I tried to, but I was seriously tired. Oh, to hell with it! The heavy, large, tickling object smelled divine, so it can just stay where it is. And despite the fact that I'm too tired to open my eyes that as the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.

Though I do feel like there is something I am forgetting.

Like maybe, where the heavy, large, tickling, divine smelling object came from. Soap and cinnamon, I know I've smelt the two before, recently too. Holy shit, what did I do last night to make me forget something like this?

I do remember having an awesome dream last night though. Edward was there and he... let's just say it was the best god damn dream of my entire life. Better than the time I dreamt I fell into a vat of spearmint chocolate chip. Mm, ice cream.

"Mm, Bella." Mumbled the heavy, large, tickling, divine 'smells like' soap and cinnamon object.

Wait, objects don't mumble!

Unless you include the Furby I had when I was younger, but that was more of a distinctive evil growl. Because, of course, all Furbys are the root of pure evil.

No, no, this mumble had a familiar voice. The object squeezed my waist and "mm'ed" again. Funny, Edward had that same moan in my dream last night...

My eyes flicked open and I was greeted with his bronze mop. So, it WASN'T A DREAM!

Hell yeah! Yes, I did just do a mental high five.

I ran my fingers through his hair. Silky smooth, I wonder what type of conditioner he uses...

I scoffed at myself and let my fingers trail down his bare back, over his shoulder blades and down his spine. I wanted to continue, but I could only get about halfway because his body was preventing my movements. Funnily enough though, I wasn't complaining.

"Mm, Bella." He mumbled again. I tilted my head, his eyes were still closed. Is he dreaming about me? Oh, please let it be a sex dream that turns into reality!

This could be an interesting morning.

"Mm, Edward." I whispered into his ear. He pressed his face harder into my chest. I actually hoped he never left.

"Mm." Was all I got in response. I giggled quietly and ran my fingers through his hair, remembering when I had tugged on it.

I had never been a morning person, but if I got to wake up this way for the rest of my days, pantless with Edward suffocating me, then I'd die a happy woman.

MMRRUMPH!

I jumped while Edward sucked in a sharp, quick breath. He reached out his right arm and splayed it around. I watched his brows furrow, confused, when he met bed sheets. It was quite comical actually. I stretched my arm out towards the bedside table, trying to grab my vibrating phone. It was the silent alarm that was really only silent if it was hanging in mid air and even still I'm pretty sure you could hear it's obtrusive vibrations.

Sadly though I couldn't reach, and I knew I should be getting up. Today was Monday.

"Turn off alarm." Edward slurred.

"Can't reach." With Edward still on top of me my wiggle room was limited.

Edward whimpered and lifted his head off my chest and grinned at me sleepily.

"Hey." He said.

"Good morning." I grinned and leaned in for a quick peck. Had to be careful about morning breath you see.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and then rolled onto his back. I giggled as the cool air hit my naked butt. The alarm was still vibrating too.

"Edward, you forgot to get the alarm." He groaned and rolled me back onto my back. With all this rolling I was getting a little heated, especially when Edward rolled a certain way which caused _him_ to press against me.

He stretched out an arm and snatched the phone, turning it off and dropping it on the bed beside us. I picked it up. It was just past 7:30 and I had a class at 9 which I probably shouldn't miss.

"I've got a class today, what are you doing?"

Edward lifted his head and said, "I've got to go to work and then I've got class." He pouted. I kissed the pout.

"Then I think we should get up."

"But, I don't want to!" He whined like a four year old. I rolled my eyes.

"Tough, I going to go shower now, want to join?" I asked boldly. Inside I blanched at my confidence, shrivelled up and rocked in the corner, but on the outside I kept my face positive which caused Edward's eyes to darken and lick his lips.

He was probably thinking the same think as I was. Wet, slippery _naked_.

"Ok, but leave your underwear on."

"Why?" I wanted to be naked with Edward.

Edward's eyes had an evil glint in them, "I'll meet you in there."

He got off me and darted out the door, grabbing his pants on the way out.

I can't believe he just left. Who knew all it took was shower time to get him to wake up fully. I slipped out of bed and pulled on my underwear from last night and made my way to the shower.

I turned on the hot water and waited for the temperature to become just right. I pulled off my shirt and stood under the warm stream in my undies. It felt kind of weird.

I was running my fingers through my dampening hair when arms surrounded my waist. I turned around expecting _Edward_, but I was greeted with disappointment.

Edward had somehow found a pair of white boxer briefs.

"Where did _those_ come from!" I shrieked. He laughed at the disappointment that was clear on my face.

"Did you turn around and just look straight at my crotch?"

Well, _yes_, but he doesn't need to know that. I stared him down and he changed tactics.

"Do you really think it's fair that I go commando while you are semi-clothed?"

"We could've gone commando together." The whine in my voice was evident and again Edward chuckled, reaching past me to grab my shampoo.

He poured a decent amount into his hand and then reached up and started to lather up my hair. As the foam reacted with my wet hair he started playing with it. My arms were across my chest and I'm pretty sure my hair was shaped into a Mohawk when he still hadn't answered my question.

"Well?" I asked, pouting too.

"Because shower sex is dangerous enough with two working legs." He pointed down to my cast, which I had to cover from the water. I knew he was right. I don't know if I could wrap my legs around him with a dud foot but he didn't need to know that I thought he was right.

"Showering together naked doesn't always lead to shower sex, Edward." I rolled my eyes, "Is that the only thing on your mind?" I harrumphed indignantly, "men." I reached up to help Edward wash the shampoo out of my hair.

"Yes, with you, always." He smirked and I laughed at his confidence. I knew somewhere in that statement there was some truth.

"I can see that." My eyes flicked down to his jocks where a prominent bulge was forming. "Do you want some help with that?" I asked.

Conflict crossed his eyes before he answered with, "not this morning." He kissed me on the forehead. I knew I was frowning but I had to reason that he said no because shower business can be dangerous, especially with my current foot problem and because I had a feeling that we were late. We spent the rest of the shower washing quickly.

We got out and dried quickly too. We walked back into my room and Edward gathered up his clothes on the floor. I grabbed some jeans and a shirt.

"I'll let you get dressed in here." I said and then made my way back into the bathroom, breathing heavily. Edward wears his towel dangerously low on his hips.

I stripped myself of the wet bra and undies and went to ring them out in the sink. I was surprised to find there a wet pair of briefs. The ones Edward was wearing. I picked them up. I wonder where he got them from.

I dressed quickly and went to meet Edward, who was sitting on my bed, lacing his shoes.

"Where did you actually get these from?" I asked him holding them up.

"Jasper." He said and I dropped them.

"Ew!"

"They were clean Bella." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but he's still worn them at least once before in his life."

"Probably." I wrinkled my nose.

Edward shrugged and left my room. I followed him and watched him chuck them into the washing machine along with Alice's load.

"Edward!"

"What? Jasper told me to do this."

"Alice will not be impressed." She didn't like washing Jasper's laundry for some reason. I guess it's because she separates her clothes in weird ways and boxers just don't fall into any of those categories.

"Yes, but Jasper's going to be the one who gets in trouble." He winked at me. "Breakfast?" I nodded and we made our way into the kitchen.

"Morning." Alice chimed. Edward walked in behind me, still in the same clothes as yesterday and greeted Alice and Jasper.

Alice sprang on this and said, "Good morning Edward." She looked at me.

"Coffee?" Jasper asked. I really hope Alice marries him. Not only does he offer me coffee as his form of greeting, but he steers away all sexual conversation that is dancing on Alice's tongue. Speaking of marriage...

"Do you guys know what happened last night?" I asked as Jasper slid a mug of caffieney goodness across to me.

Alice folded her arms and pouted, "No because _someone_," she looked at me angrily, "forgot to text me when the action started happening!" Jasper rubbed her across the shoulders sympathetically with a slight smirk on his face.

"Well I can't text and drive Alice, Charlie taught me better than that." Both Edward and Jasper stifled laughter and then left the kitchen. I stood there, mouth agape, as the retreated into the lounge room. Assholes, left me alone with the monster.

Alice rolled her eyes, "You had Edward, and speaking of Edward, what happened last night."

"With Rose and Em?" I asked, sipping my coffee. I did not want to discuss Edward and my personal affairs.

"No, between you and Edward." She laughed.

"Do you even want to know about Em and Rose?"

"Of course, but I also want to know about you and Edward."

"Well that's not going to happen." Her face fell.

"Just tell me why there is a scrabble board on the living room floor then." My eyes widened imagining all the crude words that Edward and I had laid down. "Was it strip scrabble? Because all the tiles are everywhere, did you have sex with Edward?" Her eyes glistened.

"No, we didn't have sex."

"Then what about the tiles?" She prodded further.

"I tripped?" It shouldn't have sounded like a question, but it did. Alice stared me down for what felt like forever before she finally leant back.

"Fine, tell me about Em and Rose."

I breathed a sigh of relief and went into a detailed version of the previous night's events.

After Alice ruined my ear drums with her squealing, I went to school. It felt weird to be here after the weekend and I was most definitely not looking forward to the day. I had to study.

After classes I went to the study hall and did just that. All was going well until I had hands snaking around my waist and lips on my neck. Edward.

"Can I take you home?" He asked.

"I really should study." His lips kissed around the shell of my ear. "Mhm, ok. I can always study at home."

Edward drove me home and walked me to my door.

"Hello." I called and got no answer. "Everyone must be out." I stated. "Do you want to stay, or do you have study?" I knew it was a lose-lose situation either way. He stayed and I didn't study, he left and I studied. Maybe that's a win-win situation?

"Don't you have to study?"

I shook my head while my lips said, "yes."

Edward rolled his eyes, "I'll study with you."

"Really?" Good turn of events, winfuckingwin!

"Yes, really," He laughed, "is it really that shocking that I wish to study with you?"

I just laughed as he sat down on the couch and picked up the revision sheet I'd made. I sat down next to him and curled my good foot under myself.

"Hey! Stop looking at the answers." Edward exclaimed and folded the paper in half.

"Fine, fine." I leaned back from him and he asked my first question.

I got it right, of course, I'm a genius, remember? Sorry.

Edward was asking the easier questions first and I was getting distracted. I found it fascinating to watch him read my sheet. To watch how he somehow managed to make eye contact with me at all times, only glancing down for the briefest of seconds to look at the page. I like how his brow would crinkle when he passed over a certain character's name, trying to get the correct pronunciation, I liked...

"Bella, are you listening?" Edward asked.

"No." He laughed, "Well, you're distracting and asking the easy questions."

"So you want me to be less distracting and ask harder questions?" I quirked and eyebrow because right now even I was confused.

"Yes." I think.

"The harder questions are written on red paper?" He chuckled.

"Red means danger, I thought it was fitting."

"Red can also mean passion." Edward countered.

"Well, maybe I'm passionate about the harder questions."

Edward _smiled_ and read quickly over the questions. "Some of these are technical."

"Hence the red paper." The red paper when for two pagers and that was just the questions, I had the answers on another piece of paper. Blue, supposedly for calming. And before you ask, yes all my revision notes are on coloured paper.

Edward started asking me the harder questions. I wasn't firing off correct answers like I did with the easier ones. It was making me frustrated. Edward could feel it.

"Alright, break time." Edward called and pulled me up off the couch. He led me into the kitchen and opened the fridge door. He stared in there and pulled out one of the pizza bases I had in there. "Pizza?" He asked.

"Deal."

We created the most magnificent mismatched pizza the world had ever seen. My side only had chicken, pineapple and cheese, where as Edward's had everything under the sun that he could pull out of the fridge and inflict on the pizza dough. I think there about three different lunch meats made it onto his side. We cheesed it and put it in the oven.

I sat atop the kitchen countertop while we waited for it to cook. Edward came over and stood between my thighs and kissed me unexpectedly. I smiled and leaned for more. Before it got a little too heated the phone rang.

I leaned back and answered the phone puffed.

"Bella, what have you been doing?" Alice laughed down the phone.

"Nothing."

"Mhm, anyway, I'm staying at Jazz's tonight. You've the place to yourself."

"Ok, have fun."

"Oh, I will." I could practically see her winking. "Goodnight Edward!" She added before she hung up at me.

"Alice says hi." I told Edward.

"No," He laughed, "I think she says goodnight." He leaned in and kissed me but again we were interrupted by the buzz of the oven.

We ate our respective halves before Edward broke the happy bubble with, "do you want to attempt the hard questions again?" I had revealed that I had the exam tomorrow afternoon, so now he was persistent that I get my fill of study.

He must've seen my hesitant face because he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

I shivered. "How?"

He leaned back, "Every three correct answer I'll remove a piece of clothing."

_I'm in._

"Strip study?" He nodded, "Deal."

We moved to the couch and started questioning again. Every time I got one wrong I Edward started the countdown again. I had argued that his socks were one entity, but I lost. The removal of his shirt made me more determined to get his pants off.

"Are we going commando today, Mr Cullen?" I asked. He blushed a little.

"I might be."

I want those pants off pronto.

Edward continued his attack.

"Wrong." My jaw dropped. I was not wrong. I had gotten the last two correct, so this was the jeans dropper. Edward had gone a little pink on the ears. He wasn't fooling me.

"No, you're lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"You don't want to get nekked."

"Bella, I would never lie to you about something that matters."

"Pft, this doesn't matter, now let me see the answer sheet."

"No."

"Edward!" I leapt forward and tried to pry the sheet out of his hands.

"No!"

"Ed-" Edward's lips found mine, attacking them aggressively.

I was already on his lap so I twisted so I could sit more comfortably. My teeth grazed his earlobe and I whispered, "I want that sheet."

He palmed me, his thumb brushing over my nipple through my thin t-shirt and I instinctively pressed myself closer into him.

"No." He whispered.

"Fine then I'll just have to torture it out of you." I kissed down his neck and down his chest.

I moved my mouth back to his, straddling him now. I found the dimples in his back near the top of his jeans that I had found yesterday night and brushed over them. Edward sucked on my lower lip and whimpered quietly. He kissed my collarbone as I panted breathlessly. I slowly ran a single finger down his chest.

"Can I?" I asked stroking the hair just below his bellybutton.

Edward moaned a strangled yes and I slowly undid his jeans. My fingers were shaking slightly with nerves. Edward ran his hands under my shirt and I wanted it off. Edward's hands were moving upward so I lifted my arms. His eyes watched mine as he lifted my shirt over my head. He kissed me and my hands returned to his zipper, which I undid. Slowly.

I took Edward out. My boy was gifted. I'm going to buy him a t-shirt. His eyes flashed to mine for a quick second and smiled to relieve the slight edge of worry his eyes held.

I swirled my hand over the top, gathering up the pre-cum that had gathered there and slowly stroked my hand down. Edward attached his mouth to my neck, sucking, as I stroked him up and down.

I moved my mouth to his, revelling in his spearminty taste. His hands were kneading my hips as I swirled my hand over him. His hips were thrusting in time with my strokes. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. He was breathless. I stared into his eyes and watched his face.

I cupped him and he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine for a brief moment. I could feel that he was close. His eyes flickered open and I watched them as he came all over his stomach.

We stared at each other. My heart was pounding. I was proud. Edward, he looked pretty please too. He kissed me roughly. I responded, surprised, and we kissed each other soppily.

I giggled as the sloppy kiss moved across my cheek and hooked onto my neck. I looked down at his stomach.

"Edward, you need to get clean." I laughed as he pushed me back onto my back. I picked his shirt off the ground and stuck to his stomach as he sprawled himself all over me and my couch. "Edward!" I was giggling now as peppered my neck and cheeks.

He wasn't listening so I pushed on his shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. "I don't want cum on my couch." I told him this very seriously but the giddy look in his eyes broke me and I laughed at the phrase.

He kissed me on the nose. "Alright, alright, I'll clean me." He got up went to my bathroom. I smiled, high on my giddiness, and began to pack up all my homework. Study time was over.

I was shifting papers when I heard my phone buzz. I picked it up without even looking at it. I should've looked at it because it wasn't even my phone.

"Hello."

"Hello, who is this?" I looked at the phone. It was Edward's and I was currently talking to his mother. _Where was the ringtone?_ Damnsilent ringtone!

"Hello." _Oh shit, do something Bella!_ I stopped hopping on my good foot and stopped waving my arms and put the phone to my ear.

"Hey," I dragged it out, "Mrs Cullen?"

"Yes."

"Yes, uh, I'm Bella, Edward's just in the bathroom. Sorry, I didn't realise..."

"Oh, Bella!" Well, she sounded pleased, "how are you?"

"I'm... well." I waited, "how are you?"

"Oh, I'm good." I waited again, praying that the phone would spontaneously combust in my hand, just to end the call. "Bella, while I've got you on the line I was wondering when you were available."

Unexpected... "Oh, uh, I suppose anytime after exams." I started to pull on my hair, just like Edward would.

"Brilliant, how about you and Edward come and visit, say the weekend after your exams?"

_What to do, think fast Bella!_

"Great, that sounds just... great."

"Great, see both of you then. Bye Bella." She hung up.

_Meeting the parents... great._

* * *

_**A/N Hey, so long time no see, sorry! Well, here's a chapter, next one will definitely come sooner, promise! As always read and REVIEW**_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Holy shit, Edward! I didn't know boxes could fly!" I belted out as he darted left and then zigzagged between two cars and then crossed over so he was in the right lane again. Yep, all that just to overtake two cars.

"What, Bella?" He looked at me.

"Eyes on the road!" I ordered and he rolled his before turning to look at the road.

I was gripping the seat for dear life, praying that this little box had air bags that would deploy and not kill us with asbestos in the case of a crash.

"Bella, you can relax." His fingers brushed over mine that were clenched into the chair.

"Are you driving slower?"

He hesitated, "Uh, yes?"

"Oh my god you are the worst liar."

"Not as bad as you." He counteracted, but I ignored it.

"Edward, can you please slow down?"

"No." He chuckled. I really did not see how almost dying could be amusing. A rollercoaster at Disneyland didn't even go this fast.

"What can I do to make you slow down? Take my top off? Give you road head? Something, anything?" I was pleading now.

"Well road head has been known to make a car slow down," Edward chuckled and I undid my seatbelt.

His hand clasped the belt as it threatened to slide back. He plugged it back in and I felt his foot ease off the accelerator. I sighed and relaxed, slightly, back into my seat.

"I wasn't being serious, Bella."

"Well I was."

"You don't like my fast driving?" He asked and I snorted.

"Just as much as I like getting my cooter waxed." This caused Edward to laugh. Really hard, so hard he closed his eyes. "Open your eyes. Geez who taught you to drive, a blind nun?"

"My father actually." He mused. Exams were over and after some... _really good_ study sessions I feel confident about them. What I was doing now. Eh, not so much. Except meeting my boyfriend's parents!

"Great Edward, make me more nervous."

"Bella, it'll be fine." I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, have you met me? I don't exactly make the best first impressions." His lips twitched.

I sighed, "go on, say whatever you're itching to say."

"As long as you don't scream, 'I'm not a nymphomaniac' at my parents, then I'm sure they'll love you all the same."

"Thanks Edward, build the self esteem, now I can't get those words out of my head."

_Nymphomaniac, nymphomaniac, nymphomaniac!_

"Why are you so nervous? You've met my dad before."

"Yes, but he had to be nice to me then."

"No he didn't."

"Yes he did."

"Well if it's any consolation he was being himself and he seemed to like you."

"Edward, you said 'seemed', what does that mean?"

"Were you really going to give me road head?"

"What, you're changing the subject!"

"No, I'm not," I gave him a look which clearly said, 'oh really'. He continued, "No, because you changed it earlier, so I'm getting it back on track."

I looked at him bewildered, unsure as to what I was going to say. Would I really give Edward a blow job just to get him to slow down?

"Probably." Was my final answer, "Why'd you stop me?"

"Because when I said that road head would slow the car I meant that I'd probably hit the brakes causing a complete stop." I rolled my eyes.

"Overreaction."

"Oh well, it doesn't matter now, we're almost here. Wouldn't want to meet my parents with dried cum around your mouth, would you? It'd worse that your nympho intro." He laughed. I turned my head towards the window and wiped my mouth despite the fact that I knew there'd be anything that had dried around it.

Edward pulled into a driveway of a huge white house and my jaw dropped. My shack could fit into this about six times.

"You grew up here?" It kicked ass out of Charlie's and Renee's big time.

"Yes." Edward was nervous now. I think I might've given him all of those nerves because I was spitting confidence now.

"Wow, it's amazing." Edward's parents lived on the outskirts of the city.

Edward took my hand and walked me up the driveway.

"You're not nervous, are you?" Edward asked.

"Nope." I smiled at him and he relaxed. He turned the door handle and just walked into the house.

"You're not going to knock?" I asked him.

"Why, mum knows we're coming."

"Yes, but we're early."

"So?"

"It's still your parents' house." He gave me a look that told me he didn't understand, "They could be doing something."

"Like what?" My poor boyfriend was incredibly naive in this moment. He probably still thinks the stork brought him just so his parents didn't have sex.

"Remind me to tell you a story later about my mother."

He nodded and called, "Hello."

A young woman with the same auburn coloured hair skited around the corner hurriedly not too long after Edward called.

She patted herself down, flustered from whatever was happening in the kitchen. Dr Cullen walked in behind her with a sated smile. Stork my ass, Mr and Mrs C were still doing the dirty. Most likely moments before Edward called hello.

"I thought you were going to knock." Mrs Cullen said to Edward and I stifled a laugh. Edward stood flabbergasted and Mrs Cullen held out her hand, "I'm Esme."

I took her hand and by god if the woman didn't have the softest hands imaginable.

"Bella. You have a beautiful home, sorry about just walking in like that." I might've blushed.

"Mum," Edward finally whined, "I've never knocked before."

"Yes, but you've always lived here before. What if you father and I were doing something you shouldn't see." Esme chastised. I pursed my lips to prevent a laugh.

"What could you possibly be doing that I shouldn't see?" Poor boy really didn't know. My giggle escaped.

Esme smiled at me and sent a worried look to her son. "I should get back to preparing lunch. I'm always a messy cook." Dr Cullen blushed and she winked at me. I couldn't hold in the laughter and bent double, holding my gut.

Esme escaped to the kitchen. I straightened up and wiped the tears from my eyes. Edward patted me awkwardly on the back.

"Sorry about that Dr Cullen, I just couldn't hold it in any longer." I blushed and caught Edward's confused face out of the corner of my eye.

"Please Bella, call me Carlisle," I nodded. Carlisle added uncomfortably, "Uh, sorry about Esme, she gets crazy about _cooking_." My lips twitched, but I didn't let the giggle out. "How's the leg, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Good, heavy, annoying," _cockblocking_. Thank goodness _my_ internal filter is working.

"Ah well, hang in there, two weeks if you're good."

"I'll be good, I swear." Now was the moment when Edward decided to let the sexual side of his brain reawaken, because he stifled at laugh at my comment.

Carlisle quirked a smile as I nudged Edward in the ribs with my elbow, sharply. "I like you Bella," he said randomly, "You kids hang around. I'm going to go help Esme in the kitchen."

"Do you need help?" I asked and then blushed at my words.

Carlisle laughed, "No, we'll alright, thank you."

He scooted off to the kitchen, but before he could fully leave the room my verbal filter decided to go on holidays, letting my brain scream out, "I'm sure Esme kneads buns, the buns, oh boy." I palmed myself in the forehead and then turned to the adjacent wall and hit my head on that also. I stopped when I saw the wall was the whitest shade of white I had ever seen in a house. I didn't want my blood tainting that.

Edward looked at me strangely, "Let's go outside." I nodded, wallowing in my embarrassment until I saw his backyard.

"You have a trampoline!" I screamed insanely jealous. Charlie would never let me have one. You know, clumsy kid plus bouncing object elevated from ground doesn't exactly equal safety.

"Yes," Edward smirked at me as I tried to scramble on.

"You know I broke my right big toe when I was seven trying to jump off one of these at a friend's place." I told Edward as he grabbed my ass and lifted me up.

"I remember mum trying to convince dad to get rid of it when I broke my left wrist when I was nine." Edward told me and I laughed.

"Edward Cullen fell." I smirked pretending to be shocked at this revelation. Edward was always so smooth and un-clumsy.

"Emmett pushed me, thank you very much!" He said indignantly and climbed up next to me. I was sitting, bouncing slightly.

"So Esme didn't get her way?"

"No, Dad, strangely enough, loved the trampoline too."

"I bet they had sex on it." I said absentmindedly. Edward jumped a foot in the air in shock. I looked at him as he gave me a disgusted look.

"What?" I asked him. I didn't get it people have sex. Edward and I will have sex. Edward's parents would've have sex, since obviously he was here and besides when we arrive they were most likely dancing the horizontal tango.

"I'd rather not think about my parents doing it." He cringed.

"Honey," I said seriously, "you do know where babies come from, right?" I giggled. Boy, I never thought this was going to be a conversation I would have with my 21 year old boyfriend.

He rolled his eyes, "Bella, I'm not stupid it's just gross to think about your parents doing it. Would you ever like to think about Charlie and Renee doing it?"

"Charlie, god no." I shivered. "But I'm not immune, Edward, and I'm not naive." I laughed Edward was still pouting. "Remember how I was going to tell you a story about Renee?" I asked him.

"If it's about her and Phil having sex, or about you seeing them having sex, or her telling you about sex I'd prefer not to know." He flat out said. Guess I don't get to tell a story today. I thought about bringing up his parents again, but the look on his face just picturing my mother was enough torture for him. Instead I changed the subject.

"So, Emmett pushed you off the trampoline, why'd he do that?"

"I accidently jumped and kicked him in the balls." He said, but was still pouting, the conversation about parental sex still probably rolling around in his head.

I rolled my eyes, if he kept this up it would scare him off sex forever. He and I would both suffer in that situation. Instead of telling him this I laughed a little inside picturing little Edward and Emmett fighting.

"Oh Edward quit pouting." I told him and he grumbled that he wasn't pouting.

"One day let's have sex on this trampoline." I told him seriously receiving a shocked look.

"Lunch kids." Esme called from the back door. Edward got off and stuck the landing. I stared at him, knowing I wouldn't be able to jump off with a cast. I scooted to the edge and Edward picked me up by the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder.

My face met his ass. I must've done something good in a previous life.

"Ew Bella you want to do it on the trampoline after you just told me my parents just did it on the trampoline." And in the kitchen, I added but didn't tell. I don't want to ruin lunch for him.

He started walking to the house.

"Oh please Edward, I don't know if they had sex on the trampoline it was just a theory and besides just imagine it. Thrust, bounce, thrust, bounce." I giggle and ogled his ass.

He set me on my feet before we walked into the house. Edward had a little confused look on his face. The horny boy fighting the disgusted one. I just hoped the horny one won.

"You kids coming?"

Not yet Esme, but give us two weeks and we're go!

I smiled at Edward and followed Esme into the house. I hadn't looked around in this room before we left, but now I was drinking it in. It was the lounge room. The wall behind me was made of glass panels so that it looked like a wall of glass. It must've been tinted because it looked like a black wall on the outside.

"Wow."

"Yes, Carlisle thought it was a good idea. It did come in handy when the boys were younger."

I looked around again and my eyes fell on something. With it being summer, and me having an addiction to warm and cosy things, I looked straight past the huge television and found the warmest, softest looking blanket I'd ever seen. With the heat I was having withdrawals so I lightly fingered the wool, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it was incredibly soft.

"This is beautiful, Esme." I said as she walked past.

She turned to me and smiled and said, "Yes, I'm pretty sure that Emmett and Edward were conceived under this quilt." She was stroking the blanket too and froze when she said that. I had dropped it and laughed awkwardly. While Esme's face went redder, Edward's went whiter.

"What? I used to sit under that as a kid." Oh, his stork theory was just obliterated.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Bella. I don't know why, but I it's just like I don't even think when I'm around you, like your one of my girlfriends."

We all laughed nervously, except Edward who was still standing there in shock. Carlisle walked in, oblivious to the awkwardness, "lunch anyone?" He looked at his wife's tinted face with a curious look, but she shook her head and led the way into the dining room.

"Bella, Emmett and I used to make forts under the cum cover." He said in a strangled voice.

"Oh don't be such a baby. You're alliterating, you can't be that shocked. Now let's go eat. I really like you mother by the way."

"She's usually not like this." Edward frowned.

"Well it's nice to know that not everybody has a working verbal filter all the same." I took his hand and dragged him into the dining room. I saw Carlisle squeeze Esme's hand and we all took a seat.

"I am really sorry," I was already waving my hand at her telling her it was alright.

"I suffer lapses too, sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Edward gave me a bewildered look. I nodded quickly and stared him down. He turned to eat smirking along the way. I started to eat too, but my fork and stomach dropped when Carlisle asked,

"So, how did you two meet?"

"Party."

"Wal-Mart."

I said the party, Edward had said the other. I looked at him and he quirked an eyebrow at me.

Why was he trying to embarrass me?

I looked at Carlisle and Esme who were waiting expectantly. Edward was watching me, waiting for me to fix this. Shit.

"Well, that is to say that when we first saw each other it was at Wal-Mart, but we first spoke at the party." I covered.

"Yes, I served her."

"And then I invited him to the party. It was my friend Rose's 21st."

I picked up my water glass and took a sip.

"Do you guys want to know what the first thing Bella said to me was?"

I tried to stop the water from exploding out of my mouth and I succeeded by letting it dribble down my chin.

"Was this at the party or at Wal-Mart? I'm just a little confused, you said you invited him to the party at work, but spoke to him first at the party." My jaw had unhinged a little at Carlisle delving techniques. He could probably get a patient to confess their deepest secrets, related or not to their medical problem.

"Well..."

I cut Edward off.

"You see I met my friend Rose in freshman year of high school..."

I went through the high school erection story and then onto the condom conundrum, the three boxes, the old men and then onto my nymphomaniac cries all the way to the party where I'd 'not so drunkenly' - yes changed that for the parents - called Edward and invited him to the party and then finished with finding him on my couch the next day.

I got kicked out. Right to the curb. Right there, just sitting on my ass.

No, just joking.

Carlisle and Esme laughed. Really fucking hard. My face red, beetroot, no not just my face, my entire body.

Edward leans over and whispers under his parents' howls, "I was only going to tell them about 'checkout boy number three'.

And if possible I blush even harder.

Why did I go there? I just wanted to tell the story my way and not the way Edward could've interpreted it. I want to crawl under the table, maybe live there until my face returned to normal colour. Oh god I would probably never leave. Stupid word vomit! It just came and came and came until I ran out, and just like real vomit it only stopped when I had no more to give.

I put my head down on the white table cloth hoping my blushed face didn't stain it.

Carlisle and Esme were still laughing, Edward was trying to stile his laughs as best as he could, which really wasn't good enough, but he was rubbing my back soothingly.

I sat up and smiled a shitty smile while their laughter died down to one of those quiet random giggles. Esme wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Should I leave?" I asked her, hoping she'd say yes and I could bury myself.

"No!" She leapt up from her seat and hugged me. "Please stay, I haven't laughed that hard since," she paused but didn't continue.

"Since?"

"I don't know." She pouted and I knew where Edward got his pouting face from, his mother. I laughed a little due to awkwardness.

"So you're not upset that you're son's girlfriend is a klutz and an over sharer that lacks the power to stop her mouth from, running off, I mean, cause you know if you are..." Edward clamped his hand on my mouth.

"Nope, I think it makes you even better." Esme smiled before her lips pressed into a thin line, "I'm not a huge fan of secrets." Though I knew the comment wasn't directed towards me I still felt the chills that accompanied it and made me promise myself that I'd never lie to this woman.

"I think that's why you met Edward, he seems to stop the flow of your words." Carlisle chuckled and pointed to Edward's hand that was still covering my mouth. He removed it hesitantly.

"I'm fine." I think I'm all word vomited out.

"Great, who wants some cake?" Esme bounced off to the kitchen and within seconds we were all sitting with some chocolaty, fudgy masterpiece that had me holding back moans of gratitude in between conversation. After all the plates were clear and we had lapsed into a comfortable silence Esme got up and cleared her and Carlisle's plate. I took Edward's and mine while Carlisle engaged Edward in some conversation about sport.

Edward looked over at me, I smiled at him and he relaxed into the conversation a bit more.

I could just picture him and Charlie getting along and the thought made me smile.

"Oh, Bella dear, you didn't have to do that." Esme took the plates from my hands.

"Oh I don't really mind, anyway, Edward and Carlisle are talking sport."

"Not your forte?" She smiled.

"No, I've never really been the coordinated type." Her eyes flickered down to my boot and she laughed.

"My son really likes you Bella."

_Oh_!

I didn't know what to say so I started helping Esme load the dishes into the dishwasher.

"I really like Edward too."

_Oh_ _really?_

Yes.

That little voice dropped her jaw, she was speechless for once.

Esme beamed at me and then changed the subject, pleased with my answer. I helped her with the dishes while we made small talk.

Now if this was a cheesy Lifetime movie I would be sneaking glances at Edward the whole time Esme was giving me her secret apple pie recipe.

But this wasn't a cheesy Lifetime movie, this was my life. Esme wasn't giving me her secret apple pie recipe, she was telling me the lengths her own mother went to keep the recipe from her and I wasn't sneaking longing glances at Edward while I basked in the revelation that I could just possibly be falling for him because quite frankly there was a wall that separate us two.

But every now and then, after a laugh with Esme I would look at the impossibly white wall longingly and wonder...

_Could I possibly be falling for Edward?_

* * *

_**A/N I updated in under a week, so send me a complimentary review. Maybe answer the question of 'what the hell was going through Bella's brain' in this chapter. I'm pretty sure that next chapter she's going to get her cast off, you know what that means...**_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

_Could I possibly be falling for Edward?_

_..._

Falling. What a stupid word to use. Why would you falfl for someone, I mean, I fall, a lot, technically in the true sense of the word I've already fallen for Edward. At the coffee shop, at the bookstore, out at dinner...

"Bella?"

"Hm." He broke my trance.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"You just seem..."

"What?" I asked when he didn't continue.

"Distracted?" _Should I be worried that he's not looking at the road?_

"No, I'm fine." I smiled at him.

He leant over and flipped open the mirror on the sun flap. "Bella, you're a pretty shitty liar."

I stared at my face, it was true, my lips pressed into a thin line and my eyes were way too wide. I may be a shitty liar, but there is no way that I'm going to tell Edward the truth. _Sorry._

"I'm just tired." Edward just mumbled in response, obvious disbelieve laced in his mumblings. I took his hand and we remained quiet for the rest of the drive back.

I did start to nod off in the car, so when Edward pulled up at my place he looked calmer, probably believing my lie.

He opened my door before my tired fingers could even unclick the seatbelt.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me to my door.

"Thank you for meeting my parents."

"They are amazing, Edward."

"I swear they aren't always as... they're just not usually that, explicit." He frowned and I giggled.

"You're saying they don't usually talk about their sex life in front of you?"

"Bella, seriously, that was my worst nightmare coming to life."

"I still loved them all the same."

We were at my front door now.

_I wonder what it would be like to try the L word out._

The errant thought crossed my mind, stopping me for a moment. I needed to delve some more, maybe with the help of some goon and my girls. Edward pulled me into him by my hips.

"Do you know what tomorrow is?"

"Monday?"

He nodded, "It's also the start of the two weeks from hell."

"Two weeks from hell?" Yep, I'm confused.

"Two weeks 'til your cast comes off." He leaned in. I could smell him breathing all over my face, spearmint.

"Do you want to come in?"

He pondered, "I've got to work in the morning and I know you don't, and besides, I don't want to start pushing the boundaries with hell starting tomorrow."

"So, no?"

"Sorry, no."

He leaned in to kiss me.

_Does it not feel like this for everyone?_

No. Kissing Mike most definitely did not feel like this. His mouth was awkward on mine, his lips too big, his breath too overpowering and gross.

Edward lips always moulded perfectly with mine, his lips always smooth and just the right size and his mouth always had that hint of spearmint no matter morning or night.

He pulled back and kissed the corner of my mouth slowly before kissing me on the forehead.

"Goodnight, Bella."

**Monday**

I awoke late morning and got out of bed. I stretched. I don't feel any different. Last night Edward said that these next two weeks would be 'hell', but at the moment I feel fine.

Rose asked me questions about Esme and Carlisle, but there wasn't really too much to tell. We were practically sisters now, so I told her about how I recounted the whole story of how Edward and I met. She laughed saying that she could picture exactly their reactions. I didn't tell her about the baby-maker blanket though. Some things are just too intimate to tell.

After my tales with the in-laws Rose broke and spilled the dreaded news.

"I'm moving out."

"What, no! Stay, please."

_Well, don't I sound clingy..._

"Bella," She laughed, "Em and I are getting married."

"So?"

"I just figured that I should test drive him first."

"You've been having sex with him for ages, don't you think you've rode him enough." I blushed because I didn't mean for my mouth to say that. Rose blushed for an entirely different reason. "Oh, shit, sorry."

She waved away my apology.

I hugged her.

"It's ok Rose, abandon Alice and me. I'll forgive you if you make me maid of honour at your wedding." She laughed and I pulled away from her. "But I am seriously happy for you."

She smiled in response.

**Tuesday**

Day two. Nope, don't feel different. I have no idea what Edward was talking about. Weird, weird boy. We spoke last night over the phone. He sounded normal. He made no attempts to seduce me into phone sex.

Should I be saddened by this fact? Do we need to have actual sex for the phone sex to start? I really don't think so.

...

Oh my God! What has Edward done? He's implanted sex into my brain!

**Wednesday**

Today is the first time I'm seeing Edward since Sunday. We're babysitting Stan because Emmett needs to tidy things up so Rose can move in he can't do it while Stan is there because, and I quote, "I can't deny his cute face, get's me every time."

And people call me the freak!

Edward came over with Stan. We decided to go for a walk. With yesterday's 'sex on the brain' I couldn't for the life of me sit next to Edward and watch the Discovery Channel. Anything could happen, like watching the Discovery Channel.

Edward and I hit the dog park.

It was a decent day. Edward asked me not to eat a hot dog and bought me a hamburger instead.

"I just can't take that kind of imagery."

"Why?"

"Because we have to babysit Stan."

"So..."

"So it would be weird to go back to your place and do things in front on Stan."

"Performance anxiety?"

Edward just laughed at that comment. Before he inserted a very serious no and kept on laughing.

I continued to chow down on my hamburger. I never liked pickles, so I dug through my burger and pulled it out and flung it. Another dog came out of nowhere and started to lap up my pickle.

Did you know that Stan is not de-sexed? It's because Emmett doesn't want to take away his 'manhood'. Also according to Emmett, Stan is going through his teenage, 'long shower', 'yes mom I'm just taking extra time to wash my hair' phase.

The sight of this dog caused Stan's little 'ears' to perk up. Edward was holding the leash.

Needless to say living with Emmett had caused Stan's eyes to be 'babe magnets'. He took off, I believe after the cocker spaniel. Edward had to chase after him and then try to pry them apart.

Edward made his way back to me holding Stan at arm's length. Stan continued to thrust his little pelvis.

Edward and I hastily left the dog park with Stan trying to grind into Edward's hand.

"Um," I really couldn't think of anything to say.

"Home time for Stan?"

"Yes."

I don't know why but the possibility of almost seeing Stan get some was too much for me today. And now I felt awkward with Edward. Great. Maybe because I was kind of hoping similar events world take place between us. All I could see was thrusting and Edward and penis and Edward and sweat and Edward.

Edward dropped Stan off and then drove me back to my place. He didn't ask to come in and I didn't offer. That was how weird Stan had made it. I think Edward went home for a cold shower because as soon as I closed the front door I bagged my cast and turned up the cold.

**Thursday**

Work was on the agenda today. I seriously think the universe is working against me. I had to stock books today. Self help books. This included some titles such as _Karma Sutra_, _Sex for Dummies_, _Bonk_ and _Getting It On_.

So today I got reacquainted with an old friend... _Buzz._

**Friday**

Finally! A semi-normal day. Alice and I are helping Rose pack. Tonight is her last night. Alice and I were in Rose's room right now. It's 10 and I've already had one glass of boxed wine. We figured we'd be classy today. Alice is in charge of Rose's clothing. Rose is clearing out her draws and labelling the ones which we shouldn't touch. I really don't want to know why. I'm labelling boxes.

No I'm not slacking off. With Alice's 'filing' system and Rose's amount of crap it's a lot of work.

We broke for lunch, grilled cheese and more wine.

After I stood in front of the bookcase and started removing all of the books that Rose owned. There wasn't much of a dint, just a few school books that she refused to part with and some of those popular vampire books that were all the rage right now. Rose and Alice were fighting over which DVDs Rose owned. How she won against Alice and stole our Harry Potter collection I'll never know.

"Guys, come on you're being ridiculous." Alice and I may or may not have been a little bit tipsy by this stage and may or may not have stopped talking to Rose for taking our Harry Potter DVDs.

I mean, come on, wouldn't you fight for Harry Potter?

My phone started buzzing in my pocket.

"You're no use to me unless you can convince Rosalie Hale to give Harry Potter back to me!" I declared. Maybe I was being a bit over the top.

"Bella?"

"Jake!"

"So I did ring the right number?"

"Of course. How are you? So you're still alive?"

"Er, yes."

"Well, you haven't rung me in a long time." I pouted. "Do you want to come over?"

"To join the protest?"

"Yea, sure."

"I'm coming over."

Jake arrived and Rose begged him to get Alice and me to speak to her.

"Can't you just split them down the middle?"

"Where would you make the cut?" I was shocked.

"I don't know, but for the love of Gaga just do it. I'm not drunk yet, so all this fighting is serious." In the end we ended up splitting it down the middle. Upon closer inspection some of the DVDs were *cough*illegalcopies*cough* so I've no idea why I was adamant that they stay here.

We packed and drank late into the night. Jacob packs some killer music.

**Saturday**

Ow... ow, ow, ow. I placed my hand to my head. I think my intolerance for alcohol has lowered, I only had what? Four glasses yesterday. I sat up. Alice and Rose were still asleep. Jacob was stirring on the end of the bed. We all decided to sleep together last night. Like a slumber party. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, it must have been what woke me.

"Hello." I croaked.

"You sound like ass."

"Thanks Edward. I feel like it." Nicely played Swan, even hung-over you can pull the sympathy vote.

"How about I come over and cook you breakfast?"

"Edward... can't... Rose... balls." Emmett commented in the background.

"Emmett, its 11, I'm sure an hour won't get you castrated."

"It's 11 o'clock?" We've overslept.

I didn't get an answer, but I heard Emmett mumble, "Your nephew."

"We're coming over." Edward's voice was overly cheery.

...

"I'm going miss you so much Rose." I was crying.

"Bella, I'm only 5 minutes away." She was crying equally as much.

I hugged her closer, "It's still too far."

Alice joined in and the three of us stood there blubbering.

Eventually Rose backed up, hopping between feet and fanning her face. "Ok, ok, enough crying. We should be going." Jacob stepped forward and hugged her. She blushed when they broke apart, probably from an inappropriate comment Jacob made.

One last hug and Rose was gone. Edward was helping Rose and Emmett cart the boxes so he was gone for the night promising to ring me before bed. Jacob left, he had to go hang out with Seth. We were going to hang out tomorrow anyway.

Now it was just Alice and me.

"So, you and Edward looked cosy at lunch." We were watching Harry Potter in honour of Rose.

"Alice, I think I'm falling for him."

"Wow." I gaped at her sombre response. "Joking! I totally had you two pegged from the beginning." She launched herself at me and hugged me.

**Sunday**

"8." Jacob said.

"No way, total 7. Now that guy is an 8."

Jacob bent over and laughed at me.

"You laughing at me Black?"

"Did you just give that guy an 8?"

"What would you give him?"

"A 6!"

"Are you high boy?"

Jacob and I were 'g-spotting', an old tradition that we created when were both single. We are sitting in the park and rating guys after we had spent the day together. Simple, yet fun, but always with a hint of dispute.

"Can we agree that that guy is a 2?" Jacob pointed.

"I'm sure his mum loves him." I laughed, "But yes, total 2." Sometimes we got a little vindictive.

"Oh my god Bells! 11!"

I swung my head, "What! Where?" I followed his finger, "Edward!"

"He's here to wine and dine you. I've got to go meet up with my boy."

"Oh, ok. Thanks Jacob." I hugged him and left with Edward.

...

"Can I come in?" Edward asked after he broke away from my neck.

"Ok, but no funny business."

"Why not?"

_Because I really, really need some funny business right now?_

"Because I think we should wait."

**Monday**

After a night of no funny business Edward was dropping me off to work. There is seriously nothing worse than work on a Monday morning after sharing a bed with your boyfriend.

He leant down to kiss me. He was ravenous, erotic and horny and so was I. Unfortunately; because of my stupid mouth I could take no _pleasure_ because I stupidly decided that we should wait.

Now, why wait. I don't really know, to increase the anticipation? Because I'm crazy? Maybe a little masochist? But now Edward is holding me to my word. I tried to take it back, but he said I wanted it. Now he teases me.

Edward pressed me to him and let his hands wander. What an asshole. How am I supposed to go to work now? If I was a guy I would totally have a raging hard on.

"Enjoy your shift, Bella." He pecked me all too sweetly on the lips and walked around the corner. He's teasing me and I don't like it. Not one bit. Jerk.

I touched my fingers to my lips. I may be angry at him, but I can still appreciate a good mouth fuck. I turned, still lost in my haze, to go to work. I wasn't watching where I was going and I was thinking about possible ways I could torture Edward after my torture session ended. That's why I smacked myself right into the glass doors.

Stupid things didn't automatically open for me! Subconsciously I must've known I was late because I was walking at one hell of a pace. I literally bounced. I swear, tennis ball meets racket, bounced off those doors, which then had the decency to open as I landed on my ass, head not so narrowly missing the puddle.

I removed my fingers that were still holding my lips in remembrance of Edward's kiss and put them of my forehead. Hello Headache.

I didn't bother to move. I would get up when I felt like it. I could see Angela inside. She must've known I was ok because she didn't come out to see. I could see her legs crossed at the ankles as she did the pee dance she does when she finds something extremely funny.

I sat up and finally Ang came out.

"Bella." I just looked up at her, "You should've seen your face." She laughed, "And the birds flew away just so you wouldn't squish them with your ass." She was holding onto the wall with one hand and her ribcage with the other.

"Angela, I don't know why it's so funny, I've fallen a lot." I extended my hand in hope of her helping me up. She grabbed it, but wasn't that much help. I wiggled a bit. I don't think I broke anything.

"It's funny 'cause you were wearing your 'post-Edward' face."

I frowned and went to work. Post-Edward face my ass.

**Tuesday**

"I walked into a door yesterday." Rose and I were having coffee. She gave me the 'Rosalie Hale questioning eye'. "I think it's because I'm falling for Edward."

"Well, that's nothing new."

"How come everyone knew before me? Even Esme pointed it out." I'm outraged.

"Well, do something about it."

"I can't, not until my cast comes off." She laughed, "Oh, not what you were talking about?"

"No, but you've got sex on the brain, B."

I knew that too. I'm starting to understand the term 'hell'.

**Wednesday**

I finished my shower with a blast of cold after a goodnight call from Edward. Nothing happened, but the boy sure knew how to build some tension. He was still torturing me.

My bedroom is right next to the bathroom. Now I didn't think anything of it when I heard the loud clang in the pipes when I turned off the hot water and the cold on. Our house was old and the bathroom piping had always been a problem. But never had I expected it to be this bad. It was always fixable, like when Edward helped me fix it. Now, I'm not so sure.

I had gotten out of the shower and completed my post shower routine, moisturising and removing the bag from my cast. I walked into my bedroom. Everything was normal at first. My room looked no different. One of the photos I kept on the wall of Alice, Rose and I shook a little bringing my attention to it. I stared at it and it did it again. I removed it from the wall. The wall was wet.

The shower and my wall shared this exact point.

"Alice!" I called and she came, "What do you think this means?" Rose was the tinkerer in this house, but Rose wasn't here anymore, so...

"Your walls are leaking."

"Or the shower." I said and she nodded. We went into the bathroom and tinkered with the wall. We tapped and prodded, but the drywall seemed fine here.

"Maybe if we turn the shower on?" Alice suggested. We did. I turned on the hot first and everything seemed fine.

"It made a funny sound when I turned on the cold." Alice raised an eyebrow at me and I just blushed and rolled my eyes. I turned off the hot and turned on the cold tap.

The wall vibrated and the pipes groaned. I turned the cold onto full capacity and that's when we heard the loud BANG! Alice and I stood there for a while just staring at the wall, wondering what we did. The sound of spurting water hitting something caused me to move. I rushed back into my room. There was a hole in my wall, where the photo used to hang, which was spurting out short, quick, strong bursts of water, right onto my bed. I raced back into the bathroom.

"Turn it off!" I said and Alice turned off the cold. She exited the bathroom and I followed her back into my bedroom.

"Oh boy." Oh boy was right. My bed was wet. I lifted the cover off to find that the water had soaked my sheets and my mattress was semi wet. "I'm going to call Rose." Alice said and wandered off.

I got dressed, something I hadn't done before the excitement. I was drying my hair with my towel when Alice entered again.

"I disconnected the water from that bathroom, I think." She laughed, "Well, Rose thinks." She inspected my mattress. "You can't sleep here."

"Where am I going to sleep?"

"Rose's room."

**Thursday**

_Edward hovered above me. He was naked and so was I._

"_Touch me." I panted as my hands twisted in the bed sheets._

_He kissed me lightly on my collarbone, "where would you like to be touched, Bella?" His voice was low and sultry._

_His tongue licked and flicked over my nipple, "you... you know where."_

"_Nu uh, you've got to tell me, love." He kissed slowly down between the valley of my breasts._

"Oh, yes!"

_I took his hand and placed it on my sex. "Here." I whispered._

_The bed creaked repeatedly as Edward slowly moved his lips over my stomach. _

"Yes! Right there!"

_I could hear the headboard banging against the wall behind us. I didn't think we were moving that much to cause the bed to bounce off the wall._

_Edward slowly placed a kiss on my clit before he looked up and me and said, _"Oh Alice!"

I shot up in bed.

"Jasper!"

I looked around the room. I was in Rose's room. The wall behind me shook and the two occupants in the next room let out their final moans before everything fell silent.

I was still in a haze from sleep and extremely frustrated with the way my dream had left me.

"No fucking way!" I leapt out of bed as fast as my bung leg would allow, "ew, ew, ew!" I ran into the living room and started brushing myself off, like their actions had made me dirty.

I shivered. Alice and Jasper had just fuelled my dirty dream!

I calmed down and went and took a shower. I went back into Rose's room, calmer, and hoping to sleep. I heard Alice giggle.

"Horny assholes!" I slept on the couch.

**Friday**

I glared at them as they entered the kitchen the next morning. My back hurt from rolling off the couch and landing on the floor this morning. They just shrugged off my glare and made themselves coffee, emitting their post-coital glow at me.

"Bella, are you ok?" Alice asked as she sat down on the stool next to me.

"Just peachy." I smiled at her.

She frowned, "You seem off."

"Well, you seem on." I'm sure Jasper loves that.

Jasper chuckled. "I'm going to go take a shower, babe." He kissed Alice on the temple.

"Oh, wait, I'll come too." I spluttered my coffee.

"Please, don't." I begged. I put my hands on my ears. "I can't take it anymore."

Alice removed my hands from my ears. "What the hell, Bella."

"Do you know how thin the dry wall is?" Alice just blushed. "Is Jasper staying over tonight?"

Alice's eyes darted away from my face, "no?"

**Saturday**

I opened my eyes. My face was buried into the red fabric of our couch. _How did I end up on the floor?_ I had to sleep in the living room again last night, but I distinctively remember going to bed on the couch.

I just thought the fall would've woken me, but no, it was the giggling coming from the kitchen.

They're like rabbits.

"Did Rose ever have this problem?" I called out and rolled over onto my back.

Alice leaned over the couch. "She never said anything. It's probably just your overly horny brain making your ears listen out for anything sort of sexual sounds."

"Being horny doesn't make you a better listener."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Jasper made breakfast and Rose said she'd look at the piping today. Your mattress should be dry by now and you need to be at work in 40 minutes." She walked away.

"But I'm so comfy here on the floor!" I called out and got ready for the day.

**Sunday**

"Oh my god. That was amazing. I love you so much. I promise you I'll never leave you again." I moaned. I slept in _my_ bed last night. Free from sex noises and erotic dreams. Also, this was the last day of 'hell' as Edward dubbed it.

I hadn't seen him, in the flesh (dreams don't count), since Monday. I think it was a good idea, less temptation and frustration. He's been working, I've been working and fixing that goddam shower, which works for short periods of time. Rose and I discovered that you can't take a shower longer than 15 minutes in there. Thankfully I didn't ruin any sheets through this experiment. I recognised the clang and bang.

There was a knock on my door, "Bella, are you done in here?" She poked her head in, smirking.

"Yes, Alice." I rolled my eyes. She entered holding a cup of coffee. "Oh, Alice, I love you too." She quirked an eyebrow at me and looked in my cupboard. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for Edward."

"He's not here."

She looked at me shocked, "but you're in such a good mood." I rolled my eyes. "Well, seeing as you're in such a good mood, I thought I'd bring something up."

"Shoot." Alice smiled.

"I'm going over to Rose's today and I was wondering if you'd come."

"Sure, why do I have to be in a good mood to visit Rose?" I asked. Alice's eyes twinkled.

"No reason."

...

Save me!  
B x

Why, what's wrong  
E

"Bella, are you listening?" Alice appraised me.

I'm being tortured  
B x

I looked down at the table covered in wedding magazines and women in bridesmaid dressed.

LOL  
E

Lol! That's all he has to say!

No, not lol!  
Be the hero!  
Come save your girlfriend now!  
B x

"Bella!" Rose snapped this time.

"Guys, I don't care. I don't know. All I ask is to not be wearing red, because I'll stand out and that you let me wear flats." I begged.

Let me just get my shiny armour  
and I'll be on my way  
E

Did you just call the Volvo Shiny?  
B x

"Absolutely not. You will not be wearing flats as my maid of honour!" Rose fumed. Yea, she actually made me her maid of honour, but thankfully she let Alice practically run the show.

Busy, save yourself.  
E

Oh shit. _Don't tease him about his car, Bella. _I raised my leg in the air. "Look what happened last time I wore heels guys. I plead the fifth!"

I heart the Volvo.  
They're talking heels!  
Think of your loins!  
B x

"Maybe if she wears a long dress?" Alice suggested.

"Ok." Rose was weary.

"How do you feel about g-strings?" Alice asked.

On my way  
E

Thank God!

...

I panted and reclined on Edward's couch.

"Thank you for saving me. That was exactly what I needed."

_A make-out session with Edward?_

Edward looked at me funny.

"Stay the night."

* * *

_**A/N Mm, so I'm a liar, I cockblocked you again. But I promise it ends next chapter and I promise I'll upload in under 16 days. I swear on the life of Edward! Review.**_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Bella, stop bouncing so hard." Edward instructed.

"But I'm excited."

"Yea, so am I, but I don't want you to break your ass."

No, because that would truly be a disaster.

I settled down in my seat and just grinned. I grinned bigger than a kid who had put his hand in the cookie jar and gotten away with it. Today was Monday.

"I'm excited." I told him.

"Did you take something this morning?" He asked me. He couldn't understand my excitement. Now, I know what you're thinking. I'm just excited because today I finally get the man made pussyblocker removed, hence the excitement of blockage to the pussy being cleared.

Wow. That sounds wrong.

Not that I'm not excited about that. I am, but I'm also a bit nervous, but I finally get my foot back. My leg too. It's going to be like a family reunion down there.

Edward pulled up and started to drag me towards the hospital. He was hiding his excitement too. Using all his extra energy to try and get me through the doors as quickly as possible. I went and checked in with the ditzy blonde receptionist and then we sat and waited for the doctor.

Edward's leg was bouncing up and down. I put my hand on his knee and he looked at me apologetically. We waited patiently for another twenty minutes. Edward's foot started tapping.

"Geez, Edward, anyone would think you're the one that's getting their cast sawed off today."

He stopped his tapping foot and looked me in the eyes. "Aren't I, Bella?" His eyes held lust. Soooo much lust. I looked at my watch again. Is it even legal for them to make us wait so long?

I closed my eyes, hoping maybe the clock would move faster. I opened them. One whole minute had crept by. I turned to Edward. "Look really sad."

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"Sad, not surprised. Like your dog has just been run over." Edward pouted. I sighed, "That will have to do. We'll work on your acting later." I stood up and winked at him. He continued to pout.

I went up to the ditzy receptionist again. "Hello," she said in her bored tone, "how may I help you. Is this an emergency?" Obviously she doesn't remember me from twenty minutes before.

"Yes." I smiled sweetly at her. "See that guy over there?" I pointed behind me to a pouting Edward. He would so not win best actor or anything.

"Oh my god! Is he ok?" Of course she would fall for his poor performance...

"No, you see, he just had some really bad news. Can you please call his father, Dr Carlisle Cullen." She was still staring at Edward.

_Stop staring!_

"Is he going to be ok?" She whispered. Why did she whisper?

"He will be. Just get Dr Cullen." She was still ogling Edward sympathetically. "Now! Please." I added the please as an afterthought. She jumped but picked up the phone. I smiled at her and went to sit down next to Edward.

"Can I stop pouting now?" He pouted.

"Just wait." Dr Cullen came into the room, looking a little flustered. He found Edward and came over to us.

"Edward, Bella, is everything alright?"

"Are you busy?" I blushed. He could've been in surgery or something.

"No, no, why?" Dr C was still panicking a little.

"Oh, we were just wondering if you could get this cast off." He looked at us, or me. I think Edward was still pouting.

"Sure. Follow me." Edward and I followed through. I glanced at Edward.

"You can stop pouting now." His face slipped into a smile.

Carlisle led us into an examination room. "Did you fake a family emergency to get me to cut off you leg?" He asked.

"No." I lied badly while Edward looked shocked at the cutting off of my leg. "The receptionist was clueless."

Carlisle laughed, "I don't mind. I was just reviewing records anyway."

"Sorry." I blushed as I'd interrupted him.

"No problem, I should be thanking you. This is the most action I've had all day." I snickered at this.

Dr C performed the routine examination before he removed my cast. As soon as I begun to see my leg I slapped a hand over Edward's eyes.

"Bella!" He tried to take my hand off his face before he gave up.

Remember that Simpsons episode where Marge breaks her leg? Remember the forest she'd grown under her cast? Well mine had nothing on hers. Dr C tested my ankle while I held Edward's face.

"Everything's good Bella. Just take it easy." He passed a bemused look between me and Edward's covered eyes. "Alright, you're good to go."

I rolled down the leg of my sweat and then released Edward's face. "Bella, what the hell." I just smiled off him and asked him to help me down off the bed.

"I'm all good, let's go."

I limped my way out of the hospital after thanking Carlisle. Little did he know what I was actually thanking him for.

My ankle was stiff. I really didn't think it would be this stiff, so I was leaning all over Edward who was helping me on the way to the Volvo.

We hadn't spoken since we thanked Carlisle for removing the man made cockblocker. Edward kept shooting me provocative glances, which I returned with a slow wink.

We got to the Volvo and Edward ducked from under my arm and slammed me against the car. I pushed my hips forward and laced my fingers into his hair while his lips attacked mine deliciously. I would've dropped my sweatpants right here, right now if it wasn't for one thing that was niggling at my brain.

I knew we needed to stop.

And I was going to hate myself for it.

I let myself enjoy the feeling of Edward's hips and _Edward_ pressed against me for just one moment longer before I told him to stop.

"Please," I whimpered, dying a little on the inside from what I was doing.

"Please what?" Edward murmured as he dipped his head down to my collarbone.

I gasped as he sucked lightly, flicking his tongue lightly across the mark he'd just made.

"Please, st, st-op." I whimpered. I could practically see my 'downtown' holding the gun to my head ordering me to tell him to continue.

He dropped his head to my shoulder in defeat but tightened his hold on my hips.

"Sorry, I just got carried away." He opened the door to the car and I got in and waited for him to make his way around to the driver's side. "Where do you want to go?"

"Actually," _Don't do this Bella! _"Would you like to go out tonight, with me?" _Noooooo!_

Edward frowned but quickly corrected that. He smiled, "sure. So, do you want me to drop you home?"

"Yes." The drive to my house was quick. Edward got out and opened my door and helped me out of the car. He took me to my door. "So, I'll see you tonight?"

_I hate you._

He smiled and nodded, dropping his eyes. "Hey," I tilted his head up so his eyes were looking into mine, "I'm sorry, it's just I think a couple of hours won't kill us. I don't want to attack you and stuff." I mumbled.

_I hate you._ _I hate you._ _I hate you._

Stupid subconscious! Making me feel all guilty. Edward must've sensed the guilt before he spoke.

"It's fine." He smiled genuinely, "I'll see you tonight." He gave me a sweet kiss and then left.

Edward texted me after he left, telling me what time he'd pick me up. _Hey, didn't I ask him out?_ I chilled out for the rest of the day, stretching my foot out, getting used to movement again.

I didn't see Alice all day. Actually, I didn't see anyone except Edward. I napped for a bit before I started getting ready for dinner.

I was a little bit nervous.

Ok. A lot nervous.

I rid my 'Hairy Maclary' look and dressed in a simple blue strapless dress. One sensual zipper undoing by Edward and I'd be practically starkers. I loved the idea. I teamed it with black flats, not wanting to risk breaking a leg, or an ankle, again. I twisted up my hair into a loose bun and applied minimal make up. I was going all out. I packed a small bag, an overnight bag. I hoped I wasn't being too presumptuous, but I was fairly sure where this night was going.

Edward arrived at his designated time.

"You're beautiful." He kissed me on the cheek and walked me to his car. He didn't seem fazed as he picked up my bag and then proceeded to put it on the backseat of his car.

Dad always told me that if I can find a guy that will still be with me even after he's seen me eat spaghetti then I should marry him. I'm going to take his advice tonight in a twisted sort of way.

The mushroom ravioli I ordered was amazing! Edward's serviette was screwed up in a ball by the time I finished. I might've moaned once... or four times, but hey, it was good. So, yes, tonight I'm taking dad's advice. I'm going to sleep with a man who watched me moan on my ravioli. I'm sure that's what Charlie always meant.

Edward finished his meal and then downed the rest of his wine. "Should we order dessert?" He asked me.

"Edward, I don't think you can order the type of dessert I want." I mumbled.

"Sorry?" He smirked. His eyes were darker and I knew he's heard me.

"Uh, I said, do you want dessert?"

He thought, "Food, no." I smiled wickedly.

"Good, let's go." I stood up quickly, my napkin falling to the ground.

"Hey, sit." He pointed to the chair and I sat, "I'll go pay the check." I wanted to protest but he added, "Remember what happened last time?"

I blushed. "I wore flats tonight." I extended my leg into the air for Edward. He swallowed and went to pay the check.

We were in the Volvo and I was looking at Edward out of the corner of my eye. He was trying very hard to watch the road and I ran my fingers lightly up and down his thigh. I felt the car jolt forward as he stepped down on the accelerator as my tracing of his leg became more inward.

I don't remember the car stopping or getting out. Next thing I knew I was kissing Edward and he was pulling me up the stairs into his apartment. He held me against his front door while he panted and kissed my collarbone. I lifted my legs around Edward as his hand groped my ass. He slipped his hand under my dress, rubbing from my knee to the top of my thigh.

His hand dipped round to the front and touched me. I groaned and my head hit the peep hole in his door. We needed to move. "Bedroom." I uttered and Edward carried me through his apartment to his room.

He set me down on the floor and I tangled my fingers in his hair as we licked and nipped at each other's lips and tongues. His mouth trailed over my ear lobe and down my neck while his hands slowly undid my dress. I started to undo his shirt buttons as my dress fell to the floor and pooled at my feet. I pushed off Edward's shirt and stared at his chest.

I kissed the highest place I could reach on Edward, his neck, as he reached around me to undo my bra. The strapless fell away easily. We stood there kissing. Bare chest to bare chest. His hard chest pushed against the softness of mine. We fit in all the right places. His arms circled my waist crushing me closer to him.

I kicked off my flats and pulled Edward as close to me as I could. I felt the bed behind me. I broke away from Edward and I fell back onto the bed and giggled before scooting up onto the pillows. Edward crawled up the bed and was hovering over me. He still had his pants on. He tentatively kissed me.

He grinned at me and went for my neck, sucking and kissing. His lips travelled and found that sweet spot just above my collarbone. He licked and sucked over that spot causing me to arch. "You're so beautiful, Bella." I couldn't respond to that, my brain preoccupied with _other things._ "And sexy." I groaned as Edward pressed himself closer to me as his lips travelled down my chest to the swell of breasts. He ducked his head and his lips slowly began making their way down between my breasts.

He lifted his head and looked at me, well my boobs, and then smiled, "you should never wear a bra." I laughed at his comment. Edward ducked his head back down, embarrassed. His lips mover over my skin and he whispered, "That did not come out right at all."

"I don't mind." I gasped as his other hand moved over my neglected nipple. I lifted his face back to mine and kissed his lips. With one hand on the back of his neck, holding his face to mine, I let my other hand wander over his chest, down over abs and down the dusting of hair that lead right down into his pants. I dipped a couple of fingers into his slacks.

I wanted them gone.

"Edward."

"Bella."

I let my other hand take the same path down his chest pausing on the left side of his 'V'. He was more sensitive there. He moaned into my mouth before onto my right breast. His tongue swirled around it and his teeth grazed it lightly. I arched wanting more. His lips sucked greedily. "Oh, Edward!"

I wanted him.

Now.

"Edward, pants." I said as I undid his belt and then his zipper. "Still going commando, I see."

His hands were on my hips, fingers dipping into my underwear. "I see you aren't." I raised my hips as he pulled them down off my legs.

I tried to push down his pants. He chuckled, "eager are we?"

"Yes," I moaned as he breathed air over my nipple. "Three hundred and fifty-six... ah!" His hand was on my thigh, dangerously close to where I wanted him. He teased me getting too close, but not far enough.

"Counting are we?" He teased and shucked off his pants. He hovered above me, at the ready.

"I want you Edward. Now."

He looked me in the eyes, asking me if I really wanted this. I smiled back at him and nodded confidently. I _wanted _this. I _needed_ this.

I've imagined this moment, replaying it in my mind since I first laid eyes on Edward Cullen scanning the condoms. All the scenarios had been different. Some had candles, some had silk sheets... one even involved the backseat of his Volvo. He kissed me slowly and I grinned. I definitely want to explore the Volvo one later.

I could feel him at my entrance. Edward broke the kiss. I pouted slightly at the loss of contact. _Wow Bella, when did you get so dependent?_ I scoffed at my brain and told it to shut the hell up. I had a beautiful, naked man above me and I was talking to myself. I smiled up at him, looking into his eyes.

I wrapped my legs around Edward's waist as he rocked his hips forward. I placed my hands on his cheeks. His vibrant green eyes were staring at me so intensely it made me blush.

"What?" He chuckled slightly as he filled me completely. The electricity between us was buzzing so I bent my head up to kiss him. We slowly started to move together, in sync. Edward peppered my cheeks with kisses and I giggled, "You're blushing, Bella."

"You were watching me." I ran my fingers through his hair. It was always so soft and so messy. I adored it.

"Well, that's because you look beautiful."

My hips met his every time. He hit me in places I didn't even know existed. It had never been like this with anyone else I'd been with, though I didn't exactly have a large database to work off. He watched me too, breaking his gaze every so often with a kiss. I wasn't nerved with it like I was at first because I understood why he was doing it.

Edward was beautiful too. His mouth teased and touched me so I would arch off the bed at times. I loved hearing his deep and guttural moan as my tongue ran down his neck and across his shoulder. I loved the taste of his salty skin. I loved his smell and how he could still smell like his deodorant and his soap and spearmint, but also sex.

I could feel it, building. We panted and moaned as Edward increased his pace. I was close. I could feel Edward was close too. He reached between us and moved his finger in circles on my clit.

"Edward!" I moaned as I had my release. Edward came soon after, whispering my name, peppering my face with kisses before rolling us over.

_I love you._

I smiled at Edward hoping to hide my fear. I had no idea where that had come from. Edward didn't pick up on the look in my eyes. I don't know if it's because I hid it really well or if I knew deep down it was really true. It could just be a post-coital confession. I kissed Edward before snuggling back into him.

...

Something soft touched my lips. I opened my eyes. Edward was lying next to me, staring at me, with his thoroughly _just fucked _hair.

Hell yeah!

"Morning." He grinned. He kissed me, his mouth minty fresh.

"How long have you been awake?" Edward just shrugged. "Have you been watching me sleep?"

He grinned, "I most certainly have..." I waited for more before realising that there was none.

I rolled onto his chest. "That's the sweetest, creepiest thing ever."

"I'm glad you think so."

I kissed his neck, "you want to know what else I think." I tried in my best sexy voice. I trailed a finger down Edward's chest.

"What?" He asked as I felt him respond to my teasing.

I pulled his earlobe between my teeth, "I think..." I pulled myself up off him, "I need a shower." I giggled as I tried to hastily make my way out of bed.

I put my newly un-casted leg on the ground only to have it collapse under me. My ankle, still, was a bit stiff.

Edward had started scrambling after me the minute I pulled myself off of his chest. So he caught me, under the arms, and he did not miss the opportunity to cop a feel.

"Thanks."

"I think maybe we should shower together, wouldn't want you to fall again." Edward smirked.

"Now why didn't I think of that?" I righted myself and hobbled towards the shower.

I got in and turned on the water, it went hot almost immediately.

Wow, I want to marry this shower. Who needs men when you can have an instantaneous hot stream of water running down your back?

Edward stepped into the shower behind me.

"I'm leaving you for your shower."

He chuckled, "I'm not surprised. Your shower is shit."

It truly was.

I turned around to face him. "Do you remember the very first shower we took together?"

His hands travelled slowly down my sides and came to rest firmly on my ass.

"I do, it went a little like this, didn't it?"

He lifted me up. I quickly wrapped arms around his neck. He surprised me by sliding into me quickly and smoothly.

I gasped.

I wrapped my legs around his body.

"I remember a lot less penetration and a lot more clothing." I tried to joke but it came out weakly. Edward was moving in and out slowly, an excruciatingly slow.

"Mhm," his lips were sucking my neck, "I do remember a lot more grunting though."

"Uh... Oh... Ha... Ugh!" Responding had become too difficult at this stage. I let my head fall back against the tile on the wall.

Edward picked up his pace now that I was close and he was too.

Edward leaned into my ear and whispered, "I remember you being just as _wet_, Beautiful."

My head snapped forward and my eyes opened and locked with his before I fell over the edge screaming, "Edward!"

Edward followed immediately after calling my name.

The water continued to fall in a warm, pressured stream, massaging Edward's back. He laid his forehead against mine, panting.

"Well, that was a considerably better shower than the first." Edward chuckled and then I did too.

Edward sobered up, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, my ankle is a bit stiff, but," Edward's eyes were worried, concerned, "Oh, yes. I'm perfect." I grinned at him and the concern lifted from his eyes. Edward's hands were running over the tops of my thighs. "I'm glad we waited, definitely wouldn't have been able to do this," I tightened my legs around his waist, "with a cast."

Edward laughed, "I agree." He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, "Alright, time to clean you."

"Me!" I feigned insulted, "I am not the dirty one in this shower."

"Mhm."

We finished our shower chastely.

"Breakfast?" Edward asked as he finished dressing first.

"Most definitely." He left with a kiss. I finished getting ready.

My phone rang, so I went to the bedside table and picked it.

"Hello." I said.

There was a pause before a woman said, "Hello," back before adding, "Who is this?" She had a nasally tone. I pulled away the phone.

_Edward's phone!_

Shit, shit, shit. I really should look at the phone before I pick it up. This is how I got in trouble last time!

_What do I say?_

"Uh, are you looking for Edward?" I asked hoping to sidetrack her.

She huffed in annoyance, "Of course I'm looking for Edward, that's why I rang."

_I have a bad feeling about this..._

"Oh," I was hoping to pull off ditzy, "yeah, right. He's not here. Can I take a message?"

Again, she huffed. "No, just tell him to call me back, immediately."

"Sure thing... oh sorry and you were?" I held my breath. She huffed.

_She really should get that checked out. _

"Lauren."

* * *

**_A/N Hello... thoughts?_**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"_Lauren."_

I blanched and stared at the phone before I heard an irritated huff. "You there?" _Lauren's_ nasally voice came.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I was just... looking for a pen." I quirked an eyebrow at my own idiotic lying skills. "Lauren, with an L, yes?" Now I was just being down right stupid. She huffed a 'yes'. "Ok, Lauren, I'll pass on the message to Edward, good-" She cut off my goodbye with her huffing.

"Wait, I never got who you were!" She demanded with a huff.

"I'm... uh... I'm... Oh look, my lesbian lover, ciao!" I hung up really fucking quickly.

_Lesbian lover?_

Now she doesn't think I'm involved with Edward.

_Lesbian lover?_

I just don't want to get murdered or anything.

I placed Edward's cell on the table where it was. Should I tell him?

_NO!_

I deliberated, I probably should... later. I gave one last suspicious glance at the phone and left Edward's bedroom. I walked into the kitchen to see him cooking up some bacon and eggs.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his back. I felt his hand cover mine, rubbing back and forth. I should tell him. He turned around and dipped his head so his lips could meet mine. It was then I decided, as he pulled away and looked at me with a silly grin, that I would tell him later. Just not today. Today was our day.

...

I was sitting on the couch at home next to Edward the next day. I still hadn't told him about the phone call and the longer I put it off the more I didn't want to. I mean, did I really need to tell him about Lauren? What could she possibly want? It's been what... four months since Edward dumped her ass. What could possibly happen in two months?

I snuggled deeper into Edward and tried to lose myself in the boring action movie that the guys had put on. Everyone was here, since Rose moved out we tried to have 'group' movie nights. I'll tell you it's a squeeze trying to fit eight people on our little couch. That's why it was only Alice and Jasper on the couch with Edward and me. We get shotgun firstly because we still live here and we need our men, you know, for pillows and distractions from boring movies.

I could tell Rose and Alice weren't enjoying the movie. Rose kept throwing questioning glances at me lounging all over Edward and Alice kept shovelling chips and dip into her mouth. Jake was on the floor but I couldn't tell whether or not he was actually watching the movie or if he was asleep, his head was in Seth's lap.

I was thinking about last night. I decided to tell my girls about Edward and me and hopefully Lauren too. Right here, right now.

"Hey guys I played the fiddle."

Alice, who was secretly trying to shove a whole chip, loaded with dip, into her mouth had gotten halfway when I made my announcement. She spluttered chomped chip and dip all over Jasper's arm. He discretely used that arm to comfortingly pat her on the back to calm her coughs and no doubt wipe the chip'n'dip on her too.

Rose squealed. I knew that she knew something had been new had gone down between Edward and I. Remember everyone, 'playing the fiddle' is code for sex.

She twisted in Emmett's lap to look at me all wide eyed and yearning for more. Emmett's concentration was broken from the movie, "I didn't you played too! We could have a jam sesh!"

"Emmett, you play the electric bass." Edward told him and Emmett shrugged.

"I'm sure the two go well together."

Jacob on the other hand wasted no time and started firing questions.

"Did you play long? Did you play in tune? How was the bow? Was the bow long? Was the playing hard? Did you sight read?" He gave the last one an over exaggerated wink asking me if I came too. I blushed.

"When did you last play?" Rose asked.

"Ah, last... time I was in Forks."

"How come you didn't know about her fiddle playing if you guys were friends in high school?" Edward's getting suspicious.

"I don't tell everybody when I play the fiddle, Edward" I looked at him pointedly. He stared me down, looking for any sign of weakness I possessed, but I really wasn't lying. I knew what I was saying, just in a roundabout kind of way.

Alice's coughing slowed and she looked at me, "how was the playing?"

"The playing, it was good, phenomenal. That last time was the best I've ever played, but there were... complications," complications in the form of another woman totally ruining my post-'playing' bliss.

Jacob sat up, "complications?"

"Yes, uh, an old fiddle." Jacob cringed, probably imagining the worst possible things. Rose looked downright confused and Alice was repeating the words over and over again, searching for the hidden meaning.

"Don't older instruments sometimes play better?" Rose giggled at Jasper's words but I shut her down with her eyes.

I tapped my chin, "yes, but I can't help but wonder about the previous fiddler." Alice jumped up off the couch at my words.

"Bella, come and help me get some more popcorn." I untangled myself from Edward and followed her into the kitchen. I head Jacob making an excuse about getting a drink.

I was in the kitchen with Alice and Jacob when we heard an explosion of some sort from the TV and Rose huff, "babe I'm bored." Seconds later she was in the kitchen.

Alice put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned on me. "Ok, spill."

"Yes, what the hell is the old fiddler?" Rose questioned.

"Is Edward all wrinkled, like an old man?" Jacob cringed. So did everyone else.

"No, Edward is in no way an old man in that department." I blushed.

"Ok, ok, start from the top!" Alice squealed.

"I'm not telling you everything. He took me to dinner and then we did the deed."

"Where?" Jacob asked. I cocked a brow at him asking, 'where do you think'.

Both he and Rose shot back a look which clearly said they needed clarification because they were both exhibitionists.

"His apartment... his bed, his shower... his bed..." I whispered and Rose and Jacob exchanged impressed looks.

"Getting distracted here!" Alice sang.

"Oh right, so Edward was cooking breakfast and I was finishing getting dressed... after our shower sesh," I blushed profusely, "and his cell rang. I answered thinking it was mine and it was his ex-girlfriend." I waited, "thoughts?" I was getting antsy.

"What did you say?" Alice asked.

"To Edward?" Rose asked Alice.

"Or the ex?" Jacob added.

I let out a short laugh, "All I did was get her name and then I ended the conversation with her." I looked away, "I haven't told Edward."

All three of them were quiet. The explosion of popcorn bag made everyone jump. I opened the microwave door and the smell of burnt popcorn filled the kitchen. Jacob plucked it from the microwave swearing as the hot bag touched his skin and took it over to the sink. Rose and Alice worked on getting all the popcorn out of the microwave.

"Bella, what are you going to do?" Alice called.

"Oh, well, I thought you two were handling it." I could see her roll her eyes as she stuck her hand in to scrap out another lot of popcorn into the bowl that Rose was holding.

Alice clarified, "About Lauren."

"What about Lauren?" I spun and so did Rose. Edward was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Did you know he was there?" I heard Rose hiss. I spun to look at Alice. At least she had the audacity to look guilty.

I wrapped my arms around my chest. Shit. I looked up at Edward. He looked confused.

"Bells, Seth and I are going to leave." Jacob said. I nodded as he touched my arm and left.

Rose came up and wrapped her arms around me, "don't be too hard on her." She kissed my temple and left with Emmett.

I don't know why I felt so guilty. I had nothing to feel guilty about, well except that I'd been hiding information from Edward. I saw Alice open her mouth to speak to me out of the corner of my eye, but she closed it before she said anything. I hadn't removed my eyes from Edward's. He was searching for answers, but I didn't feel comfortable with Alice there. I didn't know how he was going to react.

"Alice," I cleared my throat, "uh, I think you should stay at Jasper's tonight." I knew my voice was deadly calm. Alice flustered before she left.

Then it was just Edward and me.

I couldn't take him looking at me. I dumped the burnt popcorn into the bin and took the bowl to the sink. The blackened popcorn bag was in the sink. I went to pluck it out, but it was still hot.

"Fuck." I dropped it back in the sink. I didn't usually swear, but shit was getting to me. I could feel Edward's gaze on me still and I felt him take the steps across the kitchen to me. I ducked my head letting my hair form a veil over my face.

He took my hand and turned to cold water on and ran it over my hand. I was fine, the bag wasn't hot enough to burn, but Edward was treating it like it was a burn. Edward arm surrounded my waist and I felt his lips against my hair. I flexed my hand.

"I'm fine." Edward turned off the tap and reached across to grab a paper towel and dried my hand.

"I don't think you are." Edward whispered. He swept back the hair I was using as a shield and tucked it behind my ear. He took my hand and started to lead me out of the kitchen.

"No, Edward, I need to clean." I protested but he just continued and pulled me to the couch.

"You need to clean. Why?" He had an amused expression on his face. It made me laugh but caused my eyes to water and my throat to clam up. I closed my eyes to reign in my emotions.

"Yes, clean." I took a deep breath, "I clean when I'm feeling guilty... or upset."

"Which are you now?" I opened my eyes.

"I don't know."

"Then why don't you tell me about Lauren."

I laughed humourlessly, "I could ask you the same question." He cringed and I quickly corrected myself, "uh, you don't have to tell me anything, I mean it's your life and all."

Edward rolled his eyes, he actually rolled his eyes. And then I laughed. I buried my face into my knees and laughed until I had tears coming out of my eyes. "This is so stupid." I laughed again. Edward, who had shared a chuckle or two during my laughing fit, had now sobered up. "I'm getting all worked up aren't I?"

"I think so?" Edward questioned.

"Lauren rang for you."

I held my breath.

"Here?"

"No, actually your cell. I answered by mistake."

"What did you say?"

"You're not interested in what she said?"

"No."

"Oh... She asked for you and I said you weren't there. She then asked who I was." I blushed.

"What did you say?" He smiled and swept his fingertips over my blush.

"Um... I said, 'oh look my lesbian lover' and hung up." Edward started to laugh. I buried my face into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I swatted at his chest, "shut up!" The sound stopped but I could still feel the vibrations of his laugh. "You're not mad."

Edward tilted my chin up, "I'm not mad." He kissed me.

"I've just been so happy recently and here was this blonde telephone caller trying to ruin everything, hence the overreaction."

"You remember she was blonde?" He looked at me and I blushed, "what else do you remember?"

"Emmett might have told me a few things... before we started dating."

"This should be interesting." He rubbed his hand over face, an unconscious stress reaction.

"Emmett didn't spill much. He said that you moved to California with her and she had a... an _interesting_ job and something about Esme and then you moved back when you did."

"That's basically the jist of it. Um... I met Lauren a couple of weeks before I graduate from high school at a party. She seemed sweet and nice and you could call her attractive," my stomach dropped. Edward ran his thumb over the apple of my cheek, "Bella, you are much more attractive and infinitely more beautiful."

I blushed.

"We, sort of hooked up at the party," _'sort of'_ I raised an eyebrow in question and he rolled his eyes at his phrase, "ok, we hooked up. I finished high school and Lauren and I dated for the summer. Originally I had been planning on staying here for college, but I had applied elsewhere, California. Lauren said that she was going to California."

"And you followed?"

"Yes," his hand made its way into his hair and he tugged slightly, "Esme wasn't too happy with my decision. I see now her reasoning. I barely knew Lauren; I hadn't met her family, actually I knew nothing about them. What I did know was that Lauren had acquired a small apartment near UCLA, I was unsure of the means though, and that she'd let me live there free of charge."

"Well, that was... nice of her?" I was trying to be upbeat about this. Edward pulled me closer to him.

"I suppose you could say that."

"What no good?"

"Uh, no, the apartment was fine, but all of it was suspicious. I should've seen the signs, I mean, come on, what 18 year old has access to a two bedroom apartment free of charge with no known family intervention?"

"Oh, so it had two bedrooms?" I swallowed. I begged my mind not to go down that path.

"Uh, yes," Edward didn't add any more. He relaxed his grip on me, but I tightened my hold on him. I wasn't going anywhere. "I started school, Lauren went into nursing. I thought she was a very dedicated student, she, supposedly, spent a lot of hours studying at night. Second year she told me that she had practical training at a hospital. She never told me which one, but every morning she would come home in scrubs.

So Valentine's Day this year she tells me that she has to work. I'd accepted this, seeing as most of her time went into the hospital. I went to a party with some guys I had met at uni. Most of them were single or had girlfriends with 'open minds'."

"What does that mean, 'open minds'?"

"Uh, we kind of ended up at a strip club." I shivered; this was where the story turned bad.

I swallowed, "go on."

He laughed bitterly, "so I'm sitting there, drowning myself with beer, I wasn't a big fan of the whole stripper deal, but something catches my eye."

"Lauren."

"Yeah. I know she saw me, sitting there all flabbergasted, but she just keeps on..."

"Doing her stuff?" Edward nodded.

"I left the next morning, she asked me to stay, she didn't think it was a big deal."

"It was the trust, wasn't it? That's why Esme went all serious about secret keeping when we had lunch with your parents."

"Mm. When I moved back I didn't tell them why, straight away. They had supported me through school in California, but when I moved back here I refused to take any of their money."

"So that's why you work at Wal-Mart?"

"Yes, it just didn't feel right. Mom was so upset, she took it personally. I sold my car and spent the left over money on school and the Volvo. My Wal-Mart money pays my rent and remaining school fees." He shifted uncomfortably, "I do have access to a trust fund."

I knew Edward's parents were well off, so this was no shock. "Why don't you use it?" Edward blushed, just a little. It wasn't a frequent occurrence.

"I do." I waited, "but not on myself. Um at the moment there isn't much of a dent taken out." He shifted uncomfortably.

"What do you spend it on?"

"You."

"Oh."

I shifted, bringing my knees closer into my chest. Edward quickly spoke, "it's not much, just dinners and stuff." It was weird to think that every time he'd bought me something, even if it was just a cup of coffee that it came from money from his parents.

But, I guess even if it was just a cup of coffee he wouldn't dip into his trust fund for a measly three dollars. The restaurants we'd been to in the last couple of weeks had been no Taco Bell. Edward looked uncomfortable.

"It's ok." And I think it was. Logically, it was Edward's money to do with as he pleased. Edward liked to give. We'd argued about paying before and while I felt uncomfortable letting him waste his money on me, it's his way of showing that he cares. As well as the whole 'me man, I provide for you, woman', masculinity issue that he would have without his moola.

"I can stop." I could see that he really didn't want to offer the option.

I laughed and moved a bit closer to him, "no, it's fine. If you want to waste half a million buying me stake every now and again I won't stop you." I felt Edward freeze next to me. "It's more isn't it?"

"Uh..."

"Please, just don't tell me."

"Ok." He wrapped his arm around me and softly trailed his fingers up and down my upper arms.

"So, is that everything?" I asked hesitantly.

"I think so. My mother was really anxious to meet you, you know." He kissed the top of my head as I nuzzled into his chest. "She really loves you though. I thought she'd be more hesitant after Lauren."

"But she's ok with me."

"More than ok."

"Well, I'm ok with that." I yawned. "So, you've no idea why she called?"

"None, but I don't plan to call her back." I stifled another yawn, "you should go to bed."

"Will you stay with me?" He smiled and nodded. I got up off the couch to check to see if the front door was locked. I paused on my way past the kitchen. I could see bits of popcorn on the floor, as well as the dirty bowls. Alice. I cringed.

Edward came up behind me. "Don't be mad at her."

"I'm not, I just feel guilty." Edward and I walked to my room. I sent a quick text to Alice telling her that we'd talk tomorrow and that stuff between us was alright. If I knew Alice then she was probably stewing with guilt. I turned off my phone. I had nowhere to be tomorrow and I'd prefer no interruptions.

I got into bed with Edward, laying my head on his chest. "I don't know if I would've told you about the phone call if it wasn't for Alice's interfering."

"Well, I probably would've refrained from telling you about Lauren too. It's not my proudest moment."

"Thank you." I kissed him. "Goodnight, Edward."

I started to drift off. I still felt a little uneasy at the thought of Edward's ex just ringing out if the blue. What if she rings again? Should I take up jujitsu? I'm not really the fighter type. One uppercut and I think I'd be out for the season. I know Lauren's blonde and I always pictured her with long nails. Kind of like a cat, she could totally whip them out suddenly when we're in the middle of a battle and scratch me to death.

_Should I get a tetanus shot now?_

"You don't need a tetanus shot." I heard Edward's sleepy drawl. I hadn't realised I had said that out loud.

I lightly felt Edward's arm hug me tighter. I nuzzled deeper into his chest, breathing in his Edward scent. I felt sleep begin to take me. The last I heard before it did was, "Night, love."

...

I was woken from my hazy Edward scented sleep by a ringing. I pressed my nose harder into his chest.

"No, tell them to go away." I mumbled before my pillow rumbled.

"I've got to get this." I felt my pillow slip away.

"No!" I mumbled as my face fell into the mattress. It smelled like Edward, mmm.

I felt him kiss my tangled hair before I heard my bedroom door open and then close again.

I tried to regain unconsciousness in the mattress, but I could find none. It was too soft and too still. I pulled my real pillow under my head and laid on my side. Despite the curtains I could see the sun streaming into the room. Sleep was futile now. I grumbled before sitting up and brushing a hand through my knotted hair. I looked at the clock, it was just past nine.

_Stupid person making telephone calls this early in the morning!_

Wait... someone rung Edward's phone.

You don't think...

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**_A/N Who rung? Leave a review, pretty please, with sugar on top and your choice of Edward :)_**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

I climbed out of bed and went in search of Edward. He was in the living room. I stood back and watched him. He would pace and then stop, pace and stop, always stopping when he had to talk and always pacing when he had to listen.

He was smiling so I took a step closer.

"Yea... yes... that sounds fantastic," he nodded, "at nine?" He had walked into the kitchen and was now scribbling on his hand with a pen he had picked up. "Thank you, goodbye." He hung up smiling.

He turned to me. It must have been a good phone call, why else would he be smiling? He wouldn't smile after a phone call from _her_. Would he?

"That was my professor." Ok, that's a shock.

"You have their number?"

"Uh, yea, anyway, he wants me to shadow him twice a week for a month." Edward smiled hugely.

"But, school's out."

"Oh, yea, summer school." He smiled wider and it was infectious. I jumped into his arms and he hugged me to him.

"Congratulations."

He spun me around so my butt found the back of the couch.

"When do they want you to start?" I kissed him, pulling on his shirt, pulling him closer, deeper.

I started to shimmy out of my shirt and Edward did the same to his, "June 21." He said inside his shirt.

"The day after your birthday." I stated and froze. Shit! Edward's birthday and I have nothing. Ah, crap, shit!

"Yeah," he said distracted as he pulled my shirt off since I'd been rendered immobile. Edward didn't notice because once my shirt was gone I was back on him.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him in tighter. His hands found my hips.

I pulled backwards and we found ourselves on the seat of the couch all tangled up in each other. Edward wriggled around so that I was on top of him. I pulled down his pyjama bottoms to find, like always, no underwear.

He wiggled his eyebrows and I rid myself of my bottoms also. He grinned as I hovered above him. Sex, that's what I can give him, handfuls of sex...

...

"No, I can't just give him sex." I had already had this argument with myself, sure it was an easy present, but I wanted to give him something more. Something with meaning. Not just something that said, _'yeah I get wet at your touch_'; sinks say that to taps and look at the exciting lives they lead.

"Have you asked Alice?" I was talking to Rose and she hadn't come up with many solutions.

"No." I hadn't spoken to Alice since yesterday's big kafuffle. She had responded to my text asking if we could talk. "She knows we're cool." I didn't believe those words fully.

"I don't think she does B." I knew that.

"I'll talk to her ok!" I said.

"Are you ok?" I hadn't told Rose about Edward's and my conversation. It was too private to tell.

"Yes, Edward and I are perfectly fine." Rose hesitated and I knew she was processing my words.

"Great, now talk to Alice." Rose said finally, believing my words, and hung up on me. Bitch.

I tossed the phone between my hands debating to call Alice now or not. I felt a little bit guilty at how I'd handled this, but also a bit raw from the way she had also. I had work soon so I texted her asking if we could talk at lunch.

Work was just splendid and way too quick. I was nervous about meeting my best friend and it felt really weird. We always promised that we'd never let a guy come between us, was I doing that now? Where does _'hoes before bros'_ leave you when the scenario calls for bros to be first?

I left work after Angela had practically pushed me out the door and went to the cafe Alice and I had agreed upon. We had never fought like this before, never had we forced one another from the house.

I stepped into the cafe and looked for Alice. She was sitting at a far table ripping her napkin into tiny pieces. I ordered something and walk over to the table.

She saw me and watched as I walked over.

"Hey," I said lamely.

"Hi." Her voice was so small and not its usual chipper. I walked around the table and hugged her. I felt the surprise but she hugged me back.

"I'm sorry Ali."

"No," her head was shaking, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interfered." I didn't refute her and just hugged her tighter.

After the formal apology it was easy, she us my best friend and all, and then I sprung the question of the day on her: what to get Edward.

"Well, what does he like Bella?"

I shrugged, "music, his car, me?" I wiggled my brows at Alice.

She rolled her eyes. I didn't even know which team I was on anymore in the _let's just give him sex _debate.

Alice shot up from her chair and dashed across the cafe towards the door.

"Alice," I hissed at her. She gave me _the eyes _which clearly said, "Don't make a scene" and exited.

Was I just ditched?

She had left her bag here so I don't think I was. She returned with a paper in her hand.

"I saw this today." She said as she sat down and flipped through the paper.

"Did you steal that?" She rolled her eyes.

"I'm just borrowing it."

"You stole a paper!"

"No, I asked the guy if I could borrow it." She was now ripping something out of the paper. "I'm taking it back now."

"All ripped?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." She stuck her tongue out at me, stands, slides the ripped piece of paper across to me and leaves again.

I look at it. It's an advertisement for a new piano/jazz bar that's opening up on his birthday. Alice is a genius.

...

I extricated myself from Edward's arms slowly and carefully. It's his birthday today and I'm going to make him breakfast. Hopefully in bed if he plays by the rules. I made my way into the kitchen and stop. We're at his place for some privacy, which is definitely not a bad thing, problem is I don't know where anything is.

Do you think he even owns a frying pan?

I feel like pancakes so I decide to make him my chocolate chip ones. I do locate a fry pan and I pull out the ingredients I bought over last night and get to work.

Emmett, I'm sure has superpowers when it comes to food. Sometimes I'm just cooking and he just pulls up outside and comes in for dinner. His nose, he says, can smell food from anywhere, especially my food. As soon as Edward's arms encircle my waist I knew I should've have know better than to try to hide food Emmett Cullen's brother.

"Pancakes?" Edward asked. I nodded and flipped three pancakes onto the plate in a stack and sit it down on the bench. I turned in his arms.

"Happy birthday." He smiled and kissed me. I broke away breathless, "breakfast." I see his eyes twinkle and he wriggled his eyebrows. Maybe I should've gone with my first present... "Food before dessert." I smirked and he willingly carried his plate to the small dining table.

I put the other pancake on a plate for myself and grabbed the vanilla ice cream out of the freezer. Ice cream is always ok for breakfast when it comes to pancakes.

Edward already downed one when I joined him at the table. "Dijano" His mouth is full so he swallowed, "you're amazing." He kissed me tasting all chocolatey. I grinned and held up the ice cream, his eyes widened and I spooned some onto his plate. "Mom never ever let me have ice cream for breakfast, even with pancakes." I laughed because of his child like state and we ate in silence.

...

I slid on some skinny jeans and tee for tonight, doing that little dance when I did up my jeans. Edward watched me, or my butt, as I put them on and then opted for something comfortable too. I hadn't told him where we were going, all I said was 'out' which caused him to try and tempt the answer from me.

Lucky me!

Word had gotten out about the bar. Apparently it's run by some guy who used to be someone... anyway, before Edward's and my time.

I had spoken to the manager and he was letting Edward and me in early, before the queued rush at the door. Apparently the guy who owned the bar Jenks, or JJ in the jazz world knows Edward's music professor at school, small freaking' world, isn't it?

I climbed into the driver's side of the truck and settled behind the wheel. I ignored Edward's nose crinkle as he climbed in. I knew how much he despised her, especially after the comment she got when she had to be jump started after I hadn't driven her for 6 weeks.

He slid right across to me. I didn't know if it was safe to drive with Edward sitting this close, his Edward scent clouding all sensible judgement.

"Where are we going, Bella?" He asked smoothly.

"Out."

"Where?"

"Into town." He looked at me, this was the most information he'd gotten so far and he was excited.

"Into town." He repeated. I rolled my eyes and drove on. I knew there was no way he was going to figure it out because he doesn't know about it, but I watched as he looked out the widescreen eagerly trying to pinpoint where I was heading.

I pulled up at the curb and turned off the truck. Edward was pressed against his window looking out. There were several restaurants along the street, but they all looked much more upscale than we did. I got out and walked around to the passenger side where Edward was getting out.

He looked at the upscale restaurants, "Are we underdressed?"

"Do you ever stop questioning?"

"No."

"You don't like being left in the dark, do you?"

He tried to think of a quirky comeback but I could see his mind working overtime. I tugged his hand before the smoke started coming out of his ears from overuse. I pulled him to the bar door and had some quiet words with the guy at the door. Edward's face is bemused as he lets us in. I led Edward into the bar. There is a piano in one corner and in the opposite there is the band all set up and playing smooth jazz.

Edward buys us drinks and we sit and watched the band. I watched Edward as he watched. His fingers tapped the rhythms on my waist and thigh. He is doing it unconsciously as he is engulfed in the music. I relax into him and just let him be.

Edward ordered me another drink as our food come to our table. The waitress put down my beer and a coke for him and hesitated way too long, but he's still looking at me. I smiled.

"Thank you, Bella." Edward said.

"It's just nachos..." I waved him off as I try to get a chip into my mouth. I look up as I chew and I see Edward looking at me. His eyes are soft. "You're welcome." I leant up and kiss him. "You've got a bit of, something." I waved at his chin where there is salsa.

He laughed, "That's 'cause you've got a clump of it on your chin." He licked it off, and sucked for a bit too long. I nudged him and his lips found mine again.

...

I see his eyes glance over at the shiny black piano. "Do you think they've got a pianist tonight?" He asked. I almost choked on the pianist part. My drinks had gone straight to me.

"I don't know," I swallowed the rest of my drink, "but now I need to pee...anist." Edward laughed at my lame attempt at humour, "Oh god, worst joke ever right?" I said as I headed off the ladies room.

I washed up and exited the bathroom. I heard the tinkling of a piano. I guess there is a piano player tonight. I looked for Edward, but I can't see him near our usual table.

_Where is he?_

My eyes swept the bar a few more times. Still can't see Edward though. I move forward towards the table where we were sitting. This lets me see more of the piano, or more like the person playing it.

And you'll never guess who it was.

Mozart!

No, joking, Edward. He looked up and his eyes found mine. He smiled and my feet moved me towards him. I don't know if you're meant to sit with the performers but I was going to do it.

I slid onto the piano seat. "Hi." He said shyly. I watched his fingers as they danced over the keys and listened to the melody that he was playing. It was beautiful, light, and happy.

"Hi." I replied. "I didn't know you played."

"I don't, well, not often."

"You should."

"What?"

"You should play more. It's beautiful."

"I don't have a piano."

I wanted to buy him a piano.

"This song," he hesitated, "it reminds me of you."

"Hey, Edward," I didn't continue. I wanted his eyes. He kept playing but he looked up at me when I didn't continue.

"Yeah?" He smiled sillily. He looked so happy. I could feel the song coming to a close and I needed to say something. It just felt right and I smiled at the realisation.

"I was just thinking..." I let my eyes drop for a split second and watch the circles I was drawing on his thigh. I looked up again and said, "Just thinking that I love you."

His fingers played the final notes but he didn't look away from my eyes. "Good, because I love you too." I sighed and felt the huge weight that I didn't realise was on my chest off. It wasn't important for him to say the words back but it made everything so much better.

He took my hand and led me off the piano bench and out of the bar and to my truck.

Here he pushed me against the door. The intimate nature of the piano bench was gone and we were just two horny adults again. His mouth caught mine as he pushed himself between my legs. His hands wandered down my sides and cupped the back of my thighs. He lifted me higher so we were face to face. I wrapped my legs around him so he didn't have to hold me, but he kept his hands rubbing my thighs.

A wolf whistle broke my face away from him. "As much as I'd love to do this now, I'd prefer they not see it." Edward smirked. He slipped his hand into the front of my jeans pocket and pulled out my keys. "My place."

"Most definitely."

We barely got through the door before Edward was hoisting me around his waist again. "I love you Bella." My shirt was ripped over my head.

"Uh!" My head hits his front door as I throw it back because his mouth is doing bad, bad things. And by bad I mean amazing.

We are grinding against each other on his front door. And there's something wrong with this situation. Yes, too many clothes.

"Pants." Edward panted.

I knew there was a reason I loved this man.

...

Edward's alarm goes off. He groaned and nuzzled further into me. I slide up stop the alarm. His thigh is tangled with mine. "I don't want to go to school." He groaned.

He and I both know that the alarm was set early last night but I know if I give him another five minutes there'll be trouble.

"I'm going to shower, Edward. You better be up by the time I get out"

He smirked in his sleep. Dirty thoughts, "Can I come with you." Another smirk. He cracked open one of his eyes.

I smirked this time, "I hope so."

...

I drove Edward to the school and got out and walked him in. He's nervous and we're early, so I sat with him. We heard footsteps and he looked up.

"My professor..."

I gave him a quick kiss. "Relax, I love you."

He smirked, "Ditto." I roll my eyes as his ego returns and his nerves disappeared.

"Go tame the rebels."

I made my way out to my truck and got in. I turned the key and the engine ticked over. I turned it again and nada.

"Come on, come on." Nothing. Well shit.

I grabbed my phone and called Rose, "My truck has died." I told her.

"He's finally gone to the big scrap junkyard in the sky." She teased.

"I'm stranded." I whined.

"Where?" I gave her the school's location, "Ok, I'll be there in twenty, let's see if we can revive the beast one more time."

I hung up and got out of the truck. It's hot in there with no air con working. I go and sit under tree on a bench and wait for Rose to come. I see the summer school kids going in unwillingly.

Rose finally comes, ok, she's three minutes earlier than predicted so I give her credit. I hop up off the bench and call to her when she sees my truck unoccupied. She nods but then laughs and I don't know why until I collide with someone.

We both fall to the ground. She has papers everywhere on the ground from where I knocked them out of her hands. She is visibly pissed and I started to collect her papers for her. She doesn't help me.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." I am flustered as I neaten her pile of papers and hand them to her.

She huffed, "obviously." Her voice is so familiar but I cannot place it. I hold her papers out to her and she snatched them back.

"Sorry again." I said as we both got up off the ground.

She just huffed as she patted off the non-existent dirt and started to walk away. One of her boobs bumped my shoulder. I am not kidding when I say this, but they're huge. She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and walked away with a sashay that I think is meant to look appealing but just made her look like she was trying to walk with a balloon between her knees. Maybe she's not used to heels.

She entered the school and I wonder if she is a student.

Rose was still letting out random giggles when I approached her. "You bounced off her like two sumo wrestlers." She gagged out.

I ignored her comment. Her huffy, nasally voice is still on my brain and I can't for the life of me remember where I've heard it before. Rose cracks the hood of my truck and investigates. "Your battery has just died."

"He's not dead?" I asked.

"Not yet, come on. Get a lift with me. I'll fix him tomorrow." I climbed into her car. I pulled out my phone again to text Edward about my truck when it all came crashing down on me.

Edward. Blonde. Huffy, nasally voice.

"Rose, did you ever know anything about Edward's ex girlfriend?" I asked her. She and Emmett were dating when he would've been dating Lauren. The thought made me shiver.

"No. She and I were never introduced and their parents never spoke about her. I never really met Edward until my birthday."

"Oh."

I'm probably just being stupid. I mean, she'd be what 21, 22? There is no way she'd be in school. Unless she's like Edward, teaching? Ok, just to be stereotypical, but she doesn't really look like the education type.

"Why?" Rose looked at me and I fidget under her gaze.

"Do you think that the girl I ran into looks like a Lauren?" I asked her.

"Big boobs, fake blonde hair, stick up the ass, yep that sounds like a Lauren."

"Rose, you've never met a Lauren, how would you know?"

"I'm sure that definition is in the dictionary or something."

"Urban dictionary." I mumbled.

"Doesn't lie. Anyway, why would she be here? At the school?"

"True, true." I shook my head, "I'm just paranoid. Edward loves me, not her. And she should be in California."

"Wait, wait, wait." Rose waved her hand around, "He loves you?" Oh, let that one slip.

"Uh, yes." And Rose squealed and pulled into the driveway. She hugged me. "I'm happy." And she looks it.

"Thanks." I blush a little.

"Ok, enough sap. I'll get Em into Ed's apartment and then get the Volvo here to you?"

"Plan much? And don't call him Ed." She nodded, still beaming and pulled me in for another hug.

I thanked her and got out of her car. I go inside and collapse on the couch. Alice is home, I can hear her.

"Bella?" She called.

"Yes."

She came out of her room and perched herself on the coffee table and leant forward eagerly, "So, how was everything."

I smile, "everything went very well." I shrugged, "we love each other Al." She squealed and clapped her hands together.

"I could practically see it." I sat up and hugged her. The doorbell pulled us apart. Alice shrugged and I got up to go answer it.

I opened the door and stared at the woman behind it.

_What is she doing here?_

**_A/N "Hey," she says lamely as she begs for your forgiveness at the chapter delay, promises a week tops for the next chapter and offers a teaser for every review._**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

_What is she doing here?_

I stare at her and she stares at me, granted she looks a little happier than my face looks. I'm shocked because she shouldn't be here. It's just not right and I want to know why.

So I ask her, "What are you doing here?"

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asks. I nod numbly and let the door swing open and step back to let her walk through.

She appraises the house. Alice stands and comes to the door.

"Alice!" She says and hugs Alice.

"Oh," Alice is a bit shocked at the sudden hug attack but wraps her arms around her. "Hi, how have you been?" Alice asks like they're best friends again.

I'm just a little pissed and a lot unprepared. I mean, come on, who just shows up randomly unannounced.

"Thanks for the notice mom." I hug her and she hugs me back. My annoyed surprise ebbs away and is replaced my happiness.

"The house looks fine sweetie." She says and I glance around. It looks alright.

"I still could've cleaned up a little." Renee pulls away and rolls her eyes. I was always the clean one. Renee lives in an airy fairy land where surprise visits are totally ok and not doing the dishes is perfectly acceptable too.

It's not by the way. I prefer to not have to eat my cereal out of a mixing bowl.

"How've you been?" And what are you doing here?

"Lovely, but how are you? Rose moved out yet?"

"Fine. How did you know Rose was moving?"

"They're engaged, of course she was going to move out." She tries to pulls the 'please, mother knows best' look, but fails. "Ok, I saw it on Facebook." My mother and social networking, who knew?

"Yes, she moved out." I lead her through to the couch. I didn't miss her trying to subtly look into my room. I assumed she was looking for someone. "Where's Edward?" She smiles sweetly.

"He's at school. He's shadowing summer school." I smiled proudly.

"Will I get to meet him?"

"How long are you here?" And where are you staying? "Is Phil here?"

"No, Phil's not here. I came on my own."

"Bit spontaneous Renee." Alice brings out coffee.

Renee turns on me, "Well the last time we spoke you had a broken leg and a new boyfriend. That was six weeks ago. You could've died in that time."

"And it took you six weeks to find out if I was dead?"

"I knew you were alive." I question that with my eyes, "mother's intuition." She rolls her eyes at me, "So, spill on your new boy. Is he tall? Is he smart? Does he pleasure you, Bel-"

"Ew! Stop mom." I put my hands over her mouth, "are you going to behave?" She nods and I move my hands.

"What's so wrong about wanting to know if my daughter is satisfied?"

"The wanting part?"

Alice giggles, "Bella is very happy with Edward, Renee." I roll my eyes and slouch into the couch.

"That's all I want to know. None of the gory details, you are my daughter after all."

"It's almost been three months, hasn't it Bella?" Alice was adding fuel, so I shot her a dirty look and she laughed.

"Where are you staying?" I asked Renee.

"Oh, well I have a flight out of here tomorrow afternoon. I just came to visit, but not for long. Phil needs me and all."

"Do you want to stay here? Rose's room is free."

Renee's eyes lit up. "That'd be great."

Renee got herself situated in Rose's old room. The rest of the day went off pretty well. I caught up with Renee and her shenanigans. Emmett dropped the Volvo around just in time for me to pick Edward up. I left him with Renee congratulating him on Rose and his engagement. Emmett looked awkward. I don't think he's met Renee before the scream of 'congratulations' and the hug.

I pulled up just as I saw Edward exit. He looked tired, but happy when he saw me, or his car. I hope it was me. I got out and went around to the curb knowing he would want to drive and I wanted to greet him.

But then I saw him.

"What's wrong?"

He smiled but I knew it was off. He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him. I could feel it. Something bad had happened and he was trying to rid himself of it right now. I hugged him harder.

"I don't want to talk here. Do you want to go home?" He pulled back with his arms still around me.

"Well, my mom showed up, unannounced. I don't think you're ready to deal with her yet." He kissed me on the forehead. "Can we go to yours?"

He dropped his arms and nodded.

We arrived at Edward's apartment in silence and I pull him upstairs. I'm a little nervous, but I'm not sweating yet, so I know that all is ok.

He doesn't say anything.

"How was your day?"

He smiled, "It was good. Shadowing was great, I learnt heaps and my professor even threw the spotlight over to me." His words were genuine. He enjoyed all of that.

"Edward, talk to me."

He frowned, "Lauren was there." And just like that all the air left my body. I sat down on his coffee table. How does this happen? We're happy and we hadn't heard anything from her in a week and now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.

"Blonde hair, big boobs." I mumbled.

"What?" He had taken a step closer but still refused to come over to me.

"She has like, really big boobs." I held out my hands, exaggerating little, mimicking her chest.

"Well, they weren't that big when I last saw her, but yes."

I laughed, a little because of relief when I saw Edward's face look revolted and a little because of how funny this situation is.

But really it's not funny at all.

"Why is she here?" I got up and walked to him. I took his hand in two of mine. "It's ok."

"I don't know. She wants to talk to me though, but I ignored her for the most part."

"So is she like a... student?" He nodded and I laughed. He smiled.

"I know she finished school, but I don't know why she's doing it again."

"Don't worry we'll figure it out." He smiled hugely on the '_we'_ and then kissed me.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked, "I've never met your mother before."

I smirked, "no, let's stay here. You've already had a bad enough day."

"Let's go." I let the serious conversation drop for now and we drive to my place.

I open the door to my place and peak inside. "Maybe I'll be able to smuggle you in without Renee knowing." I whisper over my shoulder.

He pushes on the front door. "Bella, it's just your mother. How can she be?"

Famous last words, huh?

I tip toe in. Edward's making way too much noise with his shoes. I want to ask him to take them off but I know he'll refute that. I see Renee round the corner and I know my attempts have been pointless. She sees us and walks over calmly.

"Edward?" She asks, "I'm Renee." I watch it unfold. Renee is polite and calm and I am shocked at this behaviour.

Edward holds out his hand, "very nice to meet you." I watch as Renee looks at Edward's hand and then at Edward's face. I watch as it turns to chaos as she reaches up and cups Edward's face between her hands and kisses both his cheeks twice.

"We're," kiss, "practically," kiss, "family," kiss, "Edward." Kiss.

Edward is shocked but allows my mother kiss his cheeks. She pulls away from him, regards him and while she still is holding his face in her hands, leans in towards me and 'whispers', "he's very good looking, Bella. Well done." She beams at Edward; he blushes, and then, finally, she releases his face.

"Mom!" I hiss at her.

After that it all goes fairly well. I make dinner, watching Renee constantly. She is being fairly civil now. But being Renee I know it won't last. Of course she picks the most inopportune times to speak her mind.

"Edward, are you staying tonight." I swallow, it is innocent enough. Edward looks awkwardly at me.

"Uh," He starts.

"Because you know it is alright." Renee continues.

"Uh," Edward tries again.

"I know you are most likely sleeping with my daughter." I choke a little at her words.

"Well," Edward tries but yet again Renee cuts him off.

"I brought ear plugs."

"Mom."

"You know it's always the quiet ones who are screamers." I splutter at her words and struggle to breathe again before she continues with, "I just pray that you two are being safe. I am too young to be a grandmother." Edward pats me on the back and I want to cry from embarrassment.

"Mom! Please stop." I beg her.

"Alright, I'm beat. I'm going to turn in." She kisses me and Edward on the forehead, "goodnight kids. Remember, earplugs."

My face is burning and I bury it in my hands. "You can go, if you want." Edward just laughs.

"Wow, your mother is something."

"Brain dead is more like it. Really, could she not take a hint? I was choking, choking on her words, Edward." I peak through my fingers at him and see he is grinning.

"So you really think she is going to wear earplugs to bed?"

"Edward!" I groan.

"Actually, can I stay?"

"You know you're welcome." He kisses me, "but we're definitely not doing anything."

"But earplugs!"

"You get the dishes for that comment." I grin and the happiness has returned to his eyes.

...

As Edward only has to shadow twice a week he chose two consecutive days, which means that I get two days that I get to wake up extra early. Yay. Nothing went down last night, so if Renee wore earplugs it was her problem.

Edward shuffles awake. "I'm up, I'm up." He mumbles as he shuffles against me. And he is truly up indeed...

After a shower together we have breakfast.

"Morning kids." Renee smiles.

"Morning Renee." Alice chimes just as happily.

"Morning mom." I grumble.

"Did you sleep well, Renee?" Edward asks.

"I did," she smiles, "either my earplugs work wonders or you two aren't as exciting as I imagined."

Edward blushes and focuses on his cereal bowl. I bet he regrets being polite.

"Mom, don't imagine. Please." I beg.

"Oh, darl, I'm just teasing." I think she is. "So, what's the plan for today?" She asks.

"What time is your flight?"

"Two."

"Well if you come with me to drop Edward off at school then we will spend the day together."

"Jasper is coming over tonight Bells." Alice says before she winks at Renee. Renee winks back. Neither is shy. Alice and Renee have always spoken openly and freely about that type of stuff. I'm too reserved, sort of like Charlie.

Rose texts me so she can meet me this morning to put in a new battery. Renee rides in the back of the Volvo and everything is pleasant, for which I am thankful.

We arrive and Edward parks. "Hey, mom, my truck is over there, can you wait for Rose?"

"Sure." She hugs Edward, "very nice to meet you, Edward."

"Renee, it's been interesting." She laughs and then goes over to my truck.

Edward kisses me but before he says goodbye I stop him. "I was thinking," I pause. I'm only semi-sure about this decision, "that you should find out what Lauren wants. Maybe have lunch, or something?"

"You'll come with me."

"If you want..."

"I want." I kiss him one more time.

"Go to school, Edward." And I send him to school with a ridiculous grin on his face.

I see Renee watching me. She looks positively giddy at what she just saw. I roll my eyes and continue forth to where Rose is putting my new battery in. She looks relieved to see me. I would guess that Renee was hassling her about her engagement.

"All fixed." Rose stands up.

"Thanks Rose." I hug her and whisper in her ear, "how bad."

"One shopping trip and you're off the hook." She says through strained teeth.

"Deal." I pull away from her and we agree for a shopping trip on the weekend.

I showed Renee out on the town. It's good to keep her mind distracted and entertained. I saw her off to the airport promising to ring more often and went to a late lunch with Alice and Rosalie. Alice got dizzy about the upcoming shopping trip. I started thinking about possible excuses.

Edward came by after school.

"I couldn't do it." He said as we washed up.

"What?"

"I couldn't talk to _her_." His face scrunched, "I left because I never wanted to see her again."

"I really want to know why she's here."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want her hanging above our heads." I wiped my hands on the tea towel and handed it to Edward.

"Aren't you worried?"

"Should I be?" I looked him in the eyes. I could see that I shouldn't be worried, but I couldn't see why Edward thinks I should be.

"No, but I am." I placed my hands on his cheeks.

"Don't be. I've got you and you've got me, right?" He smiled and kissed me. "Are you going to talk to her?" He shook his head. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him. He did the same to me. I slid my hands into his back pockets subtly. We stayed for a little bit before I pulled back slightly and, again subtly, moved my hands to his side pocket.

Bingo!

I kissed him on the chin and pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried to get away.

"Bella." Edward warned. I scrolled through his recently called list and squirmed, trying to keep the phone out of his hands. I found _her_ name and hit call. "Bella, no!"

I reached it to my ear, "It's ringing, too late." Edward still tried to snatch for his phone.

Then someone picked up.

"Edward!" She shrilled.

Oh shit. I really hadn't thought this through.

"Uh, no, not Edward, I'm his friend."

"Girlfriend." Edward said loud and clear but I'm not sure if Lauren heard it or if she chose to not hear it.

The excitement in her voice was gone and it was now the huffy voice. "Are you calling for Edward?"

"Yes, he'd like to meet up with you to discuss... recent events?" Edward was looking kind of pissed now.

Ah well.

"Really?" Her excitement and pitch picked up now, "Oh, how about dinner on Saturday?" She named somewhere I didn't know.

"Sure, I'll book."

"Tell Edward that's I'm looking forward to seeing him." I rolled my eyes and said goodbye before I hung up.

"We're having dinner with her on Saturday."

"No."

"Edward, please, it's the only way to get rid of her."

"You're coming with me."

I snorted, "Please I wouldn't miss this." I tapped my chin with his phone, "plus I'm going shopping on Saturday, so I'll pick up something that'll knock the fake tits off her body."

He still looked angry but he wrapped his arms around me. "Will you buy something for me too?"

"Sure, what do you... Oh!"

Now I'm strangely looking forward to Saturday.

...

"Ok, so I look pretty hot." I said to Edward as I twisted in front of my mirror. I was wearing a new strapless green dress that fell mid-thigh.

"You always look pretty hot." Edward's eyes dropped to my boobs, which, with the dress, were pushed up practically under my chin. Ok, exaggeration, I'm not that ample, but it did wonders for my non-existent cleavage.

"I'm thinking heels." I twirled.

"You sure? I don't want you to break anything."

"You'll catch me." And besides, they'd make my legs look better.

And then we were in the car. I'd booked for three people, Lauren didn't know I was coming. A shock to her.

We got there early, but we were seated.

Then the nerves hit.

"Can I get you two drinks?" The waiter asked.

Edward shook his head, "No, we'll just stick with water."

Which I did. Edward had one glass of the complimentary water while I almost drained the bottle. The water was replaced by the waiter.

I grabbed the bottle and poured another glass. "Bella, maybe you shouldn't drink so much." Edward warned.

I took a sip. "She's late." 5 whole minutes.

"We can leave."

"No." I squirmed, "I have to pee." Edward shot me an 'I told you so' look.

"Well, she's here now."

Shit.

"I'll pee later then." I saw her walk in. While my dress showed cleavage in a classy way hers didn't. She was practically wearing a bath towel, one of those super short hotel ones, not the normal ones. Her bra was visible over the top of her dress, which was almost like circles covering her nipples.

I took a sip of my water. Crap, I still need to pee. I stood and so did Edward. Lauren saw Edward and started to approach. Then she saw me. She stalled and started, but kept walking with her shoulders back, breasts out and head high. *Cough*hoe*Cough*.

"Edward!" She shrieked and then hugged him. Edward's arms remained at his side. "Oh my God I missed you."

"Lauren, this is my girlfriend Bella." Girlfriend, ha-ha, take that.

"Lauren, it is so nice to meet you." He held out my hand which she crinkled her nose at but took briefly.

"Hello." We sat down at the table and the waiter came for drink orders. Edward and I stuck with water, which Lauren scrunched her nose at but ordered a Screaming O. Subtle, isn't she?

Her drink came and she moaned, "Have you ever had one, a screaming orgasm?" She asked me.

I found Edward's hand and put our hands on the table top. "Yes, Edward and I have share that _drink_ quite often." She walked into that one.

"Oh, so did Edward and I." I might've tightened my grip on Edward's hand.

Edward laughed, "Yes, but they make the drink better in Seattle." Oh, point one to Bella. I relaxed my grip and quickly looked at Edward. I smiled a thank you and he smirked back.

Lauren pulled a strained smile. "I've just got to make a call." She rose from the table and did that walk I'd seen at school.

"I love you." I told Edward. "Nice save at the end. She had to leave the table because she didn't have a comeback." I almost did a fist pump.

Edward laughed, "It was no save, love. I only speak the truth." I kissed him and the lean pressed my bladder.

"I've still got to pee."

"Now?" I nodded, "be quick, I don't want to be alone with her." I left the table and used the bathroom. I left and heard Lauren's voice.

"Urgh, he's got some girl here. Says she's his _girlfriend_..." she laughed, "no, she's not as good looking as me, please, no one is." My self-conscious dropped slightly, but increased with the end comment. That girl has no modesty. "Oh, don't worry, I'll get him back, some how... Geez, I don't know, invent a kid?" Seriously? She is more stupid than she looks, if that's possible. "... It worked on Glee... then what do you suggest... maybe... anyway I should go."

Oh shit. I ran as quickly as I could back to the table. Thank God Rose and Alice had worked with me today to make sure the next time I stepped out in heels I didn't break something. They didn't prepare me for running, but thankfully I made it back hazard free. Ok, puffing heavily, small sweat between the brow and heart pumping full of adrenalin, but I made it back.

"Bella, what the hell?" Edward asked as I tried to fan myself with the napkin.

"Ok, she's not pregnant, she wants you and here she comes." I rushed out. Hopefully Edward understood me.

"What?" I didn't know if that was towards what I'd said or how I'd said it.

"She's trying to pull a Glee stunt, just follow my lead." Edward shot me the crazy eyes but didn't ask another question.

"Sorry about that," her voice cut at my ear drums, "babe." She looked directly at Edward when she said that. I glared her down with my eyes. Edward took my hand. "It was my mother, she's very sick." Oh, so she's pulling the pity card now.

"That's unfortunate, what's she ill with?" I asked politely, well as polite as one could be.

Lauren hesitated, "uh, just the flu. You know old people as sickness and shit." She waved her hand in the air before placing it right in front of Edward's on the table. He reached for his water glass, took a sip then placed his hand in his lap. I squeezed the hand I was holding.

"So, Lauren," I cringed, "tell _us_, what are you doing in Seattle?"

I saw her brain tick over, "I'm going back to school." The look on her face looked like she wanted to lie to me but tell the truth to Edward. I had a feeling if I wasn't here then Edward would get some pity inducing tale made for him to try to get him back with her. "I'm trying to boost my High School marks so I can get into a decent College."

She still was pretending that I wasn't there. "Oh, so you're not _dancing_ anymore?" Edward still hadn't said much, but I knew he didn't want out conversation to head down this road.

"No, I don't _dance_ anymore." She looked at me this time.

"That's a shame." I mumbled.

"Bella." Edward's voice warned me.

"Yeah, it is a shame. I remember _your_ Edward watching me dance a time or two." She was just trying to break me down now.

We were in the middle of a glare off when Edward hissed, "Just stop it! Enough with all this polite bullshit. Lauren, why are you here?"

I was surprised at pissed Edward and Lauren was a little shocked as well. Edward squeezed my hand as he stared down at Lauren. It was kind of hot to watch him take his own.

Lauren's eyes flicked quickly to mine. She pouted and rested her elbows on the table, which caused her chest to press together. "Geez Edward, don't you miss me at all?" She battered her eyelashes.

"No. Not at all." His teeth were clenched. I squeezed his hand and his jaw relaxed.

"Are you kidding me? You must be kidding." She is losing her calm facade. "You'd rather _her?_" She paused and shuffled in her seat. She regained her calm. "Well, then I hope you two are really, really happy together."

"Thank you." I could hear the sarcasm in my voice but I wondered if she could.

Edward jumped a foot in the air and looked at me. I questioned him with my eyes. All his gave me in response was a queasy look.

"Are you ok?" I asked him softly.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to visit the bathroom." He stood from the table and left. I debated whether or not to follow him. I didn't as he rushed through the restaurant to the restrooms. I turned back to look at Lauren.

Then there were two.

Lauren and me.

Well. Shit.

I watched Edward disappear out of sight.

"Ok, listen here honey." Excuse me? "Can you just keep your hands off of Eddie."

"Eddie? Do you really think he likes that?" I knew for a fact that he doesn't. Stupid...

She rolled her eyes, "I don't care. I need him back."

"_Need_ him? He's not a possession." She rolled her eyes and huffed her huff.

"Do really think you're good enough to be with Edward. Can your flat hair, pale skin and non-existent chest really keep him satisfied?"

"Yes, yes I really do, because all that bullshit you just spewed about my appearance was a load of crock and because Edward's not as shallow as you." I was congratulating myself.

Lauren leaned across the table and poked me in the chest with her fake, manicured fingernail. "Listen here Mary Sue," Oh, now she was just losing it. "I don't care about all that. Edward is a man. Edward was my boyfriend first and I will get my way and make him my last you just keep your goody two shoe mouth shut. Do you hear me?"

"No you listen here," I poked her in the chest, missed it and poked her in the boob. She didn't even flinch. The silicon in her chest would probably stop a knife to the heart, if she has one.

Oh hell, her boobs probably would just pop anyway.

"Edward is my boyfriend _now_ and he would never want to be with you again. Firstly because you are a whore, a real one not just a slut, a fully fledged 'can I give you a _hand_' pros-ti-tute," I spelt the last word out very clearly and watched as her face became mighty angry.

"Why you little" she lunged across the table for me, knocking wine glasses over with the mountains on her chest. My chair overbalanced as she pushed on my shoulders and scrambled across the table after me. She was on me before I had a chance to move out of my chair.

I was grabbing at my head. I screamed at her, "Get off me!" I reached up for her hair and pulled it in hope that it would hurt her enough so she would stop pulling mine.

"Ow, ow!" She screeched. She tugged harder on mine. _Ow!_ I kicked my legs and got one under her and on her stomach. I pushed, the stiletto hurting her, hopefully. She stumbled back onto her ass. I started to sit up to attack her but hands found my underarms and swept me to my feet.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist tightly after I made an attempt to go after Lauren again.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing? I'm just about to fight the hooker!"

He sighed and regretfully said, "Bella, you can't just fight someone, even if they're a street worker." I felt a bubble of laughter grow until I couldn't fight it anymore. I laughed and slumped in Edward's arms so that I was almost touching my toes. I regained some form of composure and stood up. Edward hesitantly released me and I turned so I was looking at her and Edward.

Calmly I said, "You're right Edward. I shouldn't fight humans." Her eyes narrowed dangerously and I smiled wider. "But, you see, funny thing is, I _can_ fight her because_..._" He wrapped his arms around me before I could take off after her again.

"Let me go Edward!"

"Eddie, she's right, don't let this come between us. We're perfect for each other!"

He laughed dryly and smiled at her. "No, we're not." I hoped he would let me go, but he didn't.

I smiled at Lauren. "Ha-ha, that's right, sucker! And for the record, I would rather be pale than look like I've rolled in a pile of Doritos and," Edward tugged on my arm trying to stop me, "and my hair has more volume than your street corner screaming orgasm voice you," Edward's hand clamped over my mouth as he forcefully lifted me off the ground.

"No, no. She cannot win this easily. I nearly had her, Edward!"

Then she threw a plate.

Full of food.

And because we hadn't ordered anything some random lost their dinner to Lauren's tantrum. It hit Edward in the back. Edward, being the classy man he is, ignored it.

We were about to leave when it sounds. Edward halts. I look up. When I was a kid this sounds was exciting, now it was terrifying.

* * *

**_A/N I'm thinking I might tease you for reviews._**

**_Also thinking that this story might come to a close soon. I know how it's going to end, but is there anything you'd like to see?_**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

I still remember my first time. It was an overcast day outside the car window. The red lights reflected off the green, mossy trees while the blue ones disappeared. Charlie watched me through his rear view mirror. I was six and late for my first day of school. Charlie was just over the speed limit but being Forks the roads were practically deserted anyway. The siren was on too.

"Why are the cars moving aside?" I asked Charlie as the few cars on the road cleared the way. I was _really_ late for school.

"Bells," he looked at me in the mirror, "no one ever fights the lights." Charlie smiled.

Charlie didn't like to put the siren and the lights on often, but when I had friends over he would always give it a short blast to impress them, that was around the age of ten.

As I got older I got more embarrassed about riding around in the cop car. It was a running gag that I'd just escaped from Forks' jail. Because of that joke Charlie took me to the cells. I was fourteen and there was one resident. He was in there for drunk driving. He reeked of alcohol. The Charlie told me that the only toilet didn't work. I never ever wanted to visit a jail cell after that.

When I was seventeen I watched Tyler Crowley get chased down by a police car. He was unlucky and drove through a red light. He was also a little tipsy so he didn't pull over straight away. He drove down our street and I watched as the lights danced off the trees and the sirens brought people out of their houses. We had just broken up, and while I wasn't angry about it I loved the little bit of justice that the universe was giving me.

I remember the siren went off when Tyler finally pulled over and got out of his car sobbing apologies to my father. The lights stayed on and I remember that nothing could ever be better than the colour of those lights.

Charlie came home that night and told me that if I ever ended up in a similar situation as the Crowley kid I'd get _it_.

Charlie never explained to me what _it _was.

I really wish he had because now I wanted to know what I should have feared more. _It _or the two policemen that were walking towards Edward and I.

I never thought my first instincts when placed in this situation would be fight or flight. I always thought I would lay down and let them lead me into the back seat of the car.

But now as I face the fact I am about to become a jail rat all I can think is flight. Run, Bella, run. My legs are twitching because they know that this is not a good situation just as much as head does.

But I just let Edward put me down on the ground and hold my hand. While I wanted to run with my life I knew I shouldn't fight it.

_No one ever fights the lights._

"Well, shit." I heard Edward whisper in my ear.

_Well shit indeed._

I saw Lauren try to scramble up off the floor and out of sight.

"Not so fast, ma'am." I accidently let out a snort. I would think that Lauren hasn't ever been called _ma'am_ in her life. Especially with the sour face she displayed right now. The older officer eyes me down and I resume my face of deep shock, embarrassment and remorse. "We had a call about a public disturbance between two females in this restaurant this evening."

"That might have been us." I whispered. Edward gives me an incredulous look. The younger police officer looks at me funnily. He leans forward. Edward sees it and tries to move me behind him.

"It was all _her _fault!" Lauren protested and points at me.

"My fault!"

"Yes, that little bitch..."

"Alright, no need for profanity." The older officer takes a step forward and Lauren's eyes turn wild. The officer holds up his hands in a sign of peace and Lauren's left eyes starts to twitch. The officer takes a step between us and her leg starts to bounce.

The she tries to run. The officer catches her before she makes two steps. He clips some handcuffs on her.

"Miss we're going down to the station." He said to Lauren. He jerks his head in the other officer's direction. "Grab the other one."

The officer looks at me again and then takes a step forward. I am still hiding behind Edward. Where he should've escorted me out of the building he stops and ponders.

"Isabella?" He asked. I push Edward to the side slightly and lean forward.

_Oh shit..._

"It's me! Tyler." He grinned greedily. I look at him. It is indeed Tyler, except a blown up version.

"Oh, wow." I push Edward back so that he is covering me a little more. "I almost didn't recognise you."

He chuckled. "I almost didn't recognise you either, I mean wow, look at you. Got tits now and everything!" Edward growled and pushes me behind him. "Unfortunately though, I've gotta take you in." He rambled. He grabs my wrist and almost holds my hand and starts to walk away, still rambling.

I latch onto Edward. I knew he wasn't going anywhere, especially after the comment Tyler made, but it made me feel better to have his warm hand in mine.

Tyler was still rambling though. "I'm really sorry about this... I can't believe that the Chief's daughter is getting arrested... Sorry, but boss' orders and such... Chief Swann arresting me led me into the police force... Wow Isabella, you look great..."

He always called me Isabella for some reason. Ass. I wrapped my free arm around my chest. I didn't think I was too bad in high school. Ass.

We were led out of the front of the restaurant and to an awaiting cop car. Lauren was being forced into the back seat.

"I'm sorry Isabella," I'm sure he's only sorry because he's still feeling the feelings from his encounter with Charlie. He smiled apologetically, "Can you get in on your own or do I have to manhandle you?" His eyebrows wiggle in an unattractive way.

"I'm fine." I get in the car. Lauren is pouting in her corner. "Can my boyfriend come?" I asked Tyler. His face is a little crestfallen but he covers it quickly with the face which I assume he usually uses with the disobedient members of society.

"He can't, I'm afraid."

"Bella, I'll meet you at the station." Edward smiled.

"Sure." I smiled back and relax into the grimy leather police car seats.

_Well this will be a story for the family Christmas letter._

We took off in relative silence. I could hear murmuring from the loony to my left. After a while I just got plain sick of it. "Care to share?" I spat at her.

She glared at me. "This is all your fault."

"Please, I am not going to have this conversation with you."

"If I become somebody's bitch you're going to pay." She glared at me.

"Really, that's what you're worried about? You should be used to that, shouldn't you?"

"Why you little-" She made to lunge at me and strangle me but she forgot one little detail. Her hands were cuffed behind her back, restricting her. "Why didn't they cuff you!"

"Because these wrists are too good for cuffs."

"Obviously, that's probably why you're so high strung. Haven't ever had good sex. I bet Edward won't even..." I stomped down on her foot, hard, with the heel of my shoe. Bad day to wear open toed stilettos for Lauren. "OW! Fucking Bit-"

"Enough!" The older policeman called. I stuck my tongue out at Lauren who huffed. We rode the rest of the way to the station in complete silence, even Lauren remained from huffing.

We got to the station and were escorted out. "I think you two just need to spend a night in the cell."

My jaw dropped but Laurens blabbered out, "What the hell for!"

"Disturbance of the peace, disorderly conduct and maybe a little indecent exposure," he looked at Lauren and her bath towel dress, "We'll see how I feel in the morning." He got Lauren's fingerprints and then handed her over to Tyler, who led her off to a cell. He took my fingerprints and then led me down the corridor.

Forks police station has two cells. This one had a few more and a couple of occupants as well. Nerves started to get to me a little now. We approached Lauren and Tyler.

"Oh come on, I know you'll like it." Lauren had pushed her body against the bars and was leaning into Tyler. He was gobsmacked. Idiot.

"Crowley, my office." Tyler sulked away and I was put in the cell with Lauren.

Well shit.

There was one bench so I sat on it. Lauren walked around the confines of the cell looking for somewhere else to sit. There was the toilet. She sat next to me. I was considering moving to the toilet.

She huffed.

"Why do you do that?" I asked her.

"What?" She sneered. I demonstrated with a huff of my own.

"The _huff_?"

"Why, does it bother you?" She smiled. She huffed.

"Yes it does."

"Alright then." She did it again.

"You're doing it again."

"I know."

"Will you just stop it. Lord knows I don't want you to hyperventilate. If I'm stuck in here because of your mistakes you've got to be in here too!"

"_My_ mistakes?" She looked shocked.

"Yep."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes."

"Are you messed up in the head?

"Are you?"

"You bitch!"

"Screech all you want. I'm sure everyone else wants to hear it too." She looked nervous, like she was imagining herself becoming another's 'bitch'. "It's all your fault you know!" I crossed my arms in a stubborn manor.

"Seriously, we're going in circles." I looked at her in shock. She actually sounded mature. "If you'd just let go of Edward then we'd be fine." She should've kept her mouth shut.

"Me!" I was outraged. "I could say the same thing. If you'd given him to me, like a _normal_ person then I'd just leave your ass alone."

"Did you just compare me to a normal person?"

"Well I'm certain I'm not trying to steal someone's boyfriend!"

"Please, you stomped on my toe!"

We sat in welcomed silence. I didn't respond to her comment. I took a deep breath. I need to be the bigger person. Maybe even the adult.

I turned to her and broke the silence, "Do you need money?"

"No, why would I need money?"

"Well, you said you weren't dancing anymore..."

"I have plenty of money from that."

I leaned back against the bars of the cell and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Then tell me. I know Edward is attractive and an extremely sweet guy, but why do you want him back?"

"Are we going to sit here in a jail cell and have a deep and meaningful?" She asked. She didn't sneer it and she wasn't sarcastic. She also most definitely did not huff.

I regarded her, "Sure."

"Well, I really am going back to school so I can get into college."

"And you've really stopped dancing."

"Yes."

"What are you doing for an income."

"Nothing. That was why I needed Edward."

"Edward has no money."

She rolled her eyes, "he's a Cullen."

"A Cullen who doesn't take his family's money. Wait, I thought you said this wasn't about money?"

"Maybe it is, a little bit." She huffed and shuffled in her spot. "I need Edward so my father will give me the money that I am rightly owed."

Well, this explains it all. She has daddy issues. "But I don't see what Edward has to do with that."

"My father only respected me when I was with Edward. And besides, he is insanely hot, what girl wouldn't want that piece of arm candy."

And the superficial witch returns. I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, will you keep it in your pants? If Edward and I help you with your education will you keep your distance from Edward and me and never ever hit on him again."

"But..."

"Never ever, or else..." I smiled wickedly, "my father's a cop. He could bust your ass for all your years of dancing." I glanced ahead of me at the tattooed woman in the cell. "She could be your best friend." I nodded off in her direction. Lauren looked to where the woman just kicked an old guy off the small bench so she could have a seat.

Lauren swallowed.

"Bella!" I looked up to see Edward. I got up and went to him. "Are you alright?" He eyed Lauren nervously.

"Yes, we're all good." I looked at Lauren and smiled at her. She nodded and remained huff free. I looked back at Edward. I could tell he was confused. "I'll tell you later."

He leaned his face between the bars and I kissed him. His hand moved to my cheek. It was sticky. I pulled back.

"Blood! Edward." My eyes frantically connected with his.

"It's all good." I frowned at him, "Later." I narrowed my eyes at him. "I paid your bail."

"Oh." Another officer came around a few seconds later.

"Swan, you made bail." He looked down at the file he was holding, "I must ask, would you like to press charges against Miss Mallory?"

"No, we're good." Edward looked at me shocked. "What?" I shrugged, "Shit went down." The officer unlocked the cell. Before I left I glared at Lauren, "remember our deal."

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious about what I said." I looked at the woman in the other cell. Lauren's eyes followed and she swallowed. "Oh, and talk to Officer Crowley, he's really like you." I winked.

"Bye." And from Lauren that was like a huge ass thank you.

We walked out of the police station and I breathed in deep. "I'm a free woman."

The ringing of my phone cut off whatever Edward was going to say. I fished it out of the plastic bag it was in when they took it and answered it.

"Hel-"

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

_Caller ID, caller ID, caller ID._

_ALWAYS check caller ID._

So, I didn't check caller ID. "I was accepting that you had a boyfriend. I was ok with the fact that you hadn't introduced him to me. I even swallowed the fact that he has sleepovers at your place," _but how,_ "your mother told me." _Well thank you Renee._ "But I cannot tolerate the fact that you were in jail this evening! This boy is not good for you Isabella. Jail?"

"Dad, cool your roll."

_Oh, wrong thing to say..._

"Bella, he's a bad influence. I want you to break up with him. You're a good girl. Jail! I can't believe you spent to night in jail!"

"Dad, it's not Edward's fault. I got into a... disagreement with someone... it was not Edward's fault. He tried to stop me, but believe me, she deserved it." There was a long pause so I added, "He's important to me dad." Charlie sighed. I could picture him rubbing his hand over his forehead.

"Can I meet him Bells?"

"Will you be friendly?"

"I'll keep an open mind." He said instead of accepting. I knew that would be as close as I could get to a yes so I took it.

...

The week before school started I took Edward to meet Charlie. I was nervous. Edward was surprisingly calm. Maybe it was the relaxing month we'd just had. After the Lauren fiasco everything had calmed down significantly. Well, sort of. Lauren managed to get a job at Wal-Mart, while she never flirted with Edward in front of me Edward tells me that she still does when I'm not there.

He's a bit of a whinger about it so I'm not worried.

I'm still pissed at Lauren. Especially when I found out that she had given Edward a picture of herself naked when we were at dinner. That's why he left the table. He said he went to throw up, but he couldn't, so he punched a wall, hence the blood on his hand when he came to bail me out of jail.

I'd learnt that Lauren was trying to sink her teeth into Tyler. That lifted a weight off of Edward's shoulders and made me laugh. They actually might just be perfect for each other.

So we had just been relaxing and enjoying the summer holidays like normal college students. Until now... where Edward was to face his death. I'd tried reminding him that my father was licensed to carry a gun and most likely would be cleaning it when we arrived just to put up a show and that if he chose to he could shoot him and pretend like it was an accident.

Edward remained unfazed.

What an idiot.

"He loves fishing." I said.

"I know Bella." Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just... don't want you to die."

Edward laughed, "He won't kill me."

"Maybe not, but he might maim you. And I like you fully intact."

"I'm pretty sure he won't injure me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," I muttered. "Well," I said brightly. I ignored my shaking hand and continued, "We'll find out soon enough. Turn left." I pointed and led Edward straight to the house of doom... or my childhood home.

He pulled into the driveway and turned the engine off. He opened his door and got out. He came around to mine and opened my door. I didn't get out.

"Bella, are you getting out?" Edward asked me.

"No, I don't think I will." If we didn't go into the house there was every possibility that Edward would live to see me old and wrinkly.

Edward's eyes twinkled. "Ok." He closed the door got our overnight bags out of the boot and started up the three steps to the front door.

_What is he doing?_

He must be suicidal. "Edward!" He heard my muffled call and smiled before pressing the doorbell.

_Oh shit._

I flung open the car door and tried to get out. The stupid seatbelt stopped me. I undid that and got out just as I saw Charlie open the front door. I ran towards the two men, I tripped up the second step, banged my knee on the third and was caught by Edward's arms before I could kiss the patio.

I was puffing as Edward pulled me to my feet. I stood awkwardly on one leg while I rubbed my knee.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked while he smirked. Charlie laughed.

"Bells, you're still clumsy I see."

I blushed and frowned, "Yeah, thanks dad. Nice to see you too."

"Oh, you're alright, no blood, no foul." Charlie chuckled.

"No blood doesn't mean no bruise." I mumbled. "Can we go inside?" I asked my father, "Maybe I can use a sack of corn as an icepack."

"How about peas, Bells?" Charlie smiled, "You know I don't like corn..."

"Please don't!" I moaned as I limped inside holding Edward's hand. I knew Charlie was going to make some comment about corn going in looking one way and coming out looking the same.

I got the bag of peas out of the freezer and sat down at the kitchen table to watch it unfold.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen, the boyfriend. Edward this is Chief Charles Swan, the father and holder of the gun." I waved between the two and they looked at me like I'd grown a second head. I shifted the bag of peas, "don't judge, I fell _up_ the stairs!"

Edward held out his hand and shook my father's. "Chief."

The shook briefly, "Call me Charlie, son."

What the hell.

"Dad I thought you wanted to kill Edward!" I blurted out. Edward looked at me and rolled his eyes. Did I just remind my father of what he had forgotten?

"Bella, you can't just kill people." Kill, decapitate, mutilate, what difference?

"Bella, I've spoken to your father. We're good." Charlie nodded in agreement.

"What."

"Edward spoke to me about your arrest and his ex and other stuff." I was gobsmacked. My mouth was almost resting in my crotch. _That would be a party trick._ I was still confused though. "I don't understand."

"Bells, you spent a lot of time refusing to get out of the car." Charlie laughed.

"But... What... Talk... No... I ran!" I removed the peas from my knee to see the evidence of my running. A bruise was starting to form.

"Bella, do you want to lie down sweetie?" Charlie laughed, his voice laced with absolutely no sympathy, only humour.

"Uh, nah, I'm good." The atmosphere was awkward and it was because of me. I'm fairly sure that Charlie and Edward alone in the kitchen would rid the kitchen of the atmosphere that it currently faced. "On second thought. I might just go up to my room." I tucked the back of peas under my arm and hobbled to the staircase.

"I'll get your bags." Edward said and followed me towards the staircase with the duffel bag I had. Charlie picked up Edward's small bag and followed the two of us. He didn't even pull a face when Edward put his hand on my lower back to steady me. I needed to find out what happened in my absence.

I started to climb the stairs with Edward and my father following. A hand was still on the small of my back and a face still remained not purple.

"Hey dad, where's Edward sleeping?" I asked, surely he wouldn't be sleeping in my room.

"Uh, your room B, is that alright?" Charlie said.

I slipped on the stair I was standing on when Charlie said those words and banged my right knee.

"Ow!"

"Shit." Edward laughed. "Are you alright." I nodded, still a bit out of it.

Charlie laughed, "God Bells, what's Edward going to do with you?"

* * *

**_A/N Hey, mkay, this is the second last chap I've decided. Coming Soon is the last chapter and I'm thinking somewhere in the future there will be an EPOV epi. It's just what I'm thinking._**

**_So review for the third last time and get a teaser._**

**_Thanks :)_**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"I can't believe you did it in jail!"

"My God, it's just... just... so yucky!"

"And there are bars."

"Bella, are you not wearing a bra?"

"It's jail!"

"Well it was kind of a spur of the moment thing."

"Yeah it's not like one plans to do it in jail."

"It just kind of... happened."

"Wait, so why'd you get thrown in jail in the first place?"

Everyone looks at us.

I shrug. "Edward was speeding."

"He was speeding?" Emmett asks, eyebrows arched.

"Yes." I reply.

"Oh really." It is possible for his brows to arch higher.

"Uh, yes, really."

"Just speeding?"

"Just speeding." I confirm.

"Hmm." Emmett taps his chin like he is deep in thought.

"What?" I cross my arms, frustrated.

"Nothing." His 'I'm innocent' look doesn't fool me.

Or anyone else. "Emmett." Rosalie demands.

"So it was just speeding?" Emmett asks again.

"Yes, he was going really fast."

"Was he?"

"Yes."

"Were you making a sandwich?"

"What, why the hell would I... No." I shake my head.

"Are you sure? You weren't rolling the salami at the same time?"

"God Emmett, no." Edward shakes his head in disgust. I look at Edward. I don't get it. Edward looks at me pointedly.

"Come on Bella, you know, _salami_..." Emmett says and I look at Edward and cringe.

"Oh, God no!"

Emmett laughs, "Ouch brother, did you see that reaction?"

Rosalie smacks Emmett on the back of the head.

"Ouch Rosie, it was a legit question."

"Actually, I think the more legit question is why did you tell us?" Rose asks.

"Yeah, couldn't you have just pretended like it never happened?" Alice squirms.

Jasper reasons, "Actually, I think the more relevant question is, how all this went down?"

...

"Alright kids, see you later, have a safe trip." Charlie called as we stepped out of the house.

Edward shook Charlie's hand, "Thanks again sir." Charlie waved his hand, as if he was swatting flies, at the mention of sir. The two of them had become close? They definitely weren't on edge with each other like I thought they would be and definitely no gun pulling.

I crossed my arms and watched them. "Alright, let's go." I mumbled.

Charlie chuckled at my attitude. Edward rolled his eyes. I could see the faint lines of tiredness under his eyes. No one else would notice it, but I could see that he hadn't slept well.

I hadn't slept well either and I think that's why I was progressively becoming more on edge with Charlie's accepting relationship with Edward.

I mumbled about leaving. "Tired Bella?" Edward queried looking me in the eyes.

So it might have been my fault we were a little less restful than we normally are.

Charlie raised an eyebrow at me. God I hope he's not thinking about Edward and I having sex under his roof.

"Dad, we didn't have sex!"

Charlie's eyes bulged out and he choked on his breath a little. "Geez Bells. That was the last thing I was thinking."

_Right... awkward?_

Edward laughed, "Yes, but that's what Bella thought so she spent the whole night wondering if you were going to bust into the room."

He's right. I was two steps away from putting a mirror under the door so I could see down the hallway. Problem was that the mirror was too thick to force under the door. Edward had asked me to just go to sleep, saying that if Charlie did want to bust us doing the dirty he wouldn't anyway because I had kept him awake two nights in a row and he was probably too tired to get it up.

Which I know is a lie, Edward could raise that flag if I wanted him to even if we were in the middle of a tornado.

But still I didn't sleep. I wanted to catch my dad trying to catch us so I could make him feel like the bad guy.

_Maybe I am just a little insane?_

"Just?" Edward asked. Oh, said that out loud.

"Time to go?"

We made it into the car and out of the driveway without another incident.

The drive home would be about three hours so Edward decided to fill up his car. It was a guzzler, that little box on wheels. I wandered into the store. I was feeling a bit peckish. I didn't know what I wanted until I saw it.

"Bella, no." Edward said.

"No, what?" I was still eyeing down the slurpee machine and I broke my gaze to look up at Edward's frowning face.

"Don't buy a slurpee."

"But I really want one." Who would ever turn down the chance to gulp down a slurpee? I most certainly was not one that would.

"You and I both know that you'll have to pee and there are no rest stops after here."

I eyed the red and blue slush. Did I really want one? I shuffled from foot to foot in thought while Edward moved forward to pay for his fuel. Yes! I wanted one.

"Add a slurpee, please." I smiled. Edward sighed. "I promise I won't have to pee."

"Ok, but if you do then I'm not stopping." Edward smiled.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he followed suit and poked his out back.

...

I squirmed in my seat, testing my limit.

_Oh God._

There is not much of a limit. Repeat. No limit.

_Dammit, Edward was right._

"Uh, Edward?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes." He popped a curious eyebrow at my tone.

Maybe I just shouldn't tell him? Save myself from the _I told you so_. I shifted again. I inhaled deeply. I readjusted myself so I was sitting on my feet with my thighs squeezed tightly together.

_Must not pee oneself!_

That was my motto today. My shifting had caused a few dust particles to fly. Not that you could see them, but my nose could feel them. My nose started to tingle.

That would not be good for my bladder.

I pinched my nose together and told Edward in a nasally voice, "I need to pee."

"Bella." He sighed.

"What?"

"What did I tell you?"

_Bella, if you get a slurpee you'll have to go to the toilet..._

Can't let him win here.

"Yes Bella, get the slurpee."

"No, I'm pretty sure it was the opposite of that."

"Pretty sure not."

"No I'm pretty sure I did."

"Edward this fight is straining my bladder."

"This isn't a fight and words can't strain your bladder."

"Edward."

"What?"

"Can we stop?"

"Can you hold it an hour?"

"SLURPEE!"

"You'll have to pee in the forest."

"Why?"

"Because all potential stops are an hour away."

"Who would do that?"

"I told you not to drink a slurpee for this particular reason."

"But it was so worth it."

"You'd rather pee in the woods than not drink a slurpee."

"Yes."

"Ok."

He pulled off the highway and then onto a dirt road, I didn't even see it from the road, which is probably why he picked this part. Edward didn't want anyone to see me peeing in the bush. I loved my boy.

He pulled into park and I dashed from the car.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Remember leaves of three let it be."

"Leaves of four eat some more."

I dashed into the woods. I could hear Edward's footfalls behind me, following me, but not. I found a hidden section and dropped trow and then performed the all graceful squat. It always amazes me the amount of urine that comes out of me when I drink a slurpee.

I finished up eventually and took a squat step back to move away from my pee puddle. I hit some unsteady ground behind me with my right foot. I slammed my left down to try and steady myself, unfortunately though, I slammed it down in my puddle. And sadly I was wearing sandals. I cringed as the warm liquid assaulted my toes and started shaking my leg like a dog trying to get it off. Of course I was still crouched at this stage and on uneven ground.

The ground slipped away from me and I tumbled backwards down a mini hill. Toes covered in pee and pants around my ankle, brilliant.

"Ah!" I squealed a bit as I toppled ass over tits down the mini cliff. Alright, it wasn't that big, but it is when you're covered in your own piss and your cooch is hanging out for all to see it's huge.

"Bella!" I heard Edward call and then heard his footsteps as he navigated down the hill and through the forest I'd just rolled through. I came out through the thick scrub into a field full of purple and white flowers.

"Wow." I looked at the meadow. It was pretty dang beautiful.

"Bella!" Edward's voice broke my trance.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I asked him and he bent double and laughed at me.

"Don't, don't move, love, I've gotta go back and get my camera." He laughed. I knew we didn't bring a camera with us so I put my hands on my hips to show I was unimpressed with his laughter. I didn't even know why he was laughing...

My fingers felt my naked skin at my hip. My naked, pants-less hips. "Shit!" I tried to pull up my shorts. I was kneeling on the ground which was making it difficult. I fell backwards on my naked butt and back and put my legs in the air. Edward laughed harder. He was on the ground now. My pants fell as gravity took them. Gravity also helps the little drips of pee trail down my leg. I put my feet flat on the ground and pulled my shorts up so everything was covered again.

I sighed and remained lying on the ground. "That was a feat." Edward's giggled quietened.

Edward crawled over to me, short laughs still escaping every now and again. He kissed me on my lips. "God, I love you."

"Edward, I'm Bella, remember?" He chuckled a little more and he and I managed to situate ourselves together so I was lying on top of his chest.

"A pee covered Bella." He corrected. I dragged my left foot through the grass and flowers hoping to get the pee off.

We were silent until I asked, "Edward, do you know the way back to the car?"

"I hope so, but I don't really care right now." He sounded so serene. I breathed him in deep and glanced up. The sun was shining brightly. Rare for this state. The flowers and grass were swaying slightly with the soft breeze that blew through.

"I could stay like this forever." Edward muttered.

"Same. I love you." I closed my eyes.

"Will you marry me?" Edward asked sleepily.

My eyes snapped open and I leaned up on my forearms to look at him. He seemed shocked at his question but content too.

"Do you really mean that?" I asked him. I didn't want to accept a spur of the moment proposal.

He sat up slowly and I leaned back. Edward drew me closer and held my hands while he put his thighs behind me so I could rest on them.

"Yes, I did." He sounded a little surprised still but there was a huge smile on his face. "I love you, Bella. And it's weird you know-"

I cut him off by laughing, "Aw, thanks Edward. I love your weird ass too."

He rolled his eyes and put his hand over my mouth. "Bella, I'm trying to make this spontaneous proposal sound as good as if I'd actually prepared it and your ruining it." I tried to mumble sorry against his hand but he just help it there so I'm pretty sure I just licked his hand.

He wiped his hand on his pants. "Where was I?"

"You called our love weird and then I professed love to your ass." I answered

He chuckled. "I always knew you were an ass girl." I blushed a little, "Our love is weird, Bella. I've never felt this close to anyone in my entire life. You're my best friend first-"

"Oh, Emmett's going to be pissed." Edward looked at me. "Shit, sorry."

"You're always making random comments and they make me love you more. You've supported me through so much and I just love you Bella, so much."

I smiled. "Ask me again."

"Bella, you are the most beautiful woman and I love you, will you marry me?"

I leapt forward and secured my arms around his neck. "Yes, Edward, I will." He fell backward and I was once again on his chest. I kissed him. "I love you too, so much."

He hands rested on my hips while his tongue danced with mine. He pulled me closer for a few moments before he started to push me away and break the contact his lips had with mine.

We parted and I rolled onto the grass beside him and breathed in deep. Edward shifted and reached round to pull his wallet out the back pocket of his shorts.

"My mom gave this to me when we visited them last." It had been a couple of weeks after the Lauren incident. I had thought nothing of it when Carlisle entertained me for a good fifteen minutes while Esme and Edward were off doing something. "I didn't know what to do with it at first." He opened his wallet and pulled out a little drawstring bag. "The box was broken, so my mom put it in here. I stuffed it in my wallet and forgot about it."

I was tingling in anticipation as he pulled the two sides apart and opened the bag, "I'm glad Esme gave it to me now though." He tipped the bag upside down and a ring fell into the palm of his hand, "It was my grandmother's." He said hesitantly.

"It's beautiful." I gasped. I was in awe.

"Can I put it on you?" Edward asked. I nodded eagerly and he slid the ring onto my finger. He held my fingers as I just stared at our hands and the ring. I looked up to see that he had been staring at me all along.

I leaned up to kiss him. It was slow and passionate and then... really wet. And I was wet all over and Edward's hair was plastered to his forehead. I broke away and looked up.

"It's raining?"

Edward laughed, "We should go back to the car." He said. He grabbed my hand and we ran back to the mini hill. Edward practically pulled me up the entire thing. I watched the ground for my pee puddle, but could not find it. I was soaked through to the bone, so at least I knew all traces of pee on my body would be gone now. We dashed through the trees and made it back to the Volvo. Soaked through and laughing.

Edward shook his head, a bit like a dog, "You're getting water everywhere!" I laughed at him.

"I don't care." He grinned. I wrapped my hand around my hair and squeezed the excess water out of it.

"Bella," Edward said in mock exasperation, "You're getting water everywhere!"

He kissed my hand and held it as we joined back on the main highway.

The rain pounded the windscreen for a while as Edward zipped and sped through traffic. As the rain let up the sun actually found its way through the clouds. It was drizzling but I rolled down the window and rested my arm on the ledge and let my arm soak up the vitamin D.

Edward was totally relaxed and I was calm and happy.

I saw them before it clicked. Then we heard the lights. Edward smile didn't falter as he checked the mirror to see a police car on our tail.

"The cops?" I asked. "Were you speeding?"

"Maybe a little," he shrugged. I had a feeling he was going to try and talk himself out of a ticket.

"Good day officer." Edward smiled politely.

The officer was not happy. His name was Clearwater. "Do you realise how fast you were going?" He grumbled.

"It was no more than 10 over the speed limit." Edward answered flawlessly.

"Ten too fast son." He asked for Edward's licence and registration which Edward produced and then went back to his car.

He returned a short time after, "I'm going to have to give you a ticket son."

Edward sighed, "That's fine."

"Actually, it's going to be a bit more than the usual fine, double to be exact. You were more than 10 over; you were driving in the wet. So you should've reduced your speed." I was surprised. Edward was a bit pissed.

"Officer, don't you think that's a bit ridiculous? The highway is empty and it's not even raining. It's sunny so any water on the roads would've started to dry up."

Ok, he was a bit more than pissed.

"Son, there is no room for argument here." The officer tightened his voice.

"Yeah, well I'm not arguing, I'm just saying that it's stupid." I quickly unbuckled and leaned over Edward.

"We'll just take the ticket." I tried to reason.

"Miss, you should always be restrained while you are in a turned on motor vehicle."

"We're in park." My hand was out the window waiting for the ticket.

"Miss, if you don't move back to your seat, I'll have to issue you with a ticket too."

"Are you serious!" Edward asked. I slinked back into my seat.

"Can I see your license?" He asked me.

"Uh sure." I heard Edward mumble under his breath about me not even driving. The officer through a look at Edward and took my license and stalked back to his car.

Edward exhaled, "He's being a bit unreasonable, don't you think?"

"Yes, but getting frustrated won't help."

Officer Clearwater came back to our car quickly. He handed me back my license and started writing up a couple of tickets, "I see you were in jail recently, Miss Swan."

"Uh, yes."

"That has nothing to do with this ticket." Edward said calmly.

"Are you trying to sass me, boy?"

Edward retracted a bit. "No, not at all."

"Cause that's what it sounds like you're trying to do, sass me."

"No, sir, I'm not-"

"Alright, get out." He ordered.

"What?" Edward asked. I was nervous.

"I said get out." Edward got out and I heard him asked to 'spread them'.

I got out of the car too. Edward was sprawled over the boot of his car as Officer Clearwater patted him down. "Get back in the car, Miss."

I didn't move. I was all too shocked at this point to move.

Handcuffs came out and they were locked onto Edward's hands behind his back. "Where is he going?" I asked. The officer led Edward into the back of the police car. He held down his head and then closed the door.

"You can't take him in! He didn't do anything." I was confused.

"Miss, are you going to be a problem?" The officer asked me.

"Yes, probably, you're taking my boy- my fiancé," I smiled as I said the word for the first time. Granted I never thought it would be to a police officer, but nonetheless... "Cuff me." I ordered. The officer blanched. "I said cuff me, please. Take me in too."

It probably wasn't the most logical response to the situation. Who would bail us out?

I was cuffed and put in the backseat next to Edward.

Edward was shocked to see me sitting next to him. I blushed, my cuffing was voluntary. We were driven back into Forks and then put in a jail cell, together thankfully. I looked at Edward, who was rubbing his wrists. Then I laughed.

I laughed.

Edward pouted.

I laughed harder.

Edward folded his arms over his chest.

I crossed my legs and grabbed my gut.

"Stop, stop, this is too much." I cried. I bounced.

Oh God. I hope I don't wet my pants. Thankfully I had gone earlier.

"Bella." He used his reasoning voice.

I bent double and cackled at him. "It's just too funny." I slammed the seat. Who would've thought we'd end up in jail minutes after we got engaged? I laughed still, "When I go back to school I'm going to tell people I went to jail," I paused so I could laugh, "twice!" I held up two fingers for emphasis.

Edward's lip twitched and soon he too was laughing.

Our laughter was broken up by Officer Clearwater coming back. "Oi, knock it off you two!" We quietened ourselves. "You've got one phone call."

I looked at Edward. I sighed, "I'll take it, I'll ring... Charlie." Edward smirked. We heard the sound of a cell being opened and we both looked out our gate in hope it was ours being opened.

It wasn't.

It was the cell next to us. We both looked over. I laughed while Edward grabbed my head and tucked it into his side so I could laugh as loud as I wanted.

"Reverend Webber, you're free to go." Officer Clearwater said.

"What the hell would a Reverend be doing in a jail cell?" Edward asked me. I shrugged and then was struck by a thought. It was too funny to vocalise for a while so I just choked on my own laughter until I could breathe and speak.

"Wouldn't it be funny if we got married in jail by a Reverend who had just gotten out?" I laughed. Edward laughed too. I stopped first. "Edward do you want to?"

"You're serious." He deadpanned.

"I wasn't at first, but now, yeah, why not?" I looked at him. I looked him and he loved me. We both knew that.

"You don't want a big white wedding..."

"Not right now."

"All our friends..."

"I never really wanted a big wedding."

"What about family..."

"Charlie could come and," I paused. His parents wouldn't be here, and neither would Renee. "Esme, Renee and Alice probably want me to do the big whole white wedding with the attention on me and... I don't really want that. How about we get married now, here, for us," I let out a short giggle, "with a Reverend that's fresh out of the slammer and if we must a white wedding for them later."

"Ok."

"Are you ok with this? We can wait and plan a huge white wedding if you'd like."

He was smiling, big, huge, crooked, "No, let's do it now. I love you and I want to be married by a Reverend that's a jailbird." I kissed him quickly.

I pulled away from Edward and walked over to the bars. "Hey, Reverend, can you marry us?" I asked. He turned. He was all set up in his robes.

He walked to our cell. "If you want, I'm Revered Webber." I shook his hand.

"I'm Bella and this is my fiancé," I smiled hugely again at the word, "Edward."

Edward approached me and took my ring hand and kissed my ring. "Hi fiancée." He smiled. It was the first time he'd said the word too.

"Can I just make our one phone call first?" The Reverend nodded with a perplexed look on his face.

"So, what are you in for?" Edward asked as Officer Clearwater let me out of the cell.

"Uh, just a drunken misdemeanour." I snorted. We were getting married by a hung-over Reverend. Was I crazy to love this scenario? Yes, probably. "Officer Clearwater is a bit of a tight ass." I heard the Reverend say. Officer Clearwater snorted, scaring the shit out of me. I jumped.

"One minute." He gave me some quarters and I popped them in and rung my father.

"Hello?" Charlie answered.

"Hey, Dad, I've only got a minute, so I'll make this quick. Edward proposed, Dad! Then we got arrested my this cop, who according to Reverend Webber is a bit of a tight ass, and now he's going to marry us on the spot. So can you come down and give me away and then bail us out?" I breathed out the question.

I got the dial tone as a response.

I think my father just hung up on me.

"Shit." I walked back to my cell.

"Is Charlie coming?" Asked Edward.

"Don't know. He hung up on me." We waited and then were greeted by the sound of my father's yelling voice.

Strangely it wasn't at us.

"Clearwater, I told you to scare the boy, not get them married!" Charlie yelled at Officer Clearwater and then winked over at Edward and me.

"I'm sorry Chief." He smiled at Charlie.

Charlie shrugged, "Alright, let them out, my daughter is getting married."

The cell door opened and I put my hands on my hips. "Dad, you were trying to scare Edward!"

Charlie shrugged again, "I thought it was better than whipping out my gun. And," He leaned closer to me, "I kind of like the boy, but what kind of father would I be if I didn't try to intimidate him?" I hugged my father. Reverend Webber appeared with a bible. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" Charlie asked.

"Absolutely positive."

"Are you two ready?" Reverend Webber asked.

We both nodded. I took the Cullen crested ring Edward was wearing and he took my engagement ring back.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today by the powers of the Forks Police Department..." Reverend Webber smirked.

Reverend blessed us and then it was time for the vows.

"Can I go first?" I butted in. Reverend Webber nodded. "Ok," I breathed out and calmed myself. "I never thought I'd marry the man I said _I am not a nymphomaniac_ to," I saw Charlie's eyebrows twitch. Edward smirked, "but here I am, marrying him. Edward Cullen, I love you with every part of my being. I will be there for you to love and to cherish, for better and for worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer and every time you are thrown in jail I will bail you out."

I moved his ring back onto his finger, this time his ring finger.

"My turn?" Edward asked and the reverend nodded, "Bella, I love you too. Words cannot express how much you mean to me. You are my other half, the girl I have already bailed out of jail and would go back for time and time again. To love and to cherish, for better and for worse in sickness and health and for richer or poorer I take you, my best friend, my lover, you, Isabella Swan."

He slid the ring back onto my finger.

"I now pronounce you both husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Then Edward kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as we pulled apart. "Hey, husband." I grinned.

"Hey, wife." He smiled back.

We swayed for a little while.

"How about you kids come back for some cake." Charlie's voice croaked. He didn't look like it but I think he was on the verge of tears.

We thanked Reverend Webber and followed Charlie back to the house.

We ate store bought cake and drank beer.

"Edward, I need you." I whispered in his ear sometime later. I had watched Edward, my husband, all afternoon and I wanted him. Very much, as a wife would. We thanked Charlie and stepped out into the Forks rainy weather.

"Where do you want to go?" Edward asked.

I looked out the window. "I would've suggested the meadow, but..."

Edward veered off the main highway down a similar road. "Edward, I can't, oh hell, yes I can." We made our way out of the car and through the woods. It was slipperier but under the trees you could hardly feel the water fall.

We came into the view of the meadow before Edward started stripping me off. He peeled my wet t-shirt from my body and I pushed down my shorts while he undid his. Commando as always he was and I helped him peel off his shirt. He pressed my back into a tree.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Love you too." I puffed, "help me get these off." I moved his hand down to the elastic of my undies and he stripped them off my body and the unclipped my bra and threw it somewhere.

His mouth found my nipple. His tongue licked and flicked. My head fell back against a tree trunk. I could hear the rain change and start to grow heavier.

"Mm, you taste so good." Edward groaned and he said hello to my other nipple. Water fell over us quicker and the water droplets on Edward's shoulders were just begging to be licked. I moved my head forward and I licked from his shoulder and right up his neck to his ear.

He groaned and moved his lips to my neck. The rain grew heavier. Edward lapped but the rain fell faster than he could lick it up. My forearms grew goosebumps and I didn't know whether or not they were made by the weather or Edward.

"Bella, I don't mean to rush but..." I knew he was talking about the rain.

"It's ok, rush. I want you." I pulled his lips to mine as he hiked me further up the tree. I wrapped my legs around him and he moved in slowly at first before picking up speed. He continued his ministrations on my neck as my head fell back against the tree.

I met his mouth as I came and he groaned and followed.

The rain broke through at full speed and the wind picked up. I was warm inside but my skin was freezing.

"I think we need to go." I whispered. Edward nodded and we gathered our clothes. I put my undies and pants on and looked around for my bra. "Edward, where's my bra?"

He was dressed by now. He looked around. "I don't know, do you really need it?" I sneezed. He hugged me and moved his wet hands against my arms trying to create friction and some warmth.

"No." I just needed warmth now. I put my shirt on and we went back to the car. I took my pants off again. I didn't fancy sitting in the car wet, but it would have to do. Edward turned the heat up full blast and looked over at me.

He groaned. "You need a bra!" He whined.

"Why?" I looked down and saw why.

I giggled, "Keep your eyes on the road and you won't have a problem."

"How can I keep my eyes on the road when my _wife_ is sitting there with hard nipples?"

I shrugged, "Dunno, should've thought of this before you lost my bra." He laughed and we drove home.

...

By the time Edward pulled into my driveway it was dark and there were extra cars there. We left the bags in the car and went into the house. I had put pants on and we were dry.

"Where have you been?" Rose flew at me. I could tell she was really worried by the way she almost tackled me to the ground. She pulled back and I looked around. Everyone was here. Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Jake and even Seth.

"What are you guys all doing here?" I asked.

"We were worried about you!" Alice put her hands on her hips. "You're at least 6 hours late and you both haven't been answering your phone and Charlie wasn't either. You could've been dead!"

"I don't know what to tell you guys..." I started.

"We're not dead." Edward tried. I laughed but everyone else didn't. I let out a bit of a huff and pushed my hair off my face so I could see all their worried faces better.

Alice's wasn't worried though. Not anymore.

Her mouth was open like an O and her eyes were wide. "Oh my God, is that an engagement ring!" She squealed.

Rose and Alice descended on me. "Did Edward propose?"

"Where?"

"When?"

"How?"

"Is this why you two are late?"

Edward laughed. "No, we're not engaged..."

"We're married." I finished.

Everyone froze. "Ah, what?" Alice asked.

"Get out!" Jake squealed.

"You got married before me!" Rose fumed a little.

"So, no open bar?" Emmett queried.

"Where did you two get hitched?" Jasper asked.

"Forks' finest jail cell." I laughed.

The room was quiet before it exploded.

"I can't believe you did it in jail!" Alice fumed.

"My God," Jacob placed his hand on his forehead and shook his head back and forth. Seth rubbed his back comfortingly, "It's just... just... so yucky!"

"And there's bars." Emmett added but wiggled his eyebrows provocatively.

"Bella, are you not wearing a bra?" Seth asked and I covered my chest with my arms.

"It's jail!" Rose cried again and stomped her foot.

"Well it was kind of a spur of the moment thing." I tried to calm the mob.

"Yeah it's not like one plans to do it in jail." Edward tried.

"It just kind of... happened." I looked at Edward and he looked at me and then we both giggle.

"Wait," Jasper held up his hands, "So why'd you get thrown in jail in the first place?"

Everyone looked at us.

I shrugged. "Edward was speeding."

"He was speeding?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows arched.

"Yes." I replied.

"Oh really." It is possible for his brows to arch higher.

"Uh, yes, really."

"Just speeding?"

"Just speeding." I confirmed.

"Hmm." Emmett tapped his chin like he was deep in thought.

"What?" I crossed my arms, frustrated.

"Nothing." His 'I'm innocent' look didn't fool me.

Or anyone else. "Emmett." Rosalie demanded.

"So it was just speeding?" Emmett asked again.

"Yes, he was going really fast."

"Was he?"

"Yes."

"Were you making a sandwich?"

"What, why the hell would I... No." I shook my head.

"Are you sure? You weren't rolling the salami at the same time?"

"God Emmett, no." Edward shook his head in disgust. I looked at Edward. I don't get it. Edward looked at me pointedly.

"Come on Bella, you know, _salami_..." Emmett said and I looked at Edward and cringed.

"Oh, God no!"

Emmett laughed, "Ouch brother, did you see that reaction?"

Rosalie smacked Emmett on the back of the head.

"Ouch Rosie, it was a legit question."

"Actually, I think the more legit question is why did you tell us?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, couldn't you have just pretended like it never happened?" Alice squirmed.

Jasper reasons, "Actually, I think the more relevant question is, how all this went down?"

I looked at Edward and he looked at me.

"Well..."

And we told the story of how the nymphomaniac and checkout boy number three got hitched.

* * *

**_A/N Surprised? Review and let me know. An epi will be next. I think._**


	21. Epilogue

Epilogue

**EPOV**

You know when you see a twelve year old with a trolley full of eggs that something is going down. He loaded them up onto my convey belt and looked at me sheepishly as I started to scan them.

"You know if the house owner catches you," the kid looked up at me scared as hell that I was going to dob him in. I laughed and continued, "They can't prove that you did it... unless they've got surveillance cameras on the perimeters of their house." I could see the boy start to breathe again. I told him the total.

"Thanks." He said and walked with his eggs out into the rain. I think he was surprised that I gave him tips instead of a lecture. Maybe I shouldn't have given him tips. Oh well, he was going to egg houses anyway.

I just really hope my house isn't one of them.

Maybe I should've thought it through before.

"Eddie." It was _her _voice and I winced. She saw the wince and pouted trying to get me to like her again.

She worked at Wal-Mart now. Bella had gotten her a job here. I was not happy. I never wanted to see her face again and now I see it regularly. Well, maybe that is an over exaggeration.

I had graduated and gotten a teaching job at the school where I trained, so my hours at Wal-Mart were nonexistent nowadays. Except I still worked during summer vacation. Bella insisted that I didn't work but I kind of liked it. We didn't need the money. The old lady that owned the bookstore where Bella works had died just after we graduated from College and left it to Angela and Bella. Bella pulled her fair share and I still had the trust fund that I rarely touched.

Money wasn't an issue.

So why still work here?

Well... it's where Bella and I met. I know silly isn't it? And extremely sentimental seeing as the first words Bella ever said to me were _I'm not a nymphomaniac!_

This summer we would be rounding our third year of marriage. We had not yet had a 'real' wedding, as Alice, Rose, Jacob and my mother prefer to call it. For Bella and I our little jail cell hitching was just enough. She is still the same... clumsy, awkward, beautiful, loving and always there to fill the silence with something that would cause her to blush profusely later on.

She stumbled up the aisle during Emmett and Rose's wedding. She was still blushing when they came back from their honeymoon a couple of weeks later.

I knew my shift was coming to an end and instinctively I looked up. I saw Bella enter through the Wal-Mart doors. Her eyes flickered towards the check-outs and she smiled a little when she saw me. Her eyes flickered up the illuminated number. I was on number three. Her smile grew bigger. I would like to say that it was because of myself, but with Bella... I'm pretty sure it was my number.

This was after all where it had all begun.

I had chosen her to be the first person I severed that day because she was the most beautiful woman in the line. I had watched her jig on the spot a little. I thought that it was impatience, but I soon found out that it was embarrassment. Her little _ok_ was sinful. She had followed me even though it sounded like she didn't want to at all, it was an ego boost.

Of course I never expected to hear what I heard next, nor had I ever pictured those would be the first words I'd hear from my future wife's lips.

"_I'm not a nymphomaniac."_

I, being the twenty-one year old man that I was, snickered. It's not every day you scan 72 coloured condoms to a young woman. Yes, you get the odd 12 pack and the uncomfortable smile but not a profession on how one isn't a prostitute.

I kept daydreaming about the past and that first encounter with Bella... and the condoms... when I spotted her in my line. She knew that I wasn't supposed to serve her so I stared at her, trying to telepathically get her attention and such, but she was just standing there, looking at the ground, practically vibrating.

I looked at the clock. I only had five or so minutes before I was allowed to go home. That's probably why she is standing in my queue. She got closer and closer and I thought it was weird that she wasn't looking at me. Actually she was looking anywhere but at me. She looked down frequently and turned something over in her hands.

I wonder what she is holding.

I moved the people through as quickly as possible and soon enough Bella was standing there in front of me.

She placed the item down on the counter. She was a buzz with nerves. I picked up the item and ran a hand through my hair. I looked at my wife.

"Bella, seriously?"

...

**BPOV**

I entered Wal-Mart and my eyes automatically searched for Edward. He found me and I smiled at him. I was nervous about being here like this. I wasn't sure if I should do this here. It is his workplace nonetheless. It was a big step in our relationship. I mean, we've never done this before. It's too soon, isn't it? Yes, yes it is. I almost turned to wait outside on the benches outside the store when I saw his number.

Three.

Damn checkout number three.

Stupid signs!

I was doing this here and now. I smiled wider and kept walking into the store. I found _the_ aisle and moved to the section I wanted.

And then I stood.

I stared at the selection in front of me. There are a lot of choices. Why are there so many choices? Can't there just be one standout brand? The one that works the best should just be on the shelf. Why would someone want all these choices when they're just going to want the one that is most effective?

Shit, stop freaking out Bella!

I picked up the boxes and read all the stuff they preached to me trying to decide which one to buy.

So why was this so important?

Because I've, correction we've, never done this before and there's a first time for everything.

I turned around and stared at the tampon selection in front of me, trying to clear my head. Down the aisle in the tissue section with about four boxes in her trolley there was an old lady. She smiled at me. I smiled back and turned around to face _them_.

I blushed; I could feel her eyes on me. I look over at her and she is still staring at me. Maybe I should pick up the wrong box just to spook her. What if she supported that box? You never know, she was probably around and kicking during the sexual revolution.

Why should it really matter which box I pick up anyway? I'm a young married woman. I should not be afraid of doing this. I should not!

I returned my scrutiny to the options. Why hadn't I asked Alice or Rose to come with me? They would probably know which box to pick, or at least order me to just 'pick a goddam box already so we can watch this unfold!'

They'd probably bring a video camera just to catch Edward's face.

I actually feared Edward's reaction. Just a little... OK a lot.

I knew why I had asked them not to come, because this was a private thing I wanted to do with Edward, and beside if I asked Alice and Rose to come then I would've had to tell them my plans.

I could see the old woman edging closer out of the corner of my eye. It reminded me of the old man that had edged closer to me when I'd been down this aisle the first time, the time I met Edward unofficially. I wasn't as grossed out with her edging as I was with the man's.

I was still deliberating when I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. I whirred around to see the old woman. Either I had been staring at these stupid things a long time, or she gained super speed. I have a feeling it was the previous. I can't imagine what the security guys are thinking, they've probably got bets on me or something. The old lady is probably in on it too.

The old lady gestured to the shelf behind me and I stepped aside. She reached and grabbed one of the boxes I had been looking at.

I tried to rein in my shock. She can't grab those, can she? I mean, she should be all dry and shrivelled down there, she can't possible had a need for this.

"This one deary," she said.

"Sorry, what?" I asked her, my horrid mental images had distracted me from what she had said.

"This one if the best to buy." She said holding out the box. I slowly took it from her.

"Thanks." I smiled.

She smiled and then when into a detailed description of when her daughter used one, gesticulating unaware with her hands the most graphic parts of the story, telling me how it felt and everything. I thanked her again and made a mad dash down the aisle. I could hear her calling good lucks and have funs from behind me.

I reached the end of the aisle and gave her a quick wave. I started on my way to the checkouts, well, checkout number three to be exact.

Nerves hitched up a little as I joined the queue for Edward. Edward and I hadn't exactly discussed this and here I was going to spring it on him in front of all of Wal-Mart. Yes, this good folks was going to be interesting.

I waited in the line, vibrating with nerves. I kept my eyes off of Edward. Looking at him would make me run. I could feel his eyes boring, looking for my eyes.

I was next in line and Edward's shift was almost finished, I had timed this well. Who knew my deliberation would pay off in the long run? I turned the product over in my hands. My hands were shaking and my body was buzzing wanting to let natural instinct over take and run.

Edward thanked the previous customer and then turned to me. I placed my purchase on the counter.

I needed his approval. He picked it up and ran his hand through his hair, tugging slightly. I moved from foot to foot wanting him to say something, anything?

He looked at me. "Bella, seriously?"

_Bella, seriously?_

Seriously?

Shit!

I wrapped my hands around myself and looked up at my husband.

...

**EPOV**

"Edward, seriously."

"You're serious?"

She rolled her eyes, "yes, dead serious." She was no longer shaking with nerves. Actually with that eye roll I was starting to think that she was getting a little bit pissed with me for not responding.

"Wait, dead serious?"

"Seriously!" She was pissed now. She folded her arms over her chest. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out her foot was tapping.

I snapped the stunned look off of my face. I smirked. I have had people purchase these from me before. Most didn't want a long ass conversation about anything and just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible.

So I did what I would usually do.

"Do you want to pay with cash or card?"

Her eyes widened. "Edward!" She whined.

I scanned the box and then paid with my own credit card. I put up my close sign, ignoring the disgruntled customers still in the line and walked around the counter to face Bella.

I stood in front of her. "Seriously?"

She huffed, "Edward if you say seriously one more goddam time I'm gonna..." I kissed her, covering her mouth with mine. I picked her up and sat her on the counter top. Her arms wrapped around my neck and our tongues danced for dominance.

I pulled back first. "Why do you..."

She cut me off, a bit annoyed that I cut our kiss short. "I'm really fucking late." She huffed.

I kissed her briefly before I pulled back again. She sighed. I changed her sigh into a squeal as I picked her up off the counter top bridal style. I picked the test up too.

"My wife might be pregnant!" I announced to the people surrounding. "We've gotta go." Bella blushed and buried her head into my chest.

And Checkout Boy Number Three made his way out of Wal-Mart with his Nymphomaniac wife to live happily ever after.

The End

* * *

**_A/N Yep, that's all folks.  
There will be more from me in the future, but not for this story._**

**_Just want to thank everyone that has helped me with Nympho and to all the readers and reviewers._**

**_THANKS :)_**


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